海角大神

'Scarlett Epstein Hates It Here' is full of penetrating insights into teens' lives

This debut novel makes important points about poverty, bullying, and popularity.

Ah, 鈥渟ecret diary鈥� trope, how I love thee! It鈥檚 too fun when writers put their characters鈥� clandestine thoughts on blast. You probably remember it in 鈥淗arriet the Spy,鈥� 鈥淏ridget Jones鈥檚 Diary,鈥� or 鈥�To All The Boys I鈥檝e Loved Before.鈥�

This time, Anna Breslaw forces the titular character of her debut novel,听Scarlett Epstein Hates It Here, to face the music.

Scarlett Epstein really does hate Melville, New Jersey, where she lives in a cramped apartment with her divorcee mother. Her one escape from Melville鈥檚 banality is the TV show 鈥淟ycanthrope High,鈥� about high school werewolves.

Scarlett鈥檚 a BNF (big-name fan) in the show鈥檚 fan community, thanks to her popular fan fiction pieces (鈥渇anfics鈥�). When the network yanks 鈥淟ycanthrope High,鈥� Scarlett and her fellow BNFs are crushed. Determined to preserve the fanverse, they decide to carry the torch with spin-off pieces.

Scarlett鈥檚 new fanfic is a roaring success 鈥� until she鈥檚 caught using her classmates as characters. Among the unlucky few are her longtime crush, Gideon Maclaine, and his babealicious new girlfriend, Ashley. Guess how well that goes over.

So! Laying out the relatable, comical plot arc is the easy part of this review. The hard part will be convincing some readers to pick the book up once they鈥檝e read the following disclaimer:

Caveat emptor! 鈥淪carlett Epstein Hates It Here鈥� contains strong language, pot smoking, drug dealing, underage drinking, academic dishonesty, sensual content, and sex robots.

And yet, here I am, recommending it as one of the better books thus far in 2016. Why?

For starters, it鈥檚 the kind of sharp, witty writing I always applaud. Breslaw鈥檚 humor is biting, vicious, and laugh-into-the-page funny. She captures a teen鈥檚 superlative, emotionally high-strung voice, and the narrative mirrors that jumbled thought-process.

With Breslaw鈥檚 peppery voice, the book is a full-blast exposure to Scarlett鈥檚 mind. What鈥檚 better, we can clearly see that Scarlett鈥檚 perspective doesn鈥檛 always mirror reality. It鈥檚 up to the reader to sift through the scenes and determine what鈥檚 real and what鈥檚 biased. That鈥檚 a literary high-wire act best performed by Jane Austen in 鈥淓mma,鈥� and Breslaw matches her almost step for step.

Take Scarlett鈥檚 withering assessment of 鈥渟howing effort.鈥� We鈥檙e treated to a prime example when she describes her best friend鈥檚 other friends:

鈥淎ve is the only reason I can sit at the lunch table with the Girl Geniuses, a small clique of overachievers who run on Adderall and fear and have gears you can always see turning. No wonder they鈥檙e maladjusted; it鈥檚 uncomfortable seeing people try that hard, you know? Like, we don鈥檛 want to see your gears. Put them away.鈥� Take the shivering mess of Jessicarose Fallon, for instance. This summer her parents sent her on a 鈥榲olunteer鈥� trip to Argentina for a cool $5K so she could write a heart-wrenching college essay about how she ran out of Luna bars on day three.鈥� If you were wondering, I have a shining 2.9 GPA out of ... I guess 4.0? Infinity? Whatever Jessicarose Fallon has.鈥�

Now, contrast that snide superiority with this description of Gideon鈥檚 wealthy family, not three chapters later.

鈥淚 thought about how families like the Maclaines have big empty spaces between one another, while families like me and Dawn are smooshed on top of each other, hearing everything the other one鈥檚 doing, barely being able to breathe our own air. The Maclaines have the latest, sleekest cars and phones. Nothing鈥檚 ever an old model, something straining or squeaking or clicking, nothing about them ever invokes the ultimate embarrassing concept of trying. They have a beautiful silk curtain over the various awkward, rusty embarrassments of being human, and we don鈥檛.鈥�

Within a matter of pages, the idea of 鈥渟howing effort鈥� pivots abruptly from itchy maladjustment to a core quality of humanity itself. Scarlett mocks the Girl Geniuses for showing the hard work behind their success, while she lacerates the Maclaines for hiding their efforts behind a smooth facade.

Scarlett is supremely sure of both assessments, even though they鈥檙e contradictory, and that takes a heady blend of insecurity and overconfidence. She鈥檚 scared of being judged 鈥渓ess than,鈥� resentful of people whom she perceives as 鈥渕ore than,鈥� and deep in the paradox where 鈥淚 know everything鈥� meets 鈥淚 know nothing.鈥�

Much like a wounded animal flails in self-defense, Scarlett鈥檚 acid tongue lashes out at her suburban milieu. Meanwhile, we鈥檙e treated to the constant clickety-clack of her own mental gears churning furiously. She views her own life through a scriptwriter鈥檚 lens and with an editor鈥檚 skepticism.

She ruminates, 鈥淚 wonder if I even know Gideon, or know anyone really. Is this the moment I鈥檓 supposed to realize Gideon鈥檚 actually a s person who just happens to have excellent taste in comedy? Or is this the moment I realize I鈥檓 too judgmental and living in my own weird cerebral universe and have unrealistic standards for boys, or just for life?鈥�

鈥淚t鈥檚 been bothering me more and more that I can鈥檛 ever see anything objectively, that every observation I make is filtered through my personal lens whether I like it or not. I mean, all my favorite novels are like that. F. Scott Fitzgerald basically is Gatsby, so obviously it鈥檚 Gatsby鈥檚 book, and Daisy comes off like a flake. But maybe in Daisy鈥檚 unwritten book, Gatsby is a flashy, patronizing a* who thinks he could win her with money and fancy stuff. And that might be an even better book.鈥�

Essentially, Scarlett鈥檚 trying to find the exact configuration of thought and emotion wherein she feels safe, confident, and in control. Good luck, honey. That鈥檚 a lifelong struggle!

Throughout this pitch-perfect teen tale, Breslaw takes time to tackle classism, both conscious and subconscious. Recurring micro-aggressions between Scarlett and Ashley reflect the girls鈥� finesse in the subtle art of calumny.

鈥淪carlett Epstein Hates It Here鈥� is a novel that people are talking about, and for good reason. It makes important points about poverty, bullying, and popularity. Breslaw also delivers penetrating insights into teens' lives, online and off.

Modern kids face the teeter-totter of 鈥渋nternet vs. real life鈥� every day. Scarlett鈥檚 experience is exactly that, and a book like this forces us to talk about it. Plus, this offers teens a book that accurately reflects their world in form as well as function, while offering an outcome with real hope.

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