Jami Attenberg models a long but tenacious journey toward writing
Novelist Jami Attenberg鈥檚 midlife memoir isn鈥檛 exactly a victory lap, but it鈥檚 written from a place of hard-won contentment after years of struggle. Among other things, 鈥淚 Came All This Way to Meet You,鈥� an account of how Attenberg became a full-time writer, is a paean to persistence.聽
It is also the kind of book that will interest some people very much 鈥� especially aspiring writers. Others, to whom her work is less familiar, perhaps not so much.聽聽
Attenberg joins a growing contingent of established novelists who have shared their early literary travails. Most recently, these include Lily King in her partly autobiographical novel 鈥淲riters and Lovers鈥� (2020), and Ann Patchett in some essays in 鈥淭hese Precious Days鈥� (2021). Such tales can be reassuring to those starting out.
Attenberg is probably best known for her breakthrough fourth novel, 鈥淭he Middlesteins鈥� (2004), which centers on a woman addicted to food. Less known is the fact that, in a blow that might have proven fatal to many writers鈥� careers, 鈥淭he Middlesteins鈥� was rejected by the publisher of her first three books. Attenberg鈥檚 subsequent novels 鈥� including her most recent, 鈥淎ll This Could Be Yours鈥� (2019), about the damage that a nasty narcissist inflicts on his family 鈥� have secured her place as a master of the sardonically twisted yet moving family saga.聽
Just as Attenberg鈥檚 readers have expressed surprise that she isn鈥檛 overweight like her character Edie Middlestein, they may be surprised to learn that she comes from a close, loving family in the Chicago area. Her father, an outgoing salesman, taught her that 鈥淚f you can sell one thing, you can sell anything鈥� 鈥� appliances, widgets, books. Her mother introduced her to 鈥渢he joys of reading and creativity鈥� and nourished the belief that 鈥淚 could accomplish anything I wanted no matter my gender.鈥� Before they retired to Florida, her parents ran a sewing store together called Prints Charming.
鈥淚 Came All This Way to Meet You鈥� is generally warmer and more confessional than Attenberg鈥檚 novels but shares with her fiction a tendency to jump around in time. While in her novels these chronological leaps add layering and foreshadowing, here they lead to sometimes disorienting or bothersome repetitions.聽聽
Attenberg begins with great brio: 鈥淔or 20 years, I hustled,鈥� she writes, and sprays us with a shower of past tense verbs, describing what she did: 鈥淚 ran the cash register at a pharmacy. I counted pills. I sold lottery tickets 鈥� I waitressed 鈥� I temped. I filed. I answered phones. I typed up letters.鈥澛�
Although not as spirited as Helen Ellis鈥� 鈥淚 casserole. I pinwheel. I toothpick鈥� in 鈥淎merican Housewife,鈥� (which was the breakthrough book that restarted Ellis鈥� stalled career), Attenberg effectively captures the battery of odd jobs that eventually led to writing-adjacent work 鈥� spellchecking, copyediting, copywriting, and later, employment for a cable network she doesn鈥檛 name, where men created all the shows. (A Google search points to HBO.) She comments, 鈥淚 wasn鈥檛 totally wasting my life,鈥� though she memorably calls the uninteresting writing she did for most of these jobs 鈥渁 decoration on the page, the baby鈥檚 breath of corporate America.鈥澛犅�
When she figured out that what she really wanted was to write her own stuff,聽 鈥淓verything got easier, in a way 鈥� even as things got much, much harder.鈥� She began to write, she says, not with ease but with diligence, determination, focus, and 鈥済reat delight.鈥� She adds, 鈥淚 leaned into my eccentricities鈥� 鈥� even if it meant penury and couch-surfing. She notes that the year she was 40 (10 years ago), she slept in 26 locations in seven months.聽
鈥淭he writing filled me like nothing else had. But it also poked holes in me, and that was where the sadness came out,鈥� she writes. Still, she came to relish what she calls 鈥渢he safety of a sentence.鈥澛�
Safe from what? Eventually, we learn about her wounds 鈥� including the lasting repercussions of an assault by a fellow writing student during her freshman year at college.聽
Attenberg understands that being a writer involves salesmanship, which takes her 鈥� and this narrative 鈥� on book tours, both domestic and abroad. She makes a friend who shares her fascination with ossuaries and 鈥渟eemed to wear her insides on her outside, just like me.鈥� She moves from New York to New Orleans, and delights in the contrasts 鈥� along with a guest room in which to host friends. While some of her travelogues feel like filler material, she鈥檚 come a long way, and is eager to share her route.
