海角大神

I recently saw a statistic that should have made me beam with pride: According to 鈥淎way with Words鈥� by Joe Berkowitz, 鈥淓nglish has by far the largest vocabulary in history, having surpassed a million words in 2009.鈥�

That鈥檚 double the number of its nearest rival, German. But does that satisfy Anglophones? Nope 鈥� we just invent more.

For proof, consider the responses that poured in when Vancouver鈥檚 Iva Cheung tweeted this seemingly idle query a few months back: 鈥淲hat words, expressions, or pronunciations are unique to your familiolect? Quote-tweet with your favourites!鈥�

Her tweet generated a whopping response. Then, within 24 hours, a BuzzFeed listicle cannibalizing her tweet would unleash hundreds more.

Cheung 鈥� an editor, designer, and champion of the 鈥減lain language鈥� movement 鈥� told me she first encountered 鈥渇amiliolect鈥� (some linguists prefer 鈥渇amilect鈥�) while reading educational-psychology literature. Pressed to define the term, Cheung hazarded this: 鈥淎 familiolect is any dialect peculiar to a family group, be it nuclear or extended.鈥�

Cheung鈥檚 Twitter correspondents waxed nostalgic about the 鈥渃language鈥� unique to their childhood homes, much of which seemed to revolve around the dinner table. Judging from the entries Cheung received, an entire continent was raised on a single dish: pasta with meat and cheese. Young tongues contorted 鈥渟paghetti鈥� into 鈥渟ketti,鈥� 鈥減asketti,鈥� 鈥渂asketti,鈥� and even 鈥減oisonghetti.鈥� In 鈥渒itchrooms鈥� across the land, Parmesan cheese was invoked as 鈥渟haky cheese,鈥� 鈥渟prinkle cheese,鈥� and 鈥� my favorite 鈥� 鈥渟paghetti salt.鈥� And sausages were verbally sliced and diced into 鈥渟kosiges,鈥� 鈥渟nobbajubs,鈥� 鈥渟nausages,鈥� and 鈥� in a recollection that seemed to disturb even its originator 鈥� 鈥渉ostages.鈥� (鈥淕od help anyone who hears us say 鈥榃e鈥檙e having hostages for dinner,鈥� 鈥� mused @LolGrainger.)

All good clean fun, to be sure. But what are we to make of the fact that the TV remote, of all things, sparked the most coinages by far? 鈥淢ote,鈥� 鈥渕otey,鈥� 鈥渒ermote鈥�; 鈥渂odger,鈥� 鈥減uncher,鈥� 鈥渄inker-donker鈥�; 鈥渕eemo鈥� and 鈥渄ooda鈥�; 鈥渢he Force鈥� and 鈥渢he Frank鈥� (as in Zappa); 鈥渃lickety-boo鈥� and 鈥渇licketty-do.鈥� In Karen Compton鈥檚 den, the device is known as the 鈥渂ygawd鈥� (鈥渂ecause my husband鈥檚 family always says, 鈥楤y gawd, where鈥檚 the remote?鈥� 鈥�). And in Nita Poppins鈥檚 house it is nothing less than 鈥渢he god-stick鈥� (鈥渂ecause it has the power and control!鈥�).

So, yes, the slang we sling at home makes easy grist for comedic mills. Yet it is also an heirloom to be treasured.聽

Allan Fallow, curator of #TodaysNeologism on Twitter, is filling in for Melissa Mohr, who is away on vacation until Oct. 8.