海角大神

This story is by Julio Franchi,聽as told to staff writer Erika Page.

At the time my only thought was to help. I just followed my instinct. Only now am I realizing what it means to be a father.聽

It was 2019. I would meet up with a group of neighbors and our dogs at the square around 10 o鈥檆lock at night. We were always the same people. One night a little boy appeared.聽

He was just there, playing with a stick, and you could tell he was alone. He looked abandoned. It was 11 o鈥檆lock, 12 o鈥檆lock at night. That was late for a 7-year-old. I asked him what his name was, what he was doing there. We got along right away. The next day he came back.聽

From then on he was always there, with his broken sneakers and clothes that weren鈥檛 his size.聽

We asked, and he wasn鈥檛 going to school. The first thing that occurred to us was to buy him some sneakers. We pooled money between the 10 of us neighbors.聽

I kept trying to connect the dots. I asked where he lived, and he said, 鈥渢hat way.鈥� The next day I walked him to the corner. There were a few squatter houses left in the neighborhood 鈥� his was one of them. I went with him one day with the excuse of the new shoes. I didn鈥檛 want his mom to think I was meddling. When she came out I realized because of her state that she was dealing with an addiction. But she was receptive to help.

We found him a local school. That was already a lot. He could eat there and not spend so much time on the street. He would come to my apartment for an afternoon snack, or he鈥檇 go to one of the neighbors鈥� homes. This continued into 2020. We saw each other several times a week. He would ask to stay over at my house, but that didn鈥檛 happen at first. 聽

Then the pandemic hit, and the pandemic was really strict here. You couldn鈥檛 go anywhere. Six months passed, and I didn鈥檛 hear anything from him. When the quarantine began to relax 鈥� right around when Maradona died, that鈥檚 what I remember 鈥� his mom called to say she was going to be hospitalized. She couldn鈥檛 take care of Ian.聽

She wanted to know if I could. I obviously said yes.聽

She never called to ask for Ian back.聽

She clearly loves her son. In her right mind, she鈥檚 great. Very fun, very cheerful. But the addiction leads her to lie endlessly. She can sleep for days. Later I learned that Ian had to get her out of places where he was forced to see really ugly situations. Within her chaos, though, she is always looking for the best for him.聽

I鈥檓 very individualistic. I鈥檓 always thinking about myself, always caught up in my own world. I never thought I would be ready to be a father. When I realized she was handing him over to me, I didn鈥檛 think about my life. It鈥檚 never crossed my mind even a little bit to wonder what I鈥檝e gotten myself into. I live alone in Buenos Aires; he is my family. Ian came to pull me out of myself, out of my ego.聽

People who know me can鈥檛 believe I get up at 6 a.m. and take him to school. I used to go to bed at 7 in the morning or later. I鈥檝e discovered the morning. I鈥檝e discovered what it means to miss someone. The most important things in my life happen without me expecting them.聽

My relationship with my own father marked me. There are things that have been difficult for me to forgive, moments of violence from another generation. But he never threw in the towel. He always wanted to change. Now I see what it means to be a model for Ian. I can鈥檛 hit the brakes and say, 鈥淚鈥檓 not going to raise you for a while. I鈥檓 going to spend my time screwing everything up and doing things wrong, so don鈥檛 watch me.鈥� He鈥檚 going to watch anyway.聽

Fatherhood is like a giant mirror in which I see all my flaws. The virtues, too, although they aren鈥檛 as numerous. It forces me to try to be better, even if I don鈥檛 succeed all the time. When I get angry, and I realize five minutes later I鈥檝e made a mistake, I apologize right then. No matter how much I feel like screaming like a madman, I say, 鈥淟ook, what I just said was wrong. I鈥檓 sorry.鈥澛�

That鈥檚 my guiding principle: honesty. When I told Ian the whole truth about what was happening to his mom 鈥� what it鈥檚 like to be an addict 鈥� everything became clearer to him. He began to understand that his mom had a problem. It wasn鈥檛 that she didn鈥檛 love him. It was essential for him to understand that. So that鈥檚 where I take shelter, in the truth.聽

When I met him, knowing where he came from, the first thing I imagined was that I was going to bring him things, offer him experiences, buy him stuff. Not that I have any money. I鈥檓 a musician. I was better off than him, but just by a bit. But later I realized that in reality what I was going to give him were limits. That鈥檚 what he needed. That鈥檚 really being a parent.聽

At first we explained things to people about our relationship. Then at one point we said, 鈥淥K, that鈥檚 it, we鈥檙e father and son.鈥� I told him, 鈥淛ust watch, now that we say it, we鈥檙e going to start hearing that we look alike.鈥� Two days later, a woman stopped us and said, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e identical!鈥� Ian just started to laugh.

He talks like someone from Rosario, which is where I鈥檓 from. He鈥檚 never been there. He had the same sense of humor as my dad before meeting him. And there are things I鈥檝e copied from him. He鈥檚 calm. He doesn鈥檛 talk so much. He listens. He observes. He eats so slowly, and I tell him that鈥檚 great. Eat slowly your whole life.

Once we were talking about how I found my dog Nino, how I found my cat, and he grabbed me and said, 鈥淵ou found all of us on the street!鈥� I like the street. I feel good on the street. Life today feels as if it were on demand. Everything we do is already planned out, leaving no room for surprise. The street has something our phones don鈥檛. There must be something there, because now I have a son.聽

Ian loves his mom. It鈥檚 more sadness he feels than anger, although there is anger too. If he can pull through all the inner turmoil 鈥� and he is going to 鈥� he鈥檒l be free. I always tell him, 鈥淲ith all the pain around you, there are things you鈥檝e gained that other kids don鈥檛 have.鈥� He鈥檚 going to see that he is someone who has a story, and not just a traumatic one. It鈥檚 the life he was given. May he try to make it as beautiful as possible.聽