海角大神

This is a perennial question, but it鈥檚 good that it keeps coming up. In Disney鈥檚 Babble.com,聽聽(last name wisely not provided for her son鈥檚 privacy), again asks when a child鈥檚 right to privacy kicks in and whether parents are violating that right by sharing photos in social media.

鈥淚 believe that yes, my son has a right to privacy,鈥� she writes, 鈥渂ut I also believe that [with her baby] at 14 months, it is my job as his mother to decide what is an appropriate amount of sharing/privacy and that it is possible to share pictures and stories without violating that right.鈥� She discusses how there鈥檚 no single right answer, that each family has to find the right place for its kids on a kid-privacy spectrum from no online photo sharing at all to sharing privately to sharing a whole lot publicly. She shares only occasionally (admirably trying not to post anything that would be embarrassing if mother-son roles were reversed) and doing a cost-benefit analysis, the benefit being the support system that comes with sharing our lives.

Four years ago Lisa Belkin put a similar question to readers of the New York Times鈥檚聽, but instead of asking when a child鈥檚 right to privacy starts, she asked 鈥渁t what point do parents lose their right to their children鈥檚 tales?鈥� Then she elaborated in a way that really pulls you up short: 鈥淲hen do things stop being something that happened to 鈥榤e鈥� and start being something that happened to 鈥榯hem,鈥� and therefore not 鈥榤ine鈥� to tell?鈥�

That鈥檚 the exact question another parent,聽聽鈥� mother of two (one very young, one almost a teen) and assistant principal in an elementary school 鈥� seems to have asked herself four years later. She writes in her blog that she is 鈥渧ery cautious鈥� about sharing information about her older daughter because 鈥淚 don鈥檛 want her to be attached to the social stream of who I have defined her to be. I want her to be her own person, with her own likes, dislikes, pins, etc.鈥�

Clearly all of these parents are mindful that this is a pretty permanent, searchable, global archive in which they鈥檙e displaying their children鈥檚 photos and milestones, and Belkin even touches on the criticism and trollish behaviors that can emerge online, well after a story about a child has been posted. It would be nice if there were a simple answer to these child privacy questions for all parents, but at least we鈥檙e getting better informed about the implications of sharing so we can better draw our own lines in the child-privacy sand. So let鈥檚 keep asking this:聽Do parents have the 鈥渙nline rights鈥� to their children鈥檚 life story, and 鈥� if so 鈥� up to what point in their children鈥檚 lives?

海角大神 has assembled a diverse group of the best family and parenting bloggers out there. Our contributing and guest bloggers are not employed or directed by the Monitor, and the views expressed are the bloggers' own, as is responsibility for the content of their blogs. Anne Collier blogs at聽