海角大神

After a mass shooting, what does healing look like?

There鈥檚 something strangely delicate about Gerard Lawson鈥檚 job.

As a counselor and trauma specialist, he鈥檚 volunteered in the past to help survivors of catastrophes, and he鈥檚 often been among the first to help trauma victims through the shock and numbing effects of experiencing violence and loss of life.

He was on the road to Virginia Beach, Virginia, this week, volunteering once again as its communities began to hold their first funerals and memorial services, offering his expertise to the survivors of the nation鈥檚 most recent mass shooting.

He says he still goes back and forth about whether it鈥檚 a good thing that he鈥檚 the kind of person who rushes into the midst of those experiencing such sudden loss. He drove to New York during 9/11 to help the Red Cross provide counseling for families amid their shattering grief. He was on campus when a mass shooter killed 32 and wounded 17 during the massacre at聽Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg on April 16, 2007. After making sure his students and colleagues were safe, he immediately went to work, he says, setting out into the chaos to organize the university鈥檚 trauma teams.

These have affected his life and emotions as well. But sometimes, he and other trauma specialists note, it is precisely during such experiences that some people can find not only a way to heal, but also indeed discover the strange and paradoxical possibility that such trauma can become the soil of long-term personal growth, and a richer experience of the human bonds that lie at our core.

鈥淲hen you have been through any event that causes you to reckon with your mortality, and you reassess what鈥檚 most important in your life, it can open up the possibility that I may want to engage in my life in a deeper, more meaningful way,鈥� says Dr. Lawson, whose is training other counselors as a professor in the School of Education at Virginia Tech.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 want to seem like a Pollyanna and talk about that in the midst of the crises people are going through,鈥� he continues. 鈥淏ut in the back of my mind, I do want to think about how do I position this person so that we establish a solid foundation today for them to build on, so that they have not only a great chance for recovery, but a really good chance to actually experience some of this kind of growth as well?鈥�

With a series of mass shootings in the United States over the past few years, and after decades of armed conflict in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Syria, health professionals say there has been a very important focus on those suffering from the physical and mental darts of post-traumatic stress disorder.

And as the acronym PTSD has become a part of the American cultural lexicon, such attention has served to help those who are diagnosed with it, experts say. More people are aware, and more people are seeking help for its isolating symptoms, including feelings of being misunderstood or pushed to the margins and forgotten.

Yet another symptom of PTSD is the tendency for survivors to begin to 鈥渙vergeneralize鈥� about the risks of living in the world. Sometimes trauma victims can begin to inflate and distort its dangers, often to an extent that becomes debilitating.

Yet, in fact, most human beings are actually remarkably resilient in the face of trauma, says Dr. Lawson, also the past president of the American Counseling Association. Some 70% to 80% of American adults experience the kind of trauma that could trigger PTSD, he and other experts say. But only 9% to 12%聽 experience the persistent, longer-lasting symptoms.

鈥淥ne of the things that is a core belief of psychological first aid, and the model that most of us use in disaster mental health, is that this gap shows us that people are pretty resilient,鈥� he says.

鈥淎nd I believe that you have in you the skills that you need, the abilities that you need, the strength that you need to be able to overcome this trauma 鈥� let me help you access that.鈥�

Almost as an inverse counterpoint to PTSD, many mental health professionals have made note of what they call the possibilities of 鈥減ost-traumatic growth.鈥� And with a growing body of concrete, evidence-based techniques that can effectively treat the aftereffects of trauma, many have also become more optimistic about the short- and long-term prognosis of those whose lives have been shattered by violence and sudden loss.

鈥淒evelopmentally, I think there are now ways to handle situations like these,鈥� says Samuel Gladding, professor of counseling at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. 鈥淎nd it starts with recognizing the depth of people鈥檚 shock and disbelief. Individuals, those directly as well as indirectly involved, need to mourn, and they especially need to participate in shared, community-based events.鈥�

鈥淢any times it鈥檚 very helpful to participate in rituals, whether it鈥檚 singing or the laying of flowers or participating in religious services, or any kind of spiritual experience,鈥� continues Dr. Gladding, who has also volunteered with the Red Cross to offer counseling to survivors.

鈥淏ut then they need to talk,鈥� he adds. 鈥淎nd that鈥檚 a slower process than we would want it to be, but that鈥檚 just developmentally the way it is.鈥�

More and more, many survivors are doing just that. Out from the solemn litanies of dates and names of places that now mark the nation鈥檚 experiences of domestic massacre, both survivors and mental health professionals have begun to express the strange paradoxes of life after trauma.

