海角大神

The news that a female veteran was harassed last week for pulling into a veterans-only parking space 鈥� the assumption apparently being that as a woman, she hadn鈥檛 served in the military 鈥� has struck a chord with a number of female vets.

They say that they identify with the experience of Mary Claire Caine of Wilmington, N.C., who served in Kuwait with the Air Force. Ms. Caine received a nasty note on her windshield from someone who identified as a vet.

鈥淚 think they took one look at me when I got out of my car and saw that I was a woman and assumed I wasn鈥檛 a veteran,鈥� Caine told WECT, her local television station, this week.聽

It鈥檚 a common story, say female service members. Retired Col. Ellen Haring, an Army veteran, recalls walking into a bar with some fellow female veterans who had been wounded in service.聽

While the bartender offered free drinks to Ms. Haring鈥檚 husband, who was with the group, 鈥淗e never even considered that the women [at the bar] might not just be vets, but combat vets,鈥� she says.聽

In fact, two of the women had been awarded Distinguished Flying Crosses, and three of them had Purple Hearts. 鈥淏ut my husband got free drinks,鈥� she says. 鈥淗e looked like a soldier.鈥�

鈥淭hat鈥檚 every woman veteran鈥檚 life,鈥� says Tegan Griffith, who as a US Marine deployed to Iraq with an attack helicopter squadron.

For a number of years running, she has had the same experience on Veterans Day when she visits Applebee鈥檚 restaurant, for example, with civilian male co-workers.

鈥淵ou walk around, and these managers are shaking hands with the men and saying, 鈥楾hank you for your service,鈥� 鈥� she says. 鈥淓very year I get skipped over.鈥�

This happened despite the fact that she wore a sweat shirt from her deployment one year and a leather biker vest with some unit patches the next year.

For two years, she was ignored by the same manager, and so she confronted him. 鈥淗e gave me the same lame excuse that a lot of people do: 鈥榃ell, I guess we鈥檙e just used to the men.鈥� 鈥�

For this reason, Ms. Griffith makes it a point to introduce herself to her fellow Marine veterans. 鈥淎 lot of the male Marines have never served with a woman,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 give them a hearty handshake.鈥�

And at veterans events, she always greets the women first. 鈥淓ven if she says, 鈥業 didn鈥檛 serve, I鈥檓 just here with my husband,鈥� I do it to try to break down the stigma.鈥�

The lack of awareness about the contributions to combat made by servicewomen in the post-9/11 era 鈥渃an really be a hard thing for a lot of female vets,鈥� says Greg Jacob, policy director for the Service Women鈥檚 Action Network, an advocacy group. 鈥淎nd when you get that sort of obliviousness from your fellow vets, it really hits home.鈥�

Caine told WECT that after she found the note on her windshield at the supermarket, 鈥淔or a split second I thought, 鈥楢m I a worthy enough veteran to park in this spot?鈥� And then I got very angry at myself for even considering that.鈥�

But it鈥檚 a feeling that many women grapple with. Men often inflate their combat experience: There are the 鈥渟tolen valor鈥� stories of veterans wearing medals they didn鈥檛 earn 鈥渢o put themselves in this 鈥樏糱er-vet鈥� category,鈥� says Mr. Jacob, who served as a Marine.

The majority of women vets, on the other hand, 鈥淥ften don鈥檛 even identify themselves as veterans,鈥� he adds. 鈥淭hey think, 鈥業 served in the military, but didn鈥檛 deploy鈥� or 鈥業 went to Iraq, but never went outside the wire.鈥� 鈥�

Now, many veterans of foreign wars groups, however, are endeavoring to fight these biases and are 鈥渞eaching out to women in a way they never have before,鈥� Jacob says. 鈥淭hey realize their membership base of old white men is starting to die off.鈥�

It helps, he adds, that the American Legion just elected its first woman as executive director in November, and the Vietnam Veterans of America has a woman as vice president.聽

鈥淲e as a nation are beginning to recognize female veterans,鈥� Jacob adds. 鈥淏ut we still have a long, long way to go.鈥澛