No birth certificate? Is 'Donald Trump' a real person?
Developer/reality show star Donald Trump yesterday released his birth certificate to prove he was born in the United States. Except it wasn鈥檛 his birth certificate 鈥� it was a birth document from a Queens hospital that is less than official, apparently.
Oops. Is now a good time to ask how that possible presidential race is shaping up, Mr. Trump?
Anyway, this whole thing is an issue (or an issuelette, maybe, since we鈥檙e not exactly talking Libya) only because Trump has been raising questions about whether President Obama was born in the US.
On Monday Trump said on Fox News that he is 鈥渞eally concerned鈥� about Obama鈥檚 citizenship status. It is 鈥渋nconceivable鈥�, he said, that after all this time Obama hasn鈥檛 released his birth certificate.
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Perhaps it is inconceivable because the Obama campaign released his certificate of live birth in 2008, as well as birth announcements printed in Hawaii newspapers. But Trump 鈥� and the 鈥渂irther鈥� movement as a whole 鈥� appear to simply wave this evidence away.
Trump鈥檚 release of his own, well, whatever it is seemed an attempt to prove something, though we鈥檙e not sure what. Is it possible that Trump himself wasn鈥檛 born in the US? That鈥檚 what some pundits are pretending to think, because all the news has been serious lately and they鈥檙e looking for something to cheer themselves up.
鈥淭rump鈥檚 mother, it should be noted, was born in Scotland, which is not part of the United States. His plane is registered in the Bahamas, also a foreign country. This fact pattern 鈥� along with a wave of new questions surrounding what he claims is a birth certificate 鈥� raises serious doubts about his eligibility to serve as President of the United States,鈥� wrote .
We salute Mr. Smith, and go him one better. Is it possible that Trump cannot produce a valid birth certificate because he does not exist?
Have you ever met Trump? No, you haven鈥檛. You鈥檝e seen him as an assemblage of glowing pixels on a screen. That proves nothing. Homer Simpson is made up of pixels too. This indicates that Trump may be an animation 鈥揳n animation drawn by artists in a foreign country, we might add.
Trump could disprove this by jetting around the country and introducing himself to every US voter in person. Though even then, 鈥淒onald Trump鈥� could be a clever performance artist inhabiting a role, like Stephen Colbert. (Which would be cool 鈥� admit it.)
Enough of this donaldfoolery already. We know Trump is a real person. Trump鈥檚 lawyer and advisor Michael Cohen, by CBS News, noted the fairly obvious fact that nobody is going to question whether Donald Trump was born in New York City.
What other metropolis could have bred somebody like him? Minneapolis/St. Paul?
鈥淚f he is asked to produce a raised seal New York City Department of Health birth certificate, I鈥檓 pretty sure he can have one in as quick a period of time as you can go down and get it,鈥� Cohen told CBS.
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