海角大神

Debbie Hadden is not one to take the Lord鈥檚 name in vain, especially not in November, when she鈥檚 got more than 1,600 mouths to feed on Thanksgiving Day. Not that there aren鈥檛 plenty of excuses for slipping up, given the immensity of the task and its attendant glitches 鈥� the outdated lists, the telephone tag, the last-minute head-count changes. And not to mention her own bad knees and bum shoulder.

When Ms. Hadden calls on the Lord, especially this month, it鈥檚 legit. She tells Him what she needs 鈥� about the fact that she鈥檚 way short on turkey, for instance 鈥� and then she watches to see what happens. She knows she鈥檚 been heard when a stranger pulls up in a pickup truck asking if she could possibly use a load of turkeys that the local food bank turned away. 鈥淚f someone doesn鈥檛 believe in God, all they have to do is become involved in Thanksgiving,鈥� says the unassuming Ms. Hadden in her comfy Upper Darby living room, the seedbed for her many works of charity.

Ms. Hadden spoke recently about the Third Commandment, Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain (Exodus 20:7). The conversation was part of the Monitor鈥檚 series examining the ways traditional religious codes like the Ten Commandments continue to matter in the lives of ordinary people.

Ms. Hadden has been married for 36 years, the affable mother of two grown children. She鈥檚 also a longtime leader at First Presbyterian Church of Glenolden, where she has worshipped since age 12 and which serves as the staging ground for the Thanksgiving dinner project that Ms. Hadden and her family began 26 years ago.

The former nurse had an incident nearly 20 years ago with a detoxing hospital patient that left her disabled. Nevertheless, her default mode remains one of helping, whether it鈥檚 cutting out paper butterflies for local children鈥檚 programs or persuading a reluctant widower to join in Thanksgiving dinner. All the while, she wants her words not only to reflect the respect and reverence she has for God, but also to encourage others in the normal bumps and stumbles inherent in a spiritual journey. Her marching orders come from Matthew 25, she says, paraphrasing, 鈥淲hatever you鈥檙e doing for someone else, you鈥檙e doing for God.鈥�

The dinner鈥檚 beginnings

Ms. Hadden鈥檚 most visible good work would have to be her Thanksgiving. It began a quarter century ago when, within two short years, her brother-in-law, Bob Teta, lost his mother, father, and young sister. Shortly thereafter, moved in his grief by the face of a homeless man he passed on the street, Mr. Teta asked his family, 鈥淒o you think there鈥檚 something we can do for Thanksgiving?鈥�

There was. A mail carrier, he as well as his fellow workers began to ask shut-ins along their delivery routes if they鈥檇 like to receive a free Thanksgiving dinner. That year, they delivered 50 meals and fed 50 more people at a sit-down meal at their Glenolden church. After that, word-of-mouth took over, and others came forward 鈥� some for food, some to help. By last year, what had begun as a small family gesture fed more than 1,600 needy people in their homes and another 170 at a sit-down meal at the church 鈥� with Ms. Hadden working from lists provided by hospitals, senior centers, hospices, social workers, food pantries, and friends.

Though the project has become a well-oiled machine over the years, its success is in God鈥檚 hands, Ms. Hadden says, and each year鈥檚 unfolding affirms her faith in a God who is intimately involved in the details. 鈥淚 just leave it up to Him. He always sends me what I need,鈥� she says.

Over the years, the siblings, children, and friends they corralled to help have become a volunteer force in the hundreds. 鈥淭he Girl Scout troops come, the Boy Scout troops. ... A bunch of guys from a group home once carried all the boxes to the cars,鈥� Ms. Hadden recalls. 鈥淭he Holy Spirit has touched people from all over Delaware County and put that in their hearts, put that in their heads, maybe even tormented them a little bit, and the next thing you know, I鈥檓 getting calls from people I never heard of before who want to help.鈥�

鈥淲hen we use the Lord鈥檚 name, it should just be used for goodness,鈥� says Edith Cain, who in her 90s is the oldest member of First Presbyterian. She was also its first woman elder and Ms. Hadden鈥檚 Sunday school teacher many years ago. Of the fact that she may have played a role in the family鈥檚 charitable nature, Ms. Cain says, 鈥淚鈥檓 thankful for that.鈥� Like her former student, she believes kindness is contagious: 鈥淚t鈥檚 amazing what sharing just a little bit of love to somebody else can do. Even if we just give each other a 鈥榟ello, and how are you?鈥� Sometimes all a person needs is encouragement.鈥�

Not always smooth sailing

Though somehow the canned goods appear, the pies get cut, and the yams parceled out, Thanksgiving is not always smooth sailing. 鈥淓very year the devil tries to get you. Every year the printer goes or Bob gets a flat tire or the computer goes down,鈥� Ms. Hadden recalls. 鈥淭he evil one puts these things in our path to stop us. The closer you are to doing God鈥檚 will, the devil鈥檚 going to try to get you.鈥�

In a world where the Lord鈥檚 name is taken lightly time and again 鈥� even in Ms. Hadden鈥檚 own house on certain Sundays when the Eagles are playing 鈥� she doesn鈥檛 judge, but she may chide. 鈥淚t鈥檚 wrong. The Bible tells us not to do that,鈥� she says. She admits she slips up from time to time herself, and will apologize. 鈥淚鈥檓 human. I say, 鈥業鈥檓 sorry, God.鈥欌�� To those within earshot, she鈥檒l say, 鈥淓xcuse my French,鈥� and move on. She鈥檚 willing to be an example not just of inspiration but of imperfection. She believes those who witness her wrongdoing might benefit, in a way, by knowing that the woman they may see as holier-than-thou is, in fact, as human as they are.

Though the Third Commandment says those who use God鈥檚 name in vain will not be held guiltless, Ms. Hadden doesn鈥檛 wallow when she misses this 鈥� or any other 鈥� mark, and she doesn鈥檛 want others to wallow, either. 鈥淵our thoughts are reflected in your life. You don鈥檛 want to walk around carrying guilt. You move on, do positive things,鈥� she says. She gives the hundreds who pitch in at First Presbyterian on Thanksgiving morning a chance to do just that, with them leaving every bit as nourished as those who are fed.

鈥淭hey鈥檙e so glad they did this thing,鈥� Ms. Hadden says. 鈥淭hey feel so good about themselves, that they were able to help people. They go home and talk to their neighbors, their friends, their families. There鈥檚 a ripple effect.鈥�

Part 1: The Commandments as a moral source code in modern life

Part 2: How does the First Commandment fit in today?

Part 3: 鈥業 have to have humility鈥�: How Second Commandment helped man find freedom

Part听4:听One woman embraces Third Commandment in feeding 1,600 at Thanksgiving

Part 5: 鈥楻emember the sabbath鈥�: How one family lives the Fourth Commandment

Part 6: 鈥楪rowing up is hard鈥�: How Fifth Commandment guided a child during divorce

Part 7: Is saying 鈥業鈥檇 kill for those shoes鈥� OK? One woman and Sixth Commandment.

Part 8: Is chastity old-fashioned? An NFL veteran鈥檚 take on Seventh Commandment.

Part 9: 鈥楾hou shalt not steal鈥�: Even someone else鈥檚 joy, says one educator

Part 10: 鈥楾hou shalt not bear false witness鈥�: Ninth Commandment goes to Princeton

Part 11: Jealousy at Ivy League level: How a law professor views Tenth Commandment