Mike Cronk had a chance to run as volley after volley rained down where he crouched with his friend, Rob McIntosh, in what became known as the 鈥渒illing zone鈥� at the Route 91 Harvest Festival massacre on the Las Vegas strip, where a single gunman shot and killed 58 and wounded 422 people on Oct. 1, 2017.聽聽

Instead of running, he stayed, pulling his buddy, who was seriously wounded, to safety. He then held a young stranger in his arms, a man whose name he later learned was Quinton Robbins, staying with him as his life slipped away.聽聽

A recently retired school teacher from Tok, Alaska, Mr. Cronk took three months to sort things out. He readied to go see the kids at the school. But he couldn鈥檛. Sometimes he is in his truck driving, and the tears just start flowing.

鈥淚t just chokes you up, because so many people died and so many people are still hurting,鈥� he says. 鈥淏ut I also don鈥檛 let it eat at me. I鈥檓 just thankful that I鈥檓 here to live my life, with purpose.鈥�

鈥淏efore this, I was pretty quiet and shy, but now I get out there and I want people to know, no, you don鈥檛 have to let this change your life for the negative. You can use this as a power, a source, to get by and make an impact with other people.鈥�

San Diego-based trauma counselor Shiva Ghaed, who also survived the Las Vegas shooting, has noticed this as well.

鈥淭here is a bit of controversy about the idea of post-traumatic growth, but somehow when we survive, many people actually find that they have gained clarity and have a purpose,鈥� she says. 鈥淚 wanted people to know that there is a great chance that you not only bounce back to baseline, which is what we call resilience, but that you can grow beyond it.鈥�

Dr. Ghaed, a country music fan and a clinical psychologist for the U.S. military, immediately started a survivor group at a country music bar in San Diego, which drew dozens of survivors every Monday night for over a year.

She recalls how the connections people made had a transformative effect on those who gathered together, including a man who survived the Las Vegas shooting and who was bristling with rage about what had happened.

鈥淏y fostering forgiveness and talking about how these people had died in his arms in that open field, [his transformation] was amazing,鈥� Dr. Ghaed says. 鈥淚 think he found a greater sense of purpose and meaning in his life. It鈥檚 the way we honor the people we have lost 鈥� by truly living.鈥�

There have been a proliferation of such online and real-time survivor groups, many patterned on , a Facebook page started by survivors of the mass shooting at Columbine High School in Colorado on April 20, 1999. On this date every year, students hold a day of service at the school, and the The Rebels Project now has more than 1,100 mass shooting victims and survivors as members.

鈥淐an you think of a better [response] to any mass shooter out there?鈥� says Paula Reed, a Columbine survivor who teaches English. 鈥淵ou wanted to destroy us, and you made us into incredible forces for good in the world, that we might not have been if you hadn鈥檛 done that.鈥�

鈥淏ut it鈥檚 also what those kids would鈥檝e wanted us to do,鈥� continues Ms. Reed. The people she lost that day, Rachel Scott and Dan Rohrbaugh, 鈥渨ould not want me to curl into a ball and stop functioning. They would have wanted me to make their deaths mean something. They were too valuable to just let it be worthless.鈥�

This year, on the first anniversary of the mass shooting at Santa Fe High School on May 18, 2018, the rural community between Houston and Galveston, Texas, took a similar approach. It resisted media coverage. Only one parent had stood up to demand changes to gun laws. Instead, it commemorated the loss of eight students and two teachers that day with a day of service, including a communitywide pay-it-forward project.

Students participated in at least half a dozen community projects, and Sante Fe officials funded a 鈥渞esiliency center,鈥� open to anyone who needs help or just wants to talk.

鈥淵ou鈥檙e doing your little part to help the community heal,鈥� says Joe Giusti, a county commissioner and veteran deputy constable who lives in Santa Fe. 鈥淓ven if you had no kids in the school or no friends harmed, people are doing their part. And sometimes it seems like a small thing, but people appreciate it, and it goes a really long way with people.鈥�

鈥淲e are not built to see what we see sometimes,鈥� Mr. Giusti adds. 鈥淏ut given the shooting drills in pretty darn near every school, kids have a mindset where they look at themselves in life as a protector, as a person who needs to step up and help. And you鈥檙e seeing more of that throughout the country: people jumping in, trying to help, refusing to be a victim.鈥�

鈥淭he response from the community as a whole did restore your faith and the direction we are headed,鈥� he says. 鈥淎fter a year, we鈥檙e still together, and it seems the bonds are even stronger.鈥�

Kristina Anderson was sitting in her French class at Virginia Tech on April 16, 2007, when the gunman walked into her classroom and began to methodically shoot her teacher and fellow students. She fell to the floor and braced herself, burying her head in her arms, before feeling a bullet tear through her back. The gunman left, but then returned to kill those who survived. He shot her two more times.

