Why comparing yourself to others is fruitless
It doesn鈥檛 matter what stuff your best friend has; the only thing that matters is whether or not you get personal fulfillment out of the elements of your life, Hamm says.
One woman works at her cubicle desk while another makes copies on a copy machine at Z Corporation headquarters in Burlington, Mass., in 2010. While it is easy to compare yourself to others when it comes to money matters, Hamm says you should focus on your own financial success 鈥� not that of your neighbor's or friend's.
Mary Knox Merrill/海角大神/File
Don鈥檛 spend a second worrying about what kind of financial success someone else has achieved. Be happy for them, but don鈥檛 waste even an ounce of your energy using it as a benchmark.
The only benchmark that matters is whether or not you鈥檙e in a better place than you were a year ago.
It doesn鈥檛 matter what stuff your best friend has. If they鈥檙e made happy by the things that they have, that鈥檚 cool.
The only thing that matters is whether or not you get personal fulfillment out of the elements of your life.
Measuring yourself against a standard 鈥� or 鈥渒eeping score鈥� 鈥� is an incredibly powerful way to motivate yourself to improve, but putting that yardstick up against someone else, while potentially motivating in some ways, often gives you a very poor picture of your own success.
When you compare against someone else, you aren鈥檛 just comparing something as narrow as 鈥減ossessions鈥� or 鈥渘et worth.鈥� You鈥檙e comparing so many other factors, many of which you have no control over. You鈥檙e comparing health. You鈥檙e comparing genetics. You鈥檙e comparing families.
The comparison isn鈥檛 fair to either one of you and, honestly, it鈥檚 kind of meaningless.
You can鈥檛 compare your professional success to someone whose brother hired him and helped him climb the corporate ladder.
You can鈥檛 compare your financial success to someone whose parents paid for their full college education and bought their home for them.
You can鈥檛 compare creative success to someone who has been training since age four to be a concert pianist in a home environment that鈥檚 geared around music.
The only comparison that鈥檚 fair is you. With you, all of those things are the same. The person you were a year ago has the same health concerns, the same genetics, the same personal connections, the same career situation, the same family, and the same desires as you have.
The positive changes that have occurred in your life over that last year or those last five years are almost entirely due to your effort.
That effort is the real sign of success, nothing else. If you have put forth consistent effort, you will see progress.
If you want a measuring stick for your progress, it鈥檚 simple. Start keeping track of your own status 鈥� your net worth, your weight, your income, your career status, whatever it is 鈥� right now. Then, in a year or so, start using those older numbers as your measuring stick. Are you moving forward? That鈥檚 the measuring stick that matters.