海角大神

TV anchor Vai Sikahema, a gracious man, revels in his NFL locker room days 鈥� the banter, the teasing, the freewheeling maleness of it all. And why shouldn鈥檛 he? Mr. Sikahema鈥檚 1992 touchdown punt return for the Eagles against the loathed rival New York Giants 鈥� polished off by his celebratory, Rocky-like punching of the opponents鈥� goal post 鈥� earned him legendary status in this city, which lives for its sports moments.

His teammates, though, also knew him as the guy who鈥檇 decline the strip club outings, and the attentions of pretty, hovering girls. 鈥淲hen you play professional sports, it has a tendency to force you off the fence鈥� in terms of morality, he says. 鈥淚 know I was unique in an NFL locker room: I was a virgin until my wedding day, and I was further unique in that I remained faithful to my wife through my football career and in my life.鈥�

His commitment to fidelity continues today, despite being immersed, for the past 25 years, in a television news world as replete as the NFL with the 鈥渃ombustible elements鈥� of celebrity, money, and opportunity. 鈥淭he odd thing is, I never felt holier-than-thou,鈥� even with his teammates, many of whom held far different values. 鈥淭hey鈥檇 keep me from getting hurt on Sundays,鈥� he says.

The doctrine of the church in which he was raised 鈥� The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 鈥� is simple, he says: 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have sex until marriage, and in marriage you practice fidelity.鈥� He has found this doctrine to be a great blessing in his life.

Mr. Sikahema spoke with the Monitor about the Seventh Commandment 鈥� Thou shalt not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14) 鈥� as part of our Ten Commandments series, which examines how ancient religious principles continue to matter in today鈥檚 world. 鈥淚 think God gives us these Commandments so we could be happy,鈥� he says.

Mr. Sikahema, originally from the South Pacific island nation of Tonga, immigrated to the United States with his parents when he was 7. His mother taught him not just to respect women鈥檚 sexuality, but to honor them, including in simple ways like opening a car door for them or carrying their packages. At first, Mr. Sikahema kept his virginity out of respect for his mother. With time, he recalls, 鈥淚 grew into the doctrine and I understood, as I got older, its purpose.鈥�

His church believes that sexuality has particular meaning in the eyes of God 鈥� that God shares the power of procreation with humans, and that this precludes trifling with aspects of life connected with that power. 鈥淲hen we violate the commandment we stand in contempt, and frankly, so many of the world鈥檚 ills result,鈥� he says, noting especially the challenges that can arise when children grow up without fathers: 鈥淲hen people stray from their vows, it creates problems raising children.鈥�

Security for the family

Today, the middle-aged father of four experiences benefits of the commandment that he did not foresee in his NFL days. 鈥淥nce I had kids, and three of the four were sons, it occurred to me that among the blessings of honoring that commandment was that my children would grow up with the security that can only come from knowing that their father loves their mother in the most sacred way,鈥� he says. This stood in contrast to the family chaos they often encountered in football and in society more widely. 鈥淚 did not anticipate how powerful that is to children,鈥� he says.

He likened his role to that of a teacher. 鈥淭here is power, in whatever subject you teach, when you have the credibility and the conviction that comes from doing exactly what you teach,鈥� he says. He saw it as his duty to teach chastity not just for his children鈥檚 physical well-being, but because of its emotional and spiritual power, which he believes results in the respect of self and others.

Today, three of his children are married, with six children among them. 鈥淥ne of the great, great blessings that have come from living the commandment,鈥� he says, 鈥渋s seeing our children in good, happy marriages.鈥� He adds that if he had the choice to leave his kids either a billion-dollar inheritance or the legacy of faithfulness, there would be no contest. 鈥淯ltimately [my example] is of greater value to them,鈥� he says.

