海角大神

Part 12 of Gretchen Belsie鈥檚聽account of her trip聽with husband聽Laurent聽and their first adopted Chinese daughter 鈥� 10-year-old Grace 鈥� as they head to meet and bring home 7-year-old Madeleine Bao Yi.

The Chinese have a lovely expression that translates as 鈥渟ibling鈥� 鈥� 鈥渟hou zu鈥� (pronounced show-zoo) literally means 鈥渉and and foot.鈥� Siblings will walk the road of life together, side-by-side, holding hands and synchronizing their steps. That image is a comfort to me as a parent.

Late last night, I bent over the bed for one last check on our daughters and realized that I could not match up the tangle of body parts. Grace decided to use Madeleine Bao Yi鈥檚 head as a pillow but little sister didn鈥檛 seem to notice. At least they synchronized their snoring. 聽

I鈥檓 so glad we鈥檝e been able to give Grace a sister. She was such a content only child, but in the last week new dimensions of her character have emerged. She thinks and plans ahead for two now, gathering what she thinks Bao Yi will need in her backpack for an outing. She tries to keep the mounting tide of hair elastics and colored pencils under control. Yes, Grace can be bossy at times, but as a counterpoint to infrequent headstrong eruptions from Bao Yi. All in all, she鈥檚 shown herself to be pretty tolerant 鈥� and definitely nurturing.

As for Bao Yi, she took a bold step forward today in acknowledging her new family. Grace asked her 鈥淒o you know Mama loves you?鈥� She answered, 鈥淵es, I know that.鈥�

I coasted on that for the rest of the day. 聽

We spent the morning touring the four-story Guangdong Provincial Museum of Culture and History in the new skyscraper section of聽Guangzhou. Though, we only really saw two floors because of the large group. Still, it was a fascinating journey through centuries of Chinese history.

The Chinese regard learning as 鈥減utting knowledge in the belly.鈥� We got a much broader sense of history and culture at the museum, but you can also pick up a lot of relevant insights into contemporary Chinese life while wending your way through the maze of downtown highways in a taupe mini-bus. Simon has worked for 14 years in international adoption as a facilitator for our agency and has seen the dynamics change radically.

According to him, from 1997-2007, nearly 70,000 healthy Chinese baby girls were adopted and moved to the US and other countries abroad.聽That鈥檚 an average of 7,000 per year, with a wait time that was minimal compared to the current protracted paperwork maze. (We waited for 14 months for Grace after our dossier had landed in聽China. Adopting families today can expect to wait up to five and a half years for a healthy baby unless they opt for a designated 鈥渟pecial needs鈥� child. Then, the process speeds up considerably.) That decade marked the end of the golden era of Chinese adoptions, and the future is unclear.

Laurent asked about the demographic imbalance that has resulted from this sustained exodus of young females from聽China. Most countries statistically report 97 males to every 100 females in the general population, but聽China鈥檚 figures show 107 males to every 90 females. The gap will be hard to close in the future when this generation comes to marriageable age.

Once our museum session was declared 鈥渃ompleted,鈥� Simon took the group to a Japanese-style restaurant for a rousing eight-course lunch. For a mere 30 yuan per person 鈥� the equivalent of $5 鈥� we feasted on egg drop soup with tomato bits, chicken and onions, seared beef, two types of fish, garlic grilled tofu, fried rice, and a topper of sizzled bok choy.

Given the size of the lunch, no one was much interested in dinner this evening, even after a long cooling-off session in the swimming pool. We threw caution to the wind for supper and ate sliced apples in the room, followed by ice cream chasers from a nearby 7-11.

We have an early call tomorrow morning at 8:30 at the US Consulate on Shamian聽Island聽for the children鈥檚 citizenship ceremony. Shen Bao Yi will become Madeleine Isabel Bao Yi Belsie, newly minted American. It鈥檚 a wonderfully poignant moment, but one that is also bittersweet to me. By week鈥檚 end, she鈥檒l leave her homeland and culture to be transported 7,000 miles away and transplanted in metro Boston, where undoubtedly she鈥檒l bloom. Knowing Bao Yi, she鈥檒l carry her Chinese identity with her always and hopefully become a true East-West girl.

It鈥檚 funny how Grace wanted to be sure we knew the Chinese for 鈥淜eep up the pace!鈥� before we set out on this adventure. She was so concerned about losing her new sister on the busy streets of聽Guangzhou. The more useful phrase we have learned is 鈥淏ao Yi, wait!鈥� It鈥檚 not always effective, but that鈥檚 OK.

For Madeleine Belsie, I suspect the game plan will be 鈥淲atch out,聽America. Here I come!鈥