How comedian Roy Wood Jr. became a 鈥楳an of Many Fathers鈥�
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Ken Makin Cultural commentator
Whether it鈥檚 discussing his love for baseball or something far more polarizing, namely politics, it appears that no topic is out of bounds for Roy Wood Jr. With his new book, the comedian-turned-author may be taking on his heaviest discussion thus far: parenting.
Known for his years on 鈥淭he Daily Show鈥� and as a host of the White House Correspondents鈥� Dinner, Mr. Wood has recently penned 鈥淭he Man of Many Fathers: Life Lessons Disguised as a Memoir.鈥� He centers the book around his son鈥檚 birth and life to create a generational tour de force of his own influences and father figures. As the title suggests, no topic is off limits, whether it鈥檚 blended families or domestic violence.
The Monitor spoke with Mr. Wood via phone amid his book tour, which has included stops in New York and Chicago. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
Why We Wrote This
With his new book, 鈥淭he Man of Many Fathers: Life Lessons Disguised as a Memoir,鈥� comedian Roy Wood Jr. may be taking on his heaviest discussion thus far: parenting.
What was your process in putting the book together?
Books are different from TV shows and movies. With a movie, you write with an ending in mind. With a TV show, you look at which way you want to take characters over an arc of a series, and how you get there, you鈥檙e not necessarily sure about. In a navigation sense, a movie is going from Point A to Point B, and you know the route, while a TV show goes from Point A to Point B and there are many routes you can take. A book is just heading in a direction, but where鈥檚 Point B? I don鈥檛 know, but I鈥檓 just headed that way. Then you start writing and thinking about parenting.
The book started originally as a list of lessons to give my son, just some chicken noodle soup for the soul, a bunch of stories that aren鈥檛 related to each other. Let me tell you a story about this man who inspired me when I was working day labor. Let me tell you about a drug dealer I met who was oddly inspiring. Let me tell you about my mom. But then the more I needed to tell you about those people, the more I needed to tell you the backstory about why I was making choices in certain situations. Well, for you to understand those choices, I need to explain to you the dynamic between my mom and dad. Also, before we get to that, I gotta explain to you that I鈥檓 my mom鈥檚 only child, and I鈥檓 the ninth of 11 kids. So it became this flourishing, emotional foundation that needed to be laid first, then I could get into the stories.
I have a crazy work ethic. Why? Because sometimes my parents would argue, and my dad wouldn鈥檛 pay bills to prove a point. So I started working at 13, so there would always be a little bit of money in the house to counter my dad if he was tripping. Well, is that work ethic or is that a trauma response? So you have to start dealing with that, and now this book is no longer 鈥淐hicken Soup for the Soul.鈥� This is a real unpacking of my own reckonings of things, and within that, I鈥檓 discovering these new truths that I can now give my son. That鈥檚 what the book ultimately became, and what you thought was Point A to Point B across town was actually a cross-country drive. And you鈥檙e exhausted and you鈥檙e spent and you鈥檙e tired. But every stop along the way was necessary and worthwhile to create, the book in its totality. In that regard, I鈥檓 grateful that I was able to go on this journey because it was therapeutic for me to a degree as well.
A consistent theme of your work has been character building. Why is that such an important part of your ethos?
I think it鈥檚 important to know why we are the way we are. If we don鈥檛 know that, or don鈥檛 identify that, how can we really pour into anybody? How can you be more [and do more] if you aren鈥檛 aware of what exactly it is that you possess?
What have been some highlights during the book tour?
I鈥檇 say the best part of promoting the book has been the feedback from the readers. The main thing ... has been the messages from parents, emails and DMs from strangers, talking about their own conflicted childhoods that they had with their parents. How do you reconcile it? How do you make peace with that? Because you can鈥檛 be a good parent if you鈥檙e still in your feelings about what you never got. And there鈥檚 no way to completely let go of things that may have happened to us in our childhood. But I do think that there is a way to identify at least the good parts of your parents and focus on how you can pass and instill those values onto your children.
What do you want readers to take away from this book?
Don鈥檛 just look to your parents when you search for the answers about your identity. We get so fixated on what our mom did and what our dad did and how that affects us. But that man you worked with for two weeks at that job, if you really sit and look at it, had some crazy and adverse effects on you, too. You gotta acknowledge that. I don鈥檛 mean that in a bad way, I mean that in a sense of truth 鈥� accepting and absorbing.
Once we start looking at the entire community who raised us, I think, then, we have an opportunity to really be honest with ourselves about who we are. Once you know who you are, then you鈥檙e armed with all the tools 鈥� what parts of you are the best of you, and how to instill and pass those down to your children.
