Social media: Parents unconcerned by Facebook, Twitter
A new survey says 83 percent of parents believe social media benefits kids more than it harms them.
Facebook and other social media weren't a concern for 83 percent of parents surveyed, who said they thought the benefits of social media outweighed the risks involved for children.
Sean Kilpatrick/The Canadian Press/AP
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) 鈥� Parents, it turns out, rarely see Facebook as a danger zone.
A whopping 83 percent of parents think the benefits of their children鈥檚 social media use outweigh or at least balance any perceived risks.
In a national survey released Thursday by Children鈥檚 Mercy Hospitals and Clinics, almost three-fourths of parents said social media prepare children for success in a digital society and encourage curiosity and collaboration.
The results surprised researchers at Children鈥檚 Mercy given that parents also said they are concerned about child molesters, sexting and cyber bullying.
More than half of the 728 parents surveyed thought social media made their children more open-minded.
Barely two in five parents worried their children鈥檚 online activity could breed social isolation and behavioral problems. Roughly the same number was concerned that children鈥檚 virtual lives could get in the way of their real-life social skills and friendships.
The expert鈥檚 take?
Social media exposure has many benefits, said Children鈥檚 Mercy child psychologist Ed Christophersen, but giving children unlimited and unsupervised access is asking for trouble.
鈥淢ost of us did some things as adolescents that we don鈥檛 want on the front page of The Kansas City Star,鈥� he said. 鈥淎nd yet we kind of assume blindly that our kids won鈥檛.鈥�
Police agree.
鈥淵ou have a right to demand the password for your children,鈥� Overland Park, Kan., Police spokesman Gary Mason said. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e your kids and you should be actively looking at what they put on the Internet.鈥�
There are other ways to give a child freedom, he said.
Of the parents surveyed, 71 percent believe that 13 is the right age to let their children use Facebook. Christophersen said that鈥檚 usually the right choice.
鈥淧eople keep saying 鈥榳hat age, what age, what age?鈥� Well, it depends on the maturity level,鈥� he said. 鈥淚f you鈥檝e had a kid that has just been a pain, why would you give them unlimited access to the Internet?鈥�
Facebook restricts children younger than 13 from opening an account, although it鈥檚 not uncommon for children to fib about their age when signing up.
Once a child has a social media account, Christophersen insists that parents get passwords and join their child鈥檚 circle of friends to see posts and pictures.
Social media are not private like a diary, he stressed.
鈥淚f your child has a journal, it鈥檚 none of your business what the child says in it,鈥� he said. But Facebook and Twitter, he said, aren鈥檛 a journal.
Pictures and posts live on the Internet to haunt or humiliate a child forever.
鈥淧arents,鈥� he said, 鈥渕ake the mistake of assuming the Internet is safe until they find out otherwise.鈥�
After decades of work, he鈥檚 seen it all. Teenage lovers texting pictures of their genitalia only to wind up in jeopardy of spending their lives on a sexual predator list. He鈥檚 talked to angry parents upset about discussions their children had online about sex. Most of the time he ends up counseling the parent to use common sense: Monitor your child.
Many parents don鈥檛 know how to navigate social media and trust teenagers to tell them if there is a problem.
鈥淚f you do a survey of teenagers they will probably tell you that the car is safe even though it鈥檚 the biggest risk to their life and limb,鈥� he said.
Tiffany Lynch, a mother of four in Mission Hills, Kan., has gotten used to her children complaining that life isn鈥檛 fair.
Lynch ruled out Facebook for her children until they hit high school. Internet browsing is restricted to G-rated sites and cut off altogether after 9 p.m. and on Sundays. Cell phones cannot charge overnight in the bedroom. That keeps her children from texting in the middle of the night.
鈥淚 feel like I鈥檓 alone,鈥� she said. 鈥淭here aren鈥檛 many people that have a plan like this in place.鈥�
The former teacher didn鈥檛 come to her decisions lightly. Lynch enjoys sharing pictures on Facebook and agrees that there are clear benefits to the site. But she also wonders when children are mature enough to understand the impact of a snarky status update or a mean-spirited Tweet.
Her policy doesn鈥檛 go over well with her 13- or 12- year-old, both of whom have friends on Facebook despite the age minimum.
鈥淐all your friends,鈥� she tells them. 鈥淧ick up the phone. Invite them over. You don鈥檛 need Facebook.鈥�
Parents often falsely assume that schools monitor their child鈥檚 social media accounts daily.
鈥淲ith nearly 29,000 students,鈥� said Olathe, Kan., School District spokeswoman Maggie Kolb, 鈥渢hat would be nearly impossible.鈥�
Parents seeking guidance online often reach out to school officials for help first. Many districts have responded with parent education classes.
In Olathe, a team of experts made about 40 presentations last year about online bullying, integrity and safety.
Olathe Assistant Superintendent Erin Dugan wasn鈥檛 surprised to hear parents think the benefits of social media outweigh the risks. Social media have clear upsides. The pitfalls are still being assessed, she said.
鈥淥ur biggest message to parents is talk to us, keep us informed, but actively supervise your children,鈥� Dugan said.
Parents have been surprised to learn that school districts are greatly limited in how they can respond to complaints. Often, the offending Tweet or Facebook post happens outside school. The district will get involved if a threat is made that could disrupt or directly impact the school day.
But unkind words? Or malicious posts from classmates?
That鈥檚 up to parents. Districts throughout the city also urge parents to report criminal activity directly to police.
For Lynch, the nasty behavior only reinforces her decision.
Advice from pediatricians backs up her policies, but there鈥檚 no true guidebook to get her through.
鈥淲hen you decide to make a stand against something that is against the cultural norm,鈥� she said, 鈥渋t鈥檚 a daily battle.鈥�
鈥斺赌斺赌�
Advice from Children鈥檚 Mercy
Initiate the discussion about social media. Garner their opinions about the news of the day and share your experiences. Don鈥檛 shut them down if they talk about negative experiences.
Be a good role model to help them make good decisions.
Create technology-free zones at the dinner table and elsewhere. Have a no-screen policy in a child鈥檚 bedroom to promote restorative sleep.
Encourage creativity that doesn鈥檛 involve technology. If you want them to go outside on a nice day, suggest a bike ride or walk together.
Don鈥檛 rely on children to help you navigate social media so you can鈥檛 be tricked later.
Parents should always review their child鈥檚 online history, text messages, emails and more. Take away phones or computers if they don鈥檛 comply.
Start with limited access to the Internet and make them earn your trust.
Create clear consequences for breaking stipulated rules. Doctors suggest using a signed contract to spell out the rules.