Overcoming despair: How a wounded Green Beret came back stronger
| Lynn and Boston, Massachusetts
When Green Beret Kevin Flike was severely wounded and flown out of Afghanistan, he thought he was leaving the war behind. 鈥淟ittle did I know my battles were just beginning,鈥� he tells a veterans鈥� gathering in Lynn, Massachusetts, like he鈥檚 told so many groups around the country.
An articulate Ivy League graduate dressed in a sharp suit, it鈥檚 difficult to imagine him spending long painful nights on the couch, tears streaming down his face.
But that鈥檚 exactly why Mr. Flike came to speak here this spring before veterans and others concerned about the toll America鈥檚 longest and costliest wars have taken on its servicemen and women. An average of die by suicide, and the number of suicides among special operations forces members like Mr. Flike inexplicably last year. He knows something of those depths of darkness, and has made it his new mission to help others find their way out.
Why We Wrote This
Battling post-traumatic stress, Kevin Flike found a sense of purpose helping others. Part 1 in a summer series on people who are facing 鈥� and successfully navigating 鈥� America鈥檚 most intractable challenges.
鈥淭ake it from a man who has been through hell and back,鈥� he tells them. 鈥淭here is a light at the end of the tunnel and it burns even brighter than you can imagine.鈥�
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Tough love
Mr. Flike had dreamed of joining the U.S. Special Forces since his freshman year at a Catholic military prep school. When 9/11 hit, it became not only a dream, but a duty.
Ten years and two weeks later, Mr. Flike set out for his last day in combat.
In the tenth hour of a firefight with the Taliban, he was badly wounded. Within an hour, he was asking for his last rites. The next thing he remembers is asking someone if he鈥檇 gone to heaven or hell. 鈥淣either son, you鈥檙e in Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany,鈥� he recalls being told.
His physical recovery, though difficult and prolonged, defied doctors鈥� predictions. But his mental state began to deteriorate, and he started abusing his prescription medication.
Six months after his last surgery, his wife Kimberlee sat him down. I thought you had things you wanted to achieve in life, she said. Do you think this is any way for you to honor your fallen comrades?
It was the angriest he鈥檇 been with her since they started dating freshman year in college. Combat vets are to get divorced than other men. But he had already asked Kimberlee for a divorce, and she had said no.
鈥淚 wouldn鈥檛 be where I am if it wasn鈥檛 for her and her steadfastness to me,鈥� he says in an interview. 鈥淪he takes her marriage vows very seriously.鈥�
Refining his character
After that wake-up call, Mr. Flike reached out to a psychologist to deal with the pain he felt, as well as the guilt of having survived when others hadn鈥檛.
Then, someone else reached out to him 鈥撎齛 fellow Green Beret who had incurred similar injuries. Though still struggling himself, Mr. Flike found that aiding a fellow soldier helped him keep his own moral compass straight.
But he hit another low point when, after getting into dual master鈥檚 programs at Harvard and M.I.T, he was rejected from 16 of the 17 companies he applied to for a summer internship.
He realized: You鈥檙e the problem, not them. 鈥淚 think that that鈥檚 a big thing that happens with a lot of veterans when they get out 鈥� they think that the world needs to bend to them,鈥� he says. He ditched the sense of entitlement he鈥檇 had as a highly decorated combat veteran (he was twice awarded the Bronze Star, as well as the Purple Heart), and learned to better articulate the value he would bring to a prospective employer.
The next time he applied for jobs, he had his pick of opportunities. Now he is thriving as the director of strategic projects at Threat Stack, a cybersecurity firm in Boston.
He gets up at 4:30 a.m. every day to complete his rigorous morning routine of Bible study, meditation, and writing in his journal about lessons he鈥檚 learning and how he can improve 鈥� including as a father. That regimen, he says, is key to his resiliency.
鈥淲e practice things thousands of times in the military,鈥� he says, so that when things get tough, soldiers know exactly how to respond. 鈥淟ife is the same way.鈥�
鈥楾he epitome of America鈥�
Today Mr. Flike shares his story everywhere from Fortune 500 companies to elementary schools to the Green Beret Foundation, where he serves on the board. His favorite group to address is incarcerated veterans.
People ask him now whether, if he could go back in time, he would still choose to serve. He says 10 out of 10 times, yes.
As the war in Afghanistan approaches its 19th year, he says it鈥檚 鈥渦nacceptable鈥� that the U.S. is still sending people to fight there. But he鈥檚 not despairing about America.
鈥淭here is not a country out there that has done what the United States has done 鈥� that has taken this many races, religions, ethnic groups, and put them all together and have this thing work,鈥� says Mr. Flike. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 the epitome of America right there. And that鈥檚 what people are losing sight of.鈥�
鈥淒o we have our problems? 鈥� Should we continue to strive to fix them? Of course we should,鈥� he says. 鈥淏ut there is no other country out there that has done anything like this.鈥澨�
And for those who aren鈥檛 feeling optimistic? He asks them what they鈥檙e doing to make the world a better place.
鈥淲hen you go out and help other people, it鈥檚 going to enlighten you,鈥� says Mr. Flike, who has come to see his purpose as inspiring others to be the best version of themselves. 鈥淵ou can go through these incredibly dark and difficult periods, and you can come out of them a better person.鈥�
Read the rest of the series here:
