海角大神

Last week, I got out of my comfort zone by making a traditional Mexican dish called 鈥�pollo en adobo.鈥� I did my research on YouTube, inherited some spices from my mother-in-law鈥檚 capable hands, and assembled all the necessary ingredients.

Finally, I had prepared a traditional Mexican meal for my husband after meeting him nearly five years ago.

I must鈥檝e watched the YouTube recipe video at least ten times, making sure I was doing every little step exactly right. As my timer ticked down for the last couple minutes that the chicken and sauce needed to simmer, I realized I was so nervous I was sweating.聽

When the dish made it to the table, my husband lifted the spoon to his lips, took a sip, and smiled.

I had never attempted to make authentic Mexican food before now because 鈥� as weird as it may sound 鈥� I鈥檓 white. As in, basic meat and potatoes culinary skills, turns lobster-red after a day at the beach (no matter how much sunscreen I put on), kind of white.聽聽

I just figured that I couldn鈥檛 possibly make real Mexican food without somehow screwing it up. I know, it鈥檚 irrational, but that鈥檚 how I felt.聽

What inspired me to take a shot at it? Thinking about our daughter. I realized that if I was going to limit myself to only cooking typical American dishes I was most familiar with, I would be setting a bad example for her. I want her to feel infinitely capable of making any kind of food she wants from both sides of her family.聽

Having the opportunity to deeply explore another culture鈥檚 gastronomy is one of the best perks of my interracial marriage. It鈥檚 surprising to think that just two or three generations ago, interracial marriage was illegal in some states, until the 1967 Supreme Court decision聽Loving v. Virginia聽nullified all laws prohibiting it.聽

Now, interracial marriage is becoming more and more common in the United States. A study published in 2012 found that 8.4 percent of all marriages in the US are interracial, making that about 1 in every 12 couples, up from only 3.2 precent in 1980.

But still, interracial marriage remains a controversial issue. Just last May, there was intense backlash on YouTube and other websites when Cheerios aired its commercial featuring a family that had a white mom and black dad. The follow-up ad聽depicting the same family聽ran during the Super Bowl, and also prompted many racist comments on Twitter and other social media platforms.

A recent聽聽titled 鈥淲hy I Can鈥檛 Be My Son鈥檚 Mother鈥� shared actress mom Shannon Shelton Miller鈥檚 struggles with never being cast in commercials as the mom of her son, since he has whiter skin that she does.聽

According to Ms. Shelton Miller, 鈥淐orporations will happily cast a rainbow of Caucasian, Hispanic, Asian, and African-American actors for their commercials in the name of diversity, but they're rarely cast together. I seethed last year when I read one casting call for a major retailer requesting "real" Caucasian and African-American families, and then, in capital letters in the next sentence: 鈥楴O MIXED FAMILIES.鈥� 鈥澛�

While America has come a long way in embracing a diverse range of skin tones, there鈥檚 still a pronounced stigma against mixed families.聽

I鈥檝e experienced both ends of the spectrum. My mixed family has been stared at many times, waiters have asked if we wanted separate checks, and airline ticket counter attendants have told me to go wait my turn when I approach the counter with my husband, not realizing that we鈥檙e together.聽

We鈥檝e also been treated with a level of normalcy that is refreshing, especially among our peers. A friend over for dinner recently remarked, 鈥淏abies from mixed parents are so beautiful and well-behaved. I think having to balance two cultures makes them more flexible, too.鈥澛�

Balancing two cultures helps kids realize that they can鈥檛 be smushed into a limited box, and neither can anyone else 鈥� we all have a diverse background and range of experiences that shape who we are.聽

We are all better off when there's more diversity in society, which includes interracial marriages. As it gets more difficult to answer the question 鈥淲hat鈥檚 your background?" we become more alike because we realize we are all from mixed backgrounds.聽

If my daughter is asked to answer that question, she will have a long list of countries to remember, including: Mexico, Ireland, Poland, Spain, France, and England as part of her ancestral roots. Most importantly, she will be able to state that she is from the United States of America.聽

Like Coca-Cola's Super Bowl ad titled 鈥�It鈥檚 Beautiful鈥� pointed out, America is beautiful largely because of its diversity. And not diversity that can be organized into neat little boxes, but diversity that includes diversity within it, constantly challenging what assumptions we come to adopt. When those assumptions are left behind, compassion begins.