海角大神

I needed a better job. My four years at university had earned me double degrees in theater and philosophy and a full-time job as a janitor.聽

Riding an electric floor-
buffing machine through the local mall at 7 a.m. was fun for the first month, but decreasingly so over the next five, until I was so bored that my boss took notice and fired me.

My family and I lived in Norway when I was 3 and 4 years old, but I grew up in California. By the end of college, I could feel the Norwegian language and culture fading.

My brother decided to move back to Norway during my final year of college, and after I graduated, I followed him. He signed me up with a temp agency, which got me the job as a janitor.

Now I鈥檇 have to go back to the agency, having been fired for being incompetent at cleaning toilets, and hope they could find me something new.

Walking home, I saw a 鈥渉elp wanted鈥� sign at a concert venue. I called the number and lined up an interview for the next day. There was only one problem: I didn鈥檛 know what the job was.

鈥淲hat鈥檚 a sivilarbeider?鈥� I asked my brother. He didn鈥檛 know either. Arbeider means 鈥渨orker,鈥� so lots of jobs are titled something-worker.

鈥淏ut it doesn鈥檛 matter,鈥� he told me. 鈥淛ust say 鈥榶es鈥� to whatever they ask.鈥� My brother thinks he鈥檚 smart enough to learn anything on the fly, and I wanted to be like my brother.

I went to the interview the next day. The second question was, when was I eligible for my siviltjeneste? I considered making up a date, but that seemed risky.

鈥淚 don鈥檛 actually have a siviltjeneste yet,鈥� I said, 鈥渂ut I鈥檓 sure I can get one.鈥澛�

The interviewer was confused but cordial and firm: I couldn鈥檛 get the job without one.聽

I made sure the interviewer understood how qualified and enthusiastic I was to work for him before asking, 鈥淗ow do I get a siviltjeneste?鈥�

I ran home and immediately called the number the interviewer had given me. The woman at the other end of the line seemed happy to discover that I absolutely was eligible. Forms would be sent to me right away to fill out.聽

I hung up feeling optimistic. I didn鈥檛 know what she was going to send me or even who I鈥檇 just spoken to. But anything was better than mopping floors. I had to get this job.

A few days later, a large envelope arrived, but it said nothing about a siviltjeneste. It had a photo of people in green fatigues working together. Inside were brochures, written in legalese. I couldn鈥檛 understand much, but it seemed important. I took the packet with me when I visited my grandmother later that day.

鈥淭his came for you?鈥� she asked.

鈥渊别蝉.鈥�

鈥淒o you know what this is?鈥�

鈥淣o, Grandma. Is it an ad for the Army? Can I throw it away?鈥�

鈥淣o, you can鈥檛 throw it away! How did you get this?鈥�

I told her about the job as a sivilarbeider, how I鈥檇 called to find out about it, and how, a few days later, this had arrived. 鈥淏ut it can鈥檛 be related,鈥� I said.

鈥淥h, sweetheart,鈥� she laughed. 鈥淵ou got yourself drafted.鈥� She then laughed so hard she started coughing.聽

All Norwegian men are drafted when they turn 18. They have the option to do siviltjeneste, or civilian service, instead. I had been in California when I turned 18, so I hadn鈥檛 been called to serve. Now I鈥檇 returned to Norway, called the government, and asked them to draft me.聽

My grandma was almost in hysterics.

Six months later, I flew to Molde, Norway, to take part in a weekend camp for conscientious objectors like myself to learn the duties of civilian service. Forty or so 18-year-olds and I were taught how to behave like mature adults. Most of them would become teachers鈥� aides in elementary schools across the country.

I searched for more compelling work. I was disappointed to find that the concert venue job had been filled long ago. But being one of the oldest sivilarbeidere in the country, I was better qualified for the few jobs that demanded more than the ability to follow orders.聽

Eventually I was hired to run the day-to-day operations of a community club that taught budding filmmakers how to make movies. In 4-1/2 years of living in Norway, it would be the best job I鈥檇 have.