Man With a Pan
Some men take up cooking when takeout isn鈥檛 available or restaurants bust their budgets. Others seize spatulas when their wives go back to work, or are tied down by nursing infants. Most say that barbecuing makes them feel macho, but that regularly manning the stove improves their home lives 鈥� and their intimate relationships with their wives.
John Donohue, a New Yorker editor and cartoonist, cooked long before parenthood 鈥� because he loved food and was always hungry. When his daughters came along 鈥� with the accompanying exhaustion, loss of discretionary time and funds, and household tensions 鈥� he 鈥渄ucked into the kitchen ... and came out a conquering hero.鈥�
Noticing that he鈥檚 part of a growing phenomenon, Donohue rounded up a full pantry of writers, chefs, and cooking dads to contribute to Man With a Pan, an entertaining stir-fry of essays, anecdotes, recipes and cookbook recommendations. Fathers, he notes, 鈥渘ow account for nearly a third of the time a family spends cooking. In 1965, that figure was only five percent.鈥�
Needless to say, things have not yet changed so drastically that a book about mothers who cook would be noteworthy. It should also be pointed out that quantifying gender divides in home cooking in terms of time expended rather than percentage of meals produced is potentially misleading. Could it be that men鈥檚 culinary output is still disproportionately skewed to breakfasts, barbecues, weekends, and vacations? (My father, who considered reheating prepared food in a microwave to be cooking, had a single, signature, weekend-only dish: a scramble of bagels, eggs, ham and cheese we called Daddy鈥檚 Special.)
In this era of Iron Chefs, how much male cooking time is swallowed by elaborate culinary stunts? 鈥淪orry, fella, it doesn鈥檛 count unless you are doing it every day,鈥� Mark Kurlansky writes in 鈥淐onfessions of a Foodiephobiac.鈥�
Donohue links the increase in paternal cooks to the increase in working mothers, which has doubled over the past 40 years, 鈥渉itting nearly 80 percent of all mothers this decade.鈥� But here鈥檚 one figure Donohue doesn鈥檛 spell out: the percentage of stove dads who have come to appreciate their mothers鈥� unsung kitchen heroism 鈥� nearly all.
In addition to Kurlansky, 鈥淢an With a Pan鈥� boasts an impressive roster of writers and chefs, including Mario Batali, Mark Bittman, Stephen King, and Paul Greenberg. Batali writes 鈥� not without some pride 鈥� that his sons love monkfish liver, tripe, and duck testicles. He advises that 鈥渢he easiest way to get kids to try something new is to have the child assist in the production鈥� 鈥� though others comment that everything takes much longer if you do this.
In his witty entry, 鈥淜itchen ABCs: Always Be Cleaning,鈥� memoirist Sean Wilsey keeps a running count of the dirty dishes that pile up during breakfast with his honey-obsessed toddler. Wisely, he doesn鈥檛 even try to assess the damage from three versions of spaghetti carbonara 鈥� gluten free, cow鈥檚 milk and egg white free, and traditional 鈥� produced simultaneously to accommodate his family鈥檚 food allergies.
Not surprising in a book about cooking for children, Italian recipes predominate. Donohue offers Weeknight Chicken Parmigiana, while Bittman presents Pasta alla Gricia. There are also a smattering of curries, a Vegetarian Bobotie, the Low Country Red Rice that This American Life writer Jack Hitt grew up eating in Charleston, and, in case you鈥檙e feeling ambitious or ravenous, Peter Kaminsky鈥檚 instructions for Whole Roast Cow. New York magazine writer Jesse Green, forced to take over in the kitchen in his two-dad household when his partner is sidelined by a hernia operation, suggests a Spinach and Rice Torta adapted from Marcella Hazan.
While few of the essays or interviews would qualify for a volume of classic food writing and several feel downright half-baked, there are some standouts. Ever a lusty breath of fresh air, Jim Harrison confesses that 鈥淭he off-the-wall arrogance that allowed me to become a novelist and poet didn鈥檛 pan out in the kitchen, and it has taken me nearly 50 years to become a consistently acceptable cook.鈥� His wife, he writes, 鈥渉ad the specific advantage of not cooking with her ego.鈥� He offers recipes for 鈥淕rouse Surprise鈥� and 鈥淓lk Carbonade,鈥� and advises befriending accomplished chefs. 鈥淵our meals in life are numbered and the number is diminishing. Get at it,鈥� he admonishes.
鈥淢an With a Pan鈥� could make a terrific Father鈥檚 Day gift 鈥� either a not-so-subtle hint from a burnt-out wife, or further inspiration for that paragon, the cooking husband.
Heller McAlpin, a freelance critic in New York, is a frequent Monitor contributor.
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