海角大神

A gracious way to decline hosting a Pampered Chef, Tupperware party

A while back, I wrote about . Recently, a reader wrote to me stating that they wanted to make a 鈥減re-emptive strike鈥� against these kinds of sales pitches, but didn鈥檛 know how to go about it.

Please feel free to copy and paste the following email, edit it as you please, and send it to your friends. Trust me, almost all of them will thank you.

Hey friend,

A while back, one of my other friends invited me to a [Tupperware/Princess House/Pampered Chef/etc.] party at their home. I accepted, because I felt like I was supposed to 鈥� after all, I didn鈥檛 want to let my friend down.

When I got to the party, all of the items at the party were way overpriced and, frankly, I didn鈥檛 want any of them. But my friend was trying so hard to sell the items that I bought one out of guilt. There went $30 down the tubes. The item鈥檚 now gathering dust until I find some excuse to re-gift it to someone else.

The more I thought about this, the more irritated I got. Why should I have to buy stuff I don鈥檛 want just to maintain a friendship? I don鈥檛 think friendships and sales pitches mix.

So let鈥檚 make a deal right now. I鈥檒l never host this kind of party and 鈥渂ank鈥� on our friendship by inviting you to it, so you鈥檒l never have to feel obligated to buy some junk just because we鈥檙e friends. You鈥檒l do the same for me. Deal?

Your friend,

In other words, be straightforward about it. Make it clear that you don鈥檛 want to participate in such parties 鈥� and also make it clear that you won鈥檛 ever utilize your friendship in such a way.

Yes, yes, I鈥檓 sure I鈥檓 going to hear from lots of people who are happy with the items that they bought at such a party. I鈥檓 not writing to you. If you鈥檙e interested in the goods these businesses have to offer, then seek out a party in your area and attend one!

I鈥檓 also not decrying the products sold. Some of the items at these parties are perfectly fine, though I make no claims about them being any sort of bargain.

I鈥檓 also going to hear from people whose friends were glad to have such an opportunity. Perhaps some of your friends did feel this way. However, I鈥檓 willing to bet some of them did not 鈥� they went to your party and made a purchase merely to be polite and that item found its way to a yard sale somewhere. I know many, many people who fall into this latter category.

If you enjoy hosting such parties, that鈥檚 great! Sell to strangers instead of selling to your friends. If your friends are interested when they find out you鈥檙e hosting such events, they鈥檒l ask to attend, but make it clear to them that you don鈥檛 mix your business and your friendships so that they don鈥檛 feel obligated to come. If not, don鈥檛 cash in on the friendship.

My concern is simple: selling to your friends usually diminishes your friendship. They feel obligated to come, and when people start feeling as though a relationship is based on obligations that they don鈥檛 want to fulfill instead of things they鈥檙e happy and excited about, they begin to grow apart and drift away. That鈥檚 never worth the small commission you might get from selling to them.

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