海角大神

Simone Biles isn鈥檛 going home with a fistful of gold medals. A mental block聽鈥� one brought on by exhaustion or stress or something the American gymnastics star still can鈥檛 quite grasp聽鈥� that forced her to pull out of four Olympic finals saw to that.

Yet standing on the podium Tuesday, a bronze medal hanging around her neck and tears in her eyes, Ms. Biles may have claimed something far more valuable: a piece of herself back.

From the 鈥渢wisties鈥� that have haunted her for a week. From the endless speculation about her state of mind. From the hype machine聽鈥� one, admittedly, she fed into at times聽鈥� that set expectations so high coming to Tokyo nothing short of the impossible would have been enough.

It all became too much. A week ago, her internal wires got crossed when she hopped on uneven bars during practice. Suddenly, she couldn鈥檛 spin. She could barely move. She still doesn鈥檛 quite know why. And if she鈥檚 being honest, the wires still aren鈥檛 reconnected. She鈥檚 not sure when they will be.

鈥淚t was something that was so out of my control,鈥� Ms. Biles said. 鈥淏ut the outcome I had, at end of the day, my mental and physical health is better than any medal. So I couldn鈥檛 be mad.鈥�

Ms. Biles and coach Cecile Landi adjusted her routine to ease her anxiety, switching out a dismount that required her to twist for one with two simpler backflips instead, a skill she hadn鈥檛 done in competition in 12 years, half a lifetime ago. Even with the degree of difficulty lowered, she earned a 14.000, good enough for third behind Chinese teammates Guan Chenchen and Tang Xijing.

Afterward, she chatted with IOC President Thomas Bach then wiped away tears after accepting her seventh Olympic medal, tied with Shannon Miller for the most by an American gymnast. A wave of relief washed over her following a turbulent eight days that shifted the focus from the Tokyo Games to the mental health of the athletes who compete under the rings.

鈥淲e鈥檙e not just entertainment, we鈥檙e humans,鈥� Ms. Biles said. 鈥淎nd there are things going on behind the scenes that we鈥檙e also trying to juggle with as well, on top of sports.鈥�

Ms. Biles thought she had it under control. Then the Americans finished a surprising second to the Russian team in qualifying. She sensed the weight of the world on her shoulders. During the first vault rotation in the team final, the weight became too much. Shaken, she took herself out of the final three events and watched as her teammates held on for silver.

The decision made her a touchstone of sorts. Yes, there was a lot of support. She felt 鈥渆mbarrassed鈥� when a trip through the Olympic Village included a steady stream of people coming up to tell them how much she meant to them. There was a lot of hate, too, one of the reasons she moved her Twitter app to the back of her phone, hopefully tamping down the temptation to search her mentions.

鈥淚t鈥檚 not good for me right now,鈥� she said.

There was no phone in sight when she appeared on the floor in a red, white, and blue leotard with nearly 5,000 crystals stitched on.

If she was nervous, it hardly showed. She warmed up and then sat on the floor next to teammate and newly minted all-around champion Sunisa Lee to watch highlights from other sports on a large video board.

Her routine was steady, seemingly immune to the whir of dozens of cameras capturing her every move. She made a small hop after landing her double-pike, then saluted the stands. One last bow perhaps, in a career that includes 32 major international medals and a spot atop her sport.

It鈥檚 far too soon to think about Paris.

鈥淚 just need to process this Olympics first,鈥� she said.

While she hasn鈥檛 officially announced her retirement聽鈥� she鈥檚 hinted that she might want to stick around in some fashion until the 2024 Games to honor coaches Laurent and Cecile Landi, who are both French聽鈥� a long layoff awaits. She鈥檚 headlining a post-Olympic tour through the fall. What happens after that is a mystery, even to Ms. Biles.

Two weeks ago, she was a heavy favorite to win four golds. Maybe five. A week ago, her body couldn鈥檛 do what she鈥檇 long trained it to do. Even on Monday, watching others spin their way through their routines made her want to 鈥減uke.鈥�

Tuesday night offered justice of sorts. Five years ago in Rio de Janeiro, she was stunned when her bronze on beam was met with a shrug of the shoulders, proof of the double standard she is held to. She earned another one in Japan under circumstances no one could have envisioned.

鈥淭his one is definitely sweeter,鈥� she said.

Even if it鈥檚 the last.

Ms. Biles receding into the background opened up the door for the teammates who have long competed in her considerable shadow. The 18-year-old Ms. Lee, who finished fifth on the balance beam, won the Olympic all-around title. She ended up with three medals in Tokyo, including silver in the team final and bronze on uneven bars.

Ms. Lee became the fifth straight American woman to capture the all-around title. MyKayla Skinner, placed into the vault final after Ms. Biles scratched, soared to silver. On Monday, Jade Carey鈥檚 long journey to the Olympics ended with a victory on floor exercise after Ms. Biles gave her a pep talk following a nightmarish vault performance in which she tripped at the end of the runway and narrowly avoided serious injury.

It wasn鈥檛 the role Ms. Biles expected to fill when she arrived. She did it anyway, repaying those who have spent the last eight years doing the same for her. Asked if there was anything she would change about her experience in Japan, she shook her head.

鈥淣othing,鈥� she said. 鈥淚 would change nothing.鈥�

This story was reported by The Associated Press.