America鈥檚 loneliest generation? It may not be the one you expect.
A lone person takes advantage of unseasonably warm temperatures as he sits along the bank of Lake Michigan at North Avenue Beach March 3, 2021, in Chicago.
Shafkat Anowar/AP/File
How often do you feel lonely?
The Pew Research Center posed that question to over 6,000 U.S. adults. Its new survey found that 1 in 6 adults feels socially isolated . It鈥檚 another marker of the 鈥渓oneliness epidemic,鈥� a term coined by Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. What surprised Pew researchers was who feels loneliness most acutely.
One might imagine that older Americans are more isolated than young people and thus more forlorn. Turns out, older generations feel least lonely. The difference may come down to how members of different generations engage with others. People under 30 years old are far more likely to communicate with friends via texting or social media, according to the 鈥淢en, Women, and Social Connections鈥� study. The opposite is true for those over 65, who also said they tend to feel more optimistic all or most of the time.
Why We Wrote This
Americans now spend more time alone. Is isolation the price of technological convenience?
鈥淢en and women aren鈥檛 really that different,鈥� says Kim Parker, director of social trends research at Pew. 鈥淚f there is a major fault line, it鈥檚 more along age than it is along gender.鈥�
Technology has made it easier than ever to communicate with others. We can work from home. Get meals and groceries dropped off at the door. Multitask by playing video games with someone halfway across the world while posting emojis on social media. But it鈥檚 at the expense of in-person interaction.
鈥淧eople start to lose social skills,鈥� says Mike Veny, a renowned corporate wellness specialist who focuses on mental health. 鈥淚t just makes it harder for even extroverts to develop real relationships.鈥�
The Pew survey found that both women and men turn to their spouse or partner, if they have one, for emotional support. But women have more extensive social networks. When faced with loneliness, women are more likely to reach out to their mothers, a friend, another family member, or even a mental health professional than men are.
There鈥檚 a real benefit to men spending social time with other men, says Ms. Parker. But there are ongoing debates about men鈥檚 groups. Are they hotbeds of 鈥渢oxic masculinity鈥�? Or valuable bulwarks for those who feel adrift? As a follow-up to its 2024 report聽 Pew鈥檚 new survey explores perceptions of men鈥檚 groups. Attitudes differ according to political party identification. Republican males are most likely to view men鈥檚 groups as having a positive impact on society.
So what can one do to counter loneliness? Friendship experts say that people need to be intentional about setting aside time for in-person socializing. Relationships are built on trust, says Mr. Veny. That means making appointments and then keeping that commitment.
Ask yourself which values, interests, or needs aren鈥檛 being met, says Glenda Shaw, author of 鈥淏etter You, Better Friends: A Whole New Approach to Friendship.鈥� Look for groups that share those values. For example, volunteer at an animal shelter or enroll in a night class on creative writing. See whom you meet.
鈥淭he emphasis is about working together on a project rather than 鈥楧o I like them?鈥欌�� says Ms. Shaw. 鈥淵ou have something in common on which to build. ... At the end of the project, you say, 鈥楬ey, why don鈥檛 you come over for dinner?鈥欌��
Also, if you notice someone who seems lonely, extend an invitation. It could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.