Over a decade later, she鈥檚 still recounting those terrifying moments as she runs her nonprofit, , which partners with law enforcement agencies and first responders to help schools develop the most effective ways to survive an active shooter situation, and, like other groups, is helping to forge support networks for survivors.

鈥淏ut I would say that, of all the different groups and communities that have helped me, first and foremost, I would go back to trained therapists who have been able to help me understand the ways that this shooting has impacted my life,鈥� Ms. Anderson says.

鈥淎 lot of our general friends and family members are not always best suited to have those conversations, because they鈥檙e too emotionally attached to you and to your well-being,鈥� she says. 鈥淪o they may not want to talk about it, because they feel like they are going to make you unsettled or scared.鈥�

She bristles sometimes when her story is characterized as a 鈥渢riumph over tragedy,鈥� which to her seems glib and clich茅d. She still suffers from involuntary physical and emotional triggers that can disrupt her daily life.

But her recovery has included what health professionals call 鈥渃ognitive process therapy,鈥� which has especially helped her get through the kind of persistent emotional fear that danger is lurking everywhere 鈥� an 鈥渙vergeneralization鈥� reaction that those with PTSD often suffer.聽聽

And she remembers one session with her therapist vividly 鈥� it was like a light went on. Often, when her parents call her at a time she doesn鈥檛 quite expect, her heart begins to palpitate and she鈥檒l feel short of breath. 鈥淢y thought is, someone must have died in my family.鈥�

But she鈥檚 worked through these thoughts in her therapy sessions, even 10 years after her ordeal. 鈥淢y therapist would ask me questions. 鈥楬as anything happened to your family since the shooting?鈥� And I remember thinking, no. 鈥極K. Had anything happened prior to this shooting?鈥� No, nothing of that caliber. 鈥楽o is your view of the world, is this reaction that you鈥檙e having, is this accurate?鈥� I鈥檓 like, no.鈥�

It can be a long process and can sometimes require lifelong care, as survivors need to talk through such involuntary physical and emotional reactions.

鈥淲hen you feel powerless, we鈥檙e going to work really hard to reinforce the fact that you get to make choices, you get to make decisions, you鈥檙e in charge,鈥� says Dr. Lawson. 鈥淭o the greatest extent possible, you are in charge of what鈥檚 going to happen next here. And that鈥檚 a piece that sort of sets the groundwork for the work that we鈥檙e going to do moving forward.鈥�

Ms. Anderson worries that concepts like 鈥減ost-traumatic growth鈥� can stigmatize those who still struggle with PTSD.

鈥淲e shouldn鈥檛 hold people to the standard that one day, or one moment, we鈥檙e going to reach this epiphany,鈥� she says. 鈥淭hat we will somehow put behind the trauma and the memory and the smells of that day.鈥�

Dates and anniversaries are always particularly hard for her. And after every mass shooting, like last week鈥檚 in Virginia Beach, she knows she is going to have to be vigilant, slowing down to focus on her thoughts.

鈥淭he hardest thing about being a survivor is that people assume that you wake up one day and everything鈥檚 OK,鈥� Ms. Anderson says. 鈥淢y recovery, I understand, is going to be a work-in-progress. I don鈥檛 always know what the issues will be, but the best we can do is allow ourselves the time to reflect on it, to go back into counseling, or to reach out to someone that you know, that you trust, who won鈥檛 make you feel like you should have moved past it.鈥�

The terror attack at an office party in San Bernardino, California, on Dec. 2, 2015, really put her into a tailspin 鈥� the close proximity of the shooters to their victims made her own ordeal come flooding back.聽 聽聽

Alone in her basement apartment that night, she sobbed for hours, as distraught as she had been since the first year after those moments in a Virginia Tech classroom.聽聽

But she did feel her own ability to make decisions, and she stepped out into the chilly evening and just walked, her mind racing.

The next morning, when she climbed out of bed, a thought that had been welling within her was still on her mind. She went to the whiteboard on her fridge, and wrote it down: 鈥淵ou wake up and you decide the world is good.鈥