海角大神

Believe it or not, Donald Trump is sounding more and more like somebody who might actually run for president. As opposed to someone who is just talking up running for president as a means to boost ratings for 鈥�Celebrity Apprentice.鈥�

In a Fox News interview a few days ago he noted that 鈥渁 lot of people would be very upset if I didn鈥檛 run.鈥� Plus, he keeps talking about how he鈥檒l announce his intentions after 鈥淐elebrity Apprentice鈥� ends its season, because if he said anything earlier he鈥檇 have to put the show in a blind trust, or something like that. This implies that he is going to run, because if he isn鈥檛, he could say so anytime he wants.

鈥淚n my own mind, I think I鈥檝e made the decision. I feel this country is just a disaster,鈥� he said on Fox.

Anyway, if he鈥檚 really going to run, he鈥檚 going to need positions on the big issues of the day. And right now the biggest worry for average Americans is gas prices. What would President Trump do about the high cost of oil?

That鈥檚 easy 鈥� with his billions he鈥檇 buy every voter in the US a Ford Fusion hybrid. Demand would drop, prices would sag, and Detroit would boom, all without any kind of federal buyout. Winning!

Actually he鈥檚 proposed nothing of the sort 鈥� we just made that up. But Trump has talked a bit about gas policy in recent days.

If the economy is to get back on track, oil has to drop to between $40 and $60 per barrel, Trump said Monday during his weekly appearance on 鈥�Fox and Friends.鈥�

鈥淩ight now it looks like it鈥檚 going up to $150 dollars [per barrel]. We could never come back if oil is at those levels,鈥� said Trump.

Wow, that鈥檚 a big swing he鈥檚 talking about. How to get prices low again?

Trump has a developing multipoint policy here. First, he says we should yell at OPEC, which (according to Trump) is laughing at us while they raise prices and push us to get tangled up in Libya.

鈥淚鈥檓 all for attacking oil companies but why isn鈥檛 [Obama] attacking OPEC?鈥� Trump said Monday. 鈥淏ecause OPEC, it all starts there.鈥�

Second, we should drill. A lot.

鈥淭his is crazy. They can鈥檛 drill in the Gulf, they can鈥檛 drill in Alaska, they can鈥檛 drill anywhere, and in the meantime we鈥檙e just being held hostage by all of these foreign nations that are just ripping us,鈥� Trump said.

Well, what about that little BP oil spill thing? Aren鈥檛 there valid concerns about whether drilling is the best thing for the environment or not?

鈥淚 understand the environment, I have received many, many environmental awards, but they are making it impossible for us to do anything,鈥� said Trump.

We鈥檙e pretty sure that 鈥渢hey鈥� in the above quote refers to environmentalists. But it could be OPEC 鈥� The Donald鈥檚 rhetoric can jump quickly from one subject to the other.

Finally, Trump has also talked about simply seizing Iraq鈥檚 oil fields. That would raise, um, touchy geopolitical/military questions, Also, Iraq is a member of OPEC. If we take their oil fields, wouldn鈥檛 that make the US a member of OPEC, too? Then we would be the cause of our own petroleum-based distress (see 鈥測ell at OPEC,鈥� above.)

For a Trump administration, that Fusion-hybrid-in-every-garage idea might look better and better after their weigh their options. For the record, we鈥檇 prefer ours in flame metallic blue.