海角大神

"Reflecting on a cellphone app developer鈥檚 claim, I鈥檓 thinking that tracking our kids鈥� movements, moment by moment, isn鈥檛 the best way to enhance 鈥渇amily awareness.鈥� Those are the words of Chris Hull, CEO of the company that developed the Life360 tracking app, in an interview for聽. Is that 鈥渁wareness鈥� as in 鈥渟urveillance鈥�? Oddly, Time interpreted Hull鈥檚 reference to family awareness as 鈥渇amilial communication,鈥� a stretch the app marketer doesn鈥檛 even make.

Here鈥檚 what Canada鈥檚 premier media-literacy organization, MediaSmarts.ca in Ottawa, found in its research about digital-age 鈥渇amily awareness鈥�:

鈥淭he parents we spoke with were beleaguered by fear of danger and exhausted from the burden of constant vigilance. Although the exact nature of [the] danger is poorly defined, many parents told us that surveillance is now equated with good parenting, and that the days of trusting their children and providing them with space to explore the world and make mistakes are long gone鈥� (linked to聽). I so agree with MediaSmarts.ca鈥檚 co-director Jane Tallim that surveillance 鈥渞uns counter to the mutual trust, confidence and communication between parents and their kids that is so essential to helping children develop the skills they need for digital life.鈥� That鈥檚 the foundation for safety that lasts way beyond childhood.

What about a call or text?

Sure there are times, such as after a natural disaster (Life360鈥瞫 developers invoke Hurricane Katrina in their corporate story) or if someone鈥檚 being stalked, when family members need to keep track of each other. But most of the time, is it not enough to call or text? What kind of message are we sending our kids when tracking their every move? How do they respond?

础肠迟耻补濒濒测,听聽that constant monitoring can have the opposite effect parents are seeking: 鈥淭he teenagers who did share the details of their lives with their parents were the ones who were not routinely monitored. Trust in this case was mutual,鈥� indicating that 鈥渕onitoring alone may work against open family dialogue.鈥� So it鈥檚 a balance we need to strike. I love the way media professor and parent聽: We need to watch their backs, not look over their shoulders.

Finding the right balance is never easy, but it鈥檚 good to know that constant tracking hardly helps us find and maintain it. And if the motivation is fear, what impact does that have? It could make a child more fearful or send the message that it鈥檚 okay to let fear rule. It could also reduce our credibility and parent-child communication (if the child feels the fear is irrelevant or overwrought) and send a kid into stealth mode or into seeking workarounds, which is all too easy online and with portable, pocket-size devices. And, of course, delivers exactly what marketers of surveillance tools are looking for: a bigger market.

Software or parenting?

The Time article lists half a dozen other child-tracking apps for parents who prefer constant silent tracking to giving their kid a call or tapping out a quick text. Some also record every text a child types or just lock a kid鈥檚 phone down so he or she can鈥檛 use it.

A newer app not listed in the Time article 鈥撀犅犫�� can lock a kid鈥檚 phone when it senses that child and phone are moving faster than 10 miles per hour, a way to ensure teens aren鈥檛 texting while driving. That鈥檚 fine, but it can also be a little clumsy, because the feature could lock a kid鈥檚 phone when he or she is a passenger in a car someone else is driving, too 鈥� even a parent. Which means the parent should pull over to use her phone to unlock the kid鈥檚! Kind of kidding, but there are good features in MMGuardian, including the one that turns off phones at bedtime so kids get their sleep and the ability to locate a lost phone and lock it so no one else can use it. Other features coming soon to MMGuardian (only on Android phones for now) will allow parents to manage kids鈥� contact list and detect what apps they鈥檝e downloaded.

But I still maintain that most parents don鈥檛 really need software to parent.

Related links

• Anyway, as author and parent Michael Levin points out in the聽, what kids are doing online is mostly good.
• Think about this in the context of (acting from or using fear in) parenting: A聽聽from the University of Toronto鈥檚 Center for Health Promotion that tells when fear does and doesn鈥檛 change behavior (i.e., increase safety). Very basically, a fear appeal works when two things are present:聽relevance听补苍诲听efficacy聽(when the listener sees its relevance to him personally and feels able to do something about it). When those are聽not聽present, he moves from 鈥渄anger control鈥� (behavior change) to 鈥渇ear control鈥�: denying he鈥檚 at risk; avoiding or mocking the message; or becoming angry at the source of the message (e.g., a parent) or the issue. This is why it鈥檚 so important that we try to understand or be informed about our children鈥檚 experiences with tech (relevance) and give them a sense of agency and efficacy (see聽聽about that). [Thanks to my ConnectSafely.org co-director Larry Magid for pointing this paper out in聽.]
• My thanks to Amy Jussel of聽聽for pointing the Time piece out 鈥� I鈥檒l add a link here as soon as she posts about this.

海角大神 has assembled a diverse group of the best family and parenting bloggers out there. Our contributing and guest bloggers are not employed or directed by the Monitor, and the views expressed are the bloggers' own, as is responsibility for the content of their blogs.