海角大神

All the holiday听shopping going on this month reminds me of my most memorable saleslady. And she wasn鈥檛 even helping me. She was helping someone in the next dressing room at Nordstrom. I simply overheard her. The customer came in for a bra, but went away with much more.

To begin with, the customer sounded none too happy with her looks. She felt that she had a little too much figure going on, and a few too many miles on it. Her saleswoman, I鈥檇 later see, was of a similarly generous age and size, and was much more confident about the beauty possibilities of her charge.

I sensed that the saleswoman went through her motions more slowly than usual, in deference to her clearly anxious customer.

鈥淚鈥檓 going to have to measure you.鈥� 鈥淎nd what do you want to wear this with?鈥� 鈥淥k, now let鈥檚 lift your arm鈥� 鈥淧erfect.鈥� 鈥淣o, it鈥檚 ok, take your time.鈥� As the saleswoman directed her charge to remove this and to move that, it became clear why the nerves.听听

The customer 鈥� I almost want to say 鈥渢he patient鈥� 鈥� said she was going to her son鈥檚 wedding. Alone. Not only that, the wedding was in a place she鈥檇 never been, 1,500听miles away, with a bride she barely knew, a family she鈥檇 never met. Not only that, she鈥檇 resigned herself to the ultimate humiliation: looking frumpy.听

Sending a child off in marriage in the best of circumstances is traumatic;听a role life little prepares us for. Trying to meld the etiquette of our mothers with the 鈥渙h mom鈥� sensibilities of our children leaves parents in a no-man's听land. Put yourself 1,500听miles away from your own turf and who knows what additional humiliation awaits? You could go over on your heel. You could get a crying jag. You could have lipstick on your teeth in all the photos because no one told you.

Given the mix of circumstances, this lady was a peripheral, at best, member of the wedding, and she knew and felt it. But her bra saleswoman was slowly fixing that. As her charge worried and whimpered, the saleswoman鈥檚 businesslike, can-do spirit insisted 鈥渟tick with me.鈥�

鈥淗old still鈥�Try this鈥�Let me tighten something鈥�No this is not it...We鈥檙e going to find it...Trust me...Here: Do you see what this does for you?鈥澨�By the end of the standing back, straightening, and smoothing, you could almost hear their smiles. They had a winner. It would anchor the mother-of-the-groom鈥檚 figure, but more than that, it would anchor her confidence, enable her to claim her rightful place in the upcoming events.听Both of them knew that if you were going into such a situation feeling like you looked great it could blunt your fears considerably. 鈥淵es,鈥� the saleswoman had shown her: 鈥淵ou can do this鈥� the 鈥渢his鈥� having more to do with giving away her son in marriage than with lingerie, of course.

Nordstrom, for its part, says they make sure bra fitters are certified, but offers no training in emotional care and feeding of customers. 鈥淲e try to hire nice people 鈥� and then we get out of their way,鈥� leaving them to do what they feel is best, says spokesman Colin Johnson. 听

Maybe the mother of the groom never thought about her saleswoman again. And I doubt that the saleswoman goes to work every morning thinking,听鈥淚鈥檓 going to do some emotional first aid today.鈥�

She probably doesn鈥檛 see herself as part of a great cadre of people out in the world who, just by going about their jobs, do a lot of ministering to the anxious and the weary. But surely such little dramas of goodness take place everywhere, every day, even during this busy season. Merry Christmas to all in the helping professions.