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Tots and pot: When to warn kids?

One mom is starting the anti-drug chat with her daughter 鈥 really early. Thinking a decade or so in advance, this mom tackles a parenting topic likely to shift a lot more in US culture before her daughter even hits her teens. 

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Brennan Linsley/AP/FILE
In this file photo, marijuana is displayed at the River Rock dispensary in Denver on Oct. 23, 2013.

Colorado and Washington legalized marijuana more than a year ago, and at least 14 states have legalization initiatives on聽.

In Massachusetts, where I live, possessing a small amount of marijuana has been legal since 2008, and using it for medical reasons was legalized in 2012.

In fact, a medical marijuana dispensary will be opening in my neighborhood, in the Boston suburb of Newton, Mass., later this year.

It鈥檚 on one of my daily walking routes, only 0.8 miles away from my home, right by my local Whole Foods store, where I sometimes swing by to grab a slice of broccoli and goat cheese pizza.聽

In general, I have no disputes with the dispensary, at this point. What I am more concerned about, as a mom, is what potentially could come next 鈥 the more widespread legalization of marijuana for recreational use.聽

While my daughter is just a baby right now, I鈥檓 already thinking ahead about what pressures she will face as she grows up, particularly as a teen. In 10 or 15 years, will that dispensary be offering pot for recreational use, too? The possibility makes me cringe.聽

The effects of marijuana have long been聽, including affected judgement, decreased ability to focus, and slower reaction time. When the drug wears off, users have reported feeling anxious, depressed, or sleepy. Legal or not, it鈥檚 not something I want my daughter to use, especially as a teen, when her developing sense of the world could聽lead to misperceptions聽about the safety of drug use.

It seems to me that if it becomes legal for broader recreational use around the US 鈥 even with age limits 鈥 she could easily say to me, "If it were that bad, it would be illegal.鈥澛

It's hard, though not impossible, to argue with that stance.

鈥淏esides,鈥 I can imagine her saying, hand poised defiantly on her hip, 鈥渋f it were that bad, why would the Girl Scouts 产别听聽in front of dispensaries?鈥澛

Yikes. How will I respond? I鈥檒l just try to speak from my heart, being careful to listen to her point of view as well, taking into account that she鈥檚 growing up in a totally different time and place than I did.聽

I鈥檒l try not to be shrill when I respond, though it鈥檒l be hard. This look into my future already has me sweating, and puts all my worry about teething, night weaning, and such things into perspective.聽

So, perhaps I will tell her something like this: most important, I always want her to be clear-headed and in control.聽

Avoiding drugs and alcohol is one key way she can stay in charge of her own actions and be a lot healthier, too. I鈥檓 sure her schedule will be packed with studying, going to dances (she already adores dancing as an 11 month old), and perhaps playing a sport (track? She really books it when she crawls across a room).聽

Hopefully, drugs and alcohol won鈥檛 even enter the equation, but if she鈥檚 like most teens, the question will come up at some point. And I want to chat with her about the risks before it comes up with her friends, who might tell her, 鈥淛ust try it, it鈥檚 OK, nothing bad will happen. Come on, everyone is doing it! Don鈥檛 be so lame.鈥澛

What will she reply? I hope she鈥檒l remember what her mom said and say, 鈥淣o thanks, I鈥檓 good.鈥 Perhaps a friend or two will say no, too.聽

Talking things through really helps kids be more aware of the potential consequences of drug and alcohol use, and how to stand up to peer pressure.聽According to聽, teens who consistently learn about the risks of using drugs from their own parents are 鈥渦p to 50 percent less likely to use drugs鈥 than those teens who don't.聽They know they鈥檙e not alone 鈥 their parents are looking out for them. And even when they say we鈥檙e boring and old-fashioned, at least their mental wheels will be turning so they can make thought-through decisions.聽

With lots of love, support, and a healthy dose of discipline, our kids will make it through adolescence. First, though, she鈥檚 got to learn how to walk, eat with utensils, and sleep through the night. We鈥檙e just taking this one step at a time.聽

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