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The coronavirus pandemic has placed new stresses on home life 鈥� and how household duties are divvied up. But while much of the media emphasis has been on the extra burden being placed on women, men have been stepping up as well.

Before the pandemic, data shows women regularly spent more time on child care, housework, and the 鈥渕ental load鈥� of household management than men, even though 71.5% of women with children under age 18 participate in the labor force. Several media articles have spotlighted the intense burdens many mothers are carrying at this time. But fathers spend about triple the time on child care per week than they did in 1965, and more than double the amount of time on housework, according to a 2016 report by the Pew Research Center.

Editor鈥檚 note: As a public service,听all our coronavirus coverage听is free. No paywall.

鈥淭he vast majority of men in the U.S. want to share housework and childcare equally with their partners,鈥� wrote Daniel Carlson, an associate professor of family and consumer studies at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City in a recent Twitter post with tips for fathers on how to get more involved at home. 鈥淗owever, structural barriers like a lack of job flexibility and time at home prevent this. But this barrier has been removed for many. You are home now. Don鈥檛 let the burden of your new work/family arrangement fall just on your partner!鈥澨�

How couples negotiate workloads during the pandemic 鈥渋s going to say a lot about our conceptions of gender right now,鈥� adds Professor Carlson in a phone interview. 鈥淚 think a lot of people are going to have to come face-to-face with their own and their partner鈥檚 ideas about who鈥檚 responsible for what.鈥�

We asked a few fathers around the United States to share how the coronavirus has changed their work and family life and what lessons they鈥檙e learning about divisions of labor in the home. Their answers have been edited for length and clarity.听

John Griswold from Encinitas, California, is the father of three children, ages 7 months, 2, and 4. He works full time and his wife is a stay-at-home parent.听

Has being at home more made you think any differently about what your spouse handles at home?

She has the harder job. There鈥檚 no ifs, ands, or buts about it. She鈥檚 juggling a million things all at once. My clients don鈥檛 scream at me when something isn鈥檛 right, at least not normally.

[My wife] puts the kids first and doesn鈥檛 naturally set aside time for herself. So my biggest job is to try and force her to do that, and sometimes I do a good job at that and sometimes I don鈥檛. I鈥檓 trying to make sure she鈥檚 getting enough time to decompress so she can be her best self for the kids because she burns it at both ends and doesn鈥檛 complain 鈥� she loves her job, she鈥檚 wanted to be a stay-at-home mom since she was little.听

How have you divvied up things like the dishes or laundry that aren鈥檛 necessarily child care, but are often more typically in the woman鈥檚 wheelhouse?听

The 鈥渉ome ec鈥� roles I鈥檝e taken as my own is I do all the grocery shopping and I cook at night. I plan it out, I鈥檝e taken it as mine. She knows what we don鈥檛 have in the fridge better than me. I鈥檝e figured out for our marriage, systems really work. [Normally] at 3 p.m. every day I call or text and say, 鈥淲hat do you need me to pick up?鈥� She tells me and then I try to get to the store and be home at 5 from the grocery store so we can do bedtime.听Since I鈥檓 at home now, I鈥檓 making my own list, going to Costco, doing that portion for her. I鈥檓 grateful for it because it gives me a reason to get out of the house.听

Nick Townley lives in Acton, Massachusetts, with his wife and their children, ages 2 and 5. He reduced his hours to part-time work during the pandemic. His wife works full time.听

How do you and your spouse regularly divide up child care and household tasks? Has that changed at all since the pandemic?

Before coronavirus we were both responsible for deep cleans. I do regular surface cleans and the laundry, we alternate cooking, I do 4 out of 5 weeknights for cooking, and she normally does weekends and Friday. Now she鈥檚 increased her cooking because she enjoys it and wants to and can without her commute. I鈥檓 still the primary parent when we鈥檙e both home during working hours because she鈥檚 on so many calls. I鈥檓 building my day around her work routine because I can do that with my schedule.听

Data shows dads lag behind moms with handling child care and household duties. As someone who has been more involved as a stay-at-home dad, what do you see as the benefits of handling more duties around the house?听

The main driver for me was that I spent so much time away when [my daughter] was younger. I鈥檇 go away for three months at a time and [my wife] was at home full time. I was going away and didn鈥檛 want to be an absent father and [she] wanted to be working.

I really think it comes down to the personalities of people and what they enjoy and don鈥檛 enjoy. We鈥檝e been very lucky that most of the things I don鈥檛 like, she likes doing, things she doesn鈥檛 like, like tidying, I like doing. It鈥檚 personal preferences and the economics of the situation.

[We aim for a] greater sense of teamwork and common purpose and unity, where you both feel like the other person鈥檚 contributing and you don鈥檛 feel like the other person鈥檚 slacking, which means everything鈥檚 so much smoother.听

David Bates is a father of two children, ages 2 and 4, in Dallas. He works full time and his wife works part time.听

What鈥檚 changed in your child care and household routines?听

My kids usually go to school on certain days during the week and that鈥檚 when [my wife] gets her work done, but obviously with this change the kids are at home now so that has meant that there鈥檚 definitely more of a sharing of responsibilities. What usually happens is I鈥檒l have to be more involved in the afternoons and evenings. I鈥檒l come in, take care of the kids, we鈥檒l play in the yard or take a walk if it鈥檚 nice, while [my wife] works, sometimes I鈥檒l be more involved with dinner preparations because the evening is her time to work. Often I find myself the one putting my kids to bed.

How do you normally communicate about handling child care and home duties with your spouse, and has this moment forced you to talk about it more intentionally or more often?听

It鈥檚 almost the same as what we did previously. I feel like we always had an open conversation or understanding of how to divide things up. ... I haven鈥檛 really seen much of a change, it鈥檚 almost like things are moving too rapidly that we haven鈥檛 really sat down and talked. [Instead] it鈥檚 鈥淟ook, I need to get this done, let鈥檚 figure it out as we鈥檙e going.鈥�

Editor鈥檚 note: As a public service,听all our coronavirus coverage听is free. No paywall.