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Bus monitor Karen Klein: Publicity punishment enough for bullies?

Karen Klein, the bullied bus monitor, doesn't want her taunters prosecuted. Is the negative publicity about the bullies punishment enough? What would you do if it were your kid?

So an update on the story this week about Karen Klein, the bus monitor who was shown on a YouTube video being relentlessly verbally abused by a group of middle school children:

International donations for Ms. Klein, sent through the social fundraising site indiegogo.com, have topped 鈥� get this 鈥� $450,000.听 (Take that, kids who were taunting Klein about how 鈥減oor鈥� she was.) Southwest Airlines has offered to fly Klein and nine other people on an all-expense-paid trip to Disneyland. And at least two of the kids have 鈥渁pologized,鈥� according to statements handed over by police to, of course, CNN鈥檚 Anderson Cooper 360.听 (Does this story get wackier and wackier, or what?)

"I wish I had never done those things, if that had happened to someone in my family like my mother or grandmother, I would be really mad at the people who did that to them," read one of the statements, given by a child identified as Wesley.

(And really, Wesley, you should be mad if someone did it to 补苍测辞苍别鈥檚 mother or grandmother, but I won鈥檛 quibble.)

Meanwhile, just to give more ammunition to those who blame our 鈥渕ean鈥� culture for the middle school kids鈥� outrageous behavior, police in Greece, N.Y. have had to start patrolling the homes of the boys involved because they have reportedly received death threats.

(Sigh. C鈥檓on people. Let鈥檚 stay classy here.)

Still, there鈥檚 no more info on what will actually happen, officially,听to the little bus听monsters.

Yesterday I wrote that I suspected that the answer to this would be, effectively, nothing. Public school systems are hamstrung in handing out any real punishments, and at this point Klein says she does not want to press criminal charges.

(This, by the way, goes to one of the questions I鈥檝e heard about this incident, which is why the bus monitor, the person supposedly in charge of keeping the peace on the yellow Lord of the Flies mobile, takes such abuse. Problematic, no?

And I agree. But her response, when asked why she didn鈥檛 try to discipline the children was a telling: 鈥淲hy bother? What good is it going to do?鈥�)

Any real consequences, I imagine, will (or won鈥檛) take place within the homes of the children involved. 听And given the way the children acted on the bus 鈥� well, it鈥檚 easy to be a bit skeptical about whether any home-based reaction will be particularly effective.

One of the seventh grader鈥檚 dads, for instance, said the boys have suffered enough given the publicity of the video.

鈥淗e鈥檚 a 13-year-old kid,鈥� Robert Helms told ABC news. 鈥淚t was a stupid mistake and he鈥檚 paying for it, but I just think it鈥檚 a little out of control.鈥�

Um, wrong.

When bazillions of the people around the world catch you doing something horrible, I鈥檓 sure it鈥檚 tough. But that exposure 鈥� as embarrassing as it is (and should be) 鈥� is simply not punishment.听 No, it鈥檚 just the mirror.听 Confusing the two is at the crux of a widespread parenting problem.听 (Just because something is hard for your kid doesn鈥檛 mean that it鈥檚 unjust.)

But it got me wondering鈥�.听 what would you do if you found out your kid had participated in something like this?

An informal query and perusal of web comments lead to answers that ranged from听 鈥淭hey would be grounded FOREVER鈥� to 鈥渃orporal punishment.鈥�

But really, what would you do?听 What a horrifically embarrassing, saddening moment for a parent.

And to be honest, I really don鈥檛 know the answer.听 I would hope that the answer is in prevention 鈥� in having a home attitude where relentless taunting of a grandmother is not considered just a 鈥渟tupid mistake,鈥� but morally, deeply wrong.

And not just having that home environment, but in creating an open dialogue with one鈥檚 kids to connect the dots between home values and the seemingly disparate pop culture values of political incivility, shock jock radio shows, and accepted meanness.听 Kids live in both worlds 鈥� it's up to us to help ground them in kindness. And it鈥檚 also up to us to provide instructive consequences when they go astray.