海角大神

The worshippers at Beth Judah Temple could be family. They arrive at dusk on a brisk autumn Friday with leisurely hugs, hellos, and a little something for the dinner table. It鈥檚 Shabbat 鈥� the Jewish Sabbath 鈥� at Laura Nash鈥檚 small jewel of a synagogue, nestled in a tired part of this beach town, where worshippers have gathered for more than a century. Dr. Nash and her husband, Jack Greenberg, who live in central New Jersey, often begin Shabbat here when visiting their vacation home nearby.

The couple feel a sense of 鈥渕ission accomplished鈥� once they arrive on Friday evening, having successfully dispensed with traffic, work, and the city pace. And having turned off their phones, finally, they step into the hushed 90-year-old sanctuary, its peaceful, glowing light enveloping. There they join two dozen fellow worshippers for an hour of psalms, chant, and prayer.

Dr. Nash, a school psychologist, talked with the Monitor about the Fourth Commandment, which deals with the Sabbath, as part of our series examining the ways ancient religious ideas like the Ten Commandments continue to matter in today鈥檚 world.

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it (Exodus 20:8-11).

While quick to differentiate her family鈥檚 Reform practices from more traditional Jewish movements鈥�, Dr. Nash nevertheless established firm rituals that anchored the family鈥檚 Sabbath when they were raising their children. They modified their customs as their family traveled, matured, and changed. She hasn鈥檛 been one to miss a week lest the tradition be lost: 鈥淵ou want to continue good habits,鈥� she says.

From mixed faiths when they married 26 years ago, the couple considered a number of religious options when their sons were young. 鈥淲e both wanted religion in our family 鈥� a religion we felt good about,鈥� she explains. After considering some less theistic variations of church, they adopted his native Judaism. 鈥淓thical monotheism,鈥� Dr. Nash calls it. A nonpracticing Roman Catholic at the time, she converted in 2000. The sacredness of family Sabbath traditions was a big draw.

Ann Hermes/Staff

Laura Nash wears a ring with the Star of David at Beth Judah Temple in Wildwood, New Jersey. She grew up in the Roman Catholic faith but now practices Judaism with her husband.

鈥淚 like the fact that we have this way of stopping and celebrating, of resting and honoring God,鈥� she says. 鈥淪o many things are complicated. This is like a little vacation.鈥� She notes the imitation of God implicit in the celebration: 鈥淗e rested and said, 鈥楾his is good,鈥欌�� she says, referring to Genesis 2:3.

鈥淲e are called to imitate the best qualities of God,鈥� says Beth Judah鈥檚 Rabbi Ron Isaacs, who adds that it鈥檚 up to individuals to determine how to make the Sabbath special. 鈥淚 never tell people what to do. Orthodox people wouldn鈥檛 be gardening on the Sabbath [as prohibited in Jewish law]. I wouldn鈥檛 be gardening on the Sabbath. But I鈥檓 sure some from Beth Judah would. People pick and choose how they鈥檙e going to live that Commandment.鈥�

From the start, Dr. Nash has observed the Jewish custom of lighting candles to usher in the Sabbath and has cooked a nice family meal for Friday evening. She limited the extracurriculars for her three sons, now in their 20s, to a single sport, plus music and religious studies. They passed on travel sports teams, which would have placed an added pressure on the family, and on Boy Scouts, which met on Friday nights. She says, 鈥淵ou can鈥檛 be afraid to tell your kids, 鈥楴o, you can鈥檛 do that.鈥� Families need time to be together.鈥�

Since then, wherever the family goes, the Sabbath goes. At the farm vacations the couple took with their school-age sons, they鈥檇 light a pair of 鈥渢raveling鈥� candles at the dinner table, bringing some grape juice for the boys and wine for themselves. Now, with their children grown, Dr. Nash and her husband continue adapting, celebrating as a couple or with friends, even using battery-powered candles to withstand the wind at their beach home. When an unavoidable appointment takes them well into the evening on a Friday, the couple will still go home to light the candles and share a simple meal.

鈥淚t doesn鈥檛 take that long. It doesn鈥檛 have to be the fanciest meal. The bottom line is [that being] thankful for light, food, and fruit brings you back to a state of gratefulness,鈥� Dr. Nash says.

Wherever they are, they say blessings over the candles, food, and wine in Hebrew, translating for a guest who might be there, and praying in part, 鈥淐ome, let us welcome Shabbat. Thank you, God, for the mitzvah [commandment] of lighting the candles. May they shine upon us in love and peace.鈥�

Ann Hermes/Staff

Laura Nash sits outside Beth Judah Temple in Wildwood, New Jersey. She and her husband often begin Shabbat here when visiting their vacation home nearby.

Whereas their larger, suburban synagogue back home gets into the necessities of education, training, and inquiry, the Beth Judah congregation is mellow. There might be Shabbat on the beach, open to the public. This evening, which marks the Sukkot holiday, there will be dinner after the service. It鈥檚 a casual, varied crowd, which might include a cashier from the local five-and-ten, a minister from a nearby Methodist church, or a one-time summer worshipper looking for a place to pray. At home, Dr. Nash says, 鈥渆veryone is rushing off to soccer practice,鈥� but here, the congregation feels like rest itself.

Dr. Nash likes the service, especially the Mourner鈥檚 Kaddish, which includes prayers not just for the recently deceased, but also for 鈥渢hose who lie in nameless graves.鈥� 鈥淚t reminds you you are a link in the chain. In 150 years, maybe no one will remember me, but these people 鈥� a [Jewish] nation 鈥� will remember me,鈥� she says.

She also likes the fact that the congregation accepts her free-form practice of the faith. 鈥淪ome people would not touch a light switch鈥� on Shabbat, she says. 鈥淭hat is too rigid for me.鈥�

Dr. Nash reserves Saturday for 鈥渨hat I really want to do.鈥� There鈥檚 no professional work, and always something outdoors in recognition of 鈥渢he gift of the earth鈥� 鈥� a walk by the ocean, pulling some weeds in the garden, even cleaning up trash-strewn public areas. She counts bill paying as among her allowed activities: 鈥淚 don鈥檛 feel like going to the bank is a crime. This makes me feel good; balancing my budget helps my family stay intact.鈥�

As a psychologist in a public elementary school, Dr. Nash doesn鈥檛 bring religion to work, but she is all for religious traditions like the Shabbat for her students nonetheless. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 important for children is to have a sense of belonging 鈥� however you can belong,鈥� she says. Few of the parents of her students are American-born, she explains, and many of the families come from cultures with rich traditions. When she sees that sense of belonging, she says simply, 鈥淚t makes me happy for them.鈥�

Part 1: The Commandments as a moral source code in modern life

Part 2: How does the First Commandment fit in today?

Part 3: 鈥業 have to have humility鈥�: How Second Commandment helped man find freedom

Part听4:听One woman embraces Third Commandment in feeding 1,600 at Thanksgiving

Part 5: 鈥楻emember the sabbath鈥�: How one family lives the Fourth Commandment

Part 6: 鈥�Growing up is hard鈥�: How Fifth Commandment guided a child during divorce

Part 7: Is saying 鈥業鈥檇 kill for those shoes鈥� OK? One woman and Sixth Commandment.

Part 8: Is chastity old-fashioned? An NFL veteran鈥檚 take on Seventh Commandment.

Part 9: 鈥楾hou shalt not steal鈥�: Even someone else鈥檚 joy, says one educator

Part 10:

Part 11: Jealousy at Ivy League level: How a law professor views Tenth Commandment