鈥淚 feel like every day I get to work with him is like a gift,鈥� says Rosemary Connors, a good friend of Mr. Sikahema who is a co-anchor, along with him, of the morning news at Philadelphia鈥檚 NBC affiliate, NBC10. Marriage is a frequent topic of conversation for the two 鈥� she a relative neophyte married only four years, he a generation older, with a perspective and sense of humor that helps her see past the bumps. Both people of faith, they view life and marriage through a spiritual lens, and Ms. Connors 鈥� admiring her co-worker鈥檚 manner of speaking of his spouse with respect and gratitude 鈥� takes that as a lesson. 鈥淚 internalize that in my own relationship,鈥� she says.

Married for 35 years

Mr. Sikahema and his wife, Keala, met while they were students at Brigham Young University, and they鈥檝e been married for 35 years. 鈥淲e both enjoy the blessings of a happy marriage because we decided from the beginning to not put ourselves in a compromising situation,鈥� says Ms. Sikahema, who adds that her husband鈥檚 career has provided him many more opportunities than she has had to put the promise to the test. 鈥淗e overcompensates and goes out of his way to do things out of the ordinary鈥� to avoid even the appearance of infidelity. She recalls a road trip when he called for a cab rather than remain in a situation that had the feel of a double date.

鈥淲e try to remember to tell each other every morning that we will not take each other for granted,鈥� she says.

While Mr. Sikahema鈥檚 public persona is that of Philly football hero and TV anchor, he鈥檚 known within his church for his leadership, he says, as he takes in the city from the sleek 12th-floor news headquarters at the year-old Comcast Technology Center. He currently presides over all spiritual and temporal aspects of his growing faith community in Pennsylvania, Delaware, and much of the surrounding region.

The Seventh Commandment figures prominently in that community鈥檚 life, but transgressions occur, he concedes. 鈥淓ven the best people make mistakes,鈥� he says. When that happens, the church offers a process for forgiveness of adultery, in recognition of the belief that Jesus gave his life in atonement for sins, including these kinds of sins. 鈥淲hat was once scarlet can be made as white as snow,鈥� he says, referring to Scripture (Isaiah 1:18).

If a spouse has been unfaithful, the church expects both partners to consult with their bishop with the aim of repairing the marriage, a process that in some cases can take years. Mr. Sikahema is formerly a bishop on the receiving end of such requests.

鈥淏y and large, people give up on their marriages too soon,鈥� he believes.

Travel companions

The Sikahemas, now empty nesters, travel together nearly every weekend throughout the Northeast for church business, driving if the destination is less than five hours away, flying if longer. 鈥淲e just enjoy being together,鈥� Mr. Sikahema says.

They pray on their knees together in the morning 鈥� at 3:30 a.m. on days when he needs to leave for the station 鈥� and again at night. They pray about the myriad hopes and needs of their family 鈥� now 15 strong 鈥� their church, and their world.

鈥淚 like old-fashioned,鈥� says the newsman, who is not afraid to bring his Sunday school game to a hookup culture. Though other believers 鈥� be they 海角大神, Jewish, or Muslim 鈥� share the values of the Seventh Commandment, people need not be religious to benefit from the commandment鈥檚 take on matters of the heart, he says. 鈥淭hese values are more and more not in the mainstream, but I think reasonable people want this. Old-fashioned is good.鈥�

Part 1: The Commandments as a moral source code in modern life

Part 2: How does the First Commandment fit in today?

Part 3: 鈥業 have to have humility鈥�: How Second Commandment helped man find freedom

Part听4:听One woman embraces Third Commandment in feeding 1,600 at Thanksgiving

Part 5: 鈥楻emember the sabbath鈥�: How one family lives the Fourth Commandment

Part 6: 鈥楪rowing up is hard鈥�: How Fifth Commandment guided a child during divorce

Part 7: Is saying 鈥業鈥檇 kill for those shoes鈥� OK? One woman and Sixth Commandment.

Part 8: Is chastity old-fashioned? An NFL veteran鈥檚 take on Seventh Commandment.

Part 9: 鈥楾hou shalt not steal鈥�: Even someone else鈥檚 joy, says one educator

Part 10: 鈥楾hou shalt not bear false witness鈥�: Ninth Commandment goes to Princeton

Part 11: Jealousy at Ivy League level: How a law professor views Tenth Commandment