海角大神

The story of my new fence begins 15,000 years ago.

The fence builder, Grant, is not that old, but he鈥檚 up there for a working carpenter. A friend recommended him. 鈥淗e鈥檚 retired,鈥� she said, 鈥渂ut he doesn鈥檛 like to be bored.鈥� So I called him. Would he be interested in building me a fence?

Well, gosh, he would, ordinarily. But he was slowing down. And he had a surgery coming up in a month and really shouldn鈥檛 be doing anything strenuous. He was sorry.

A half-hour later he called me back.

鈥淚 just wanted you to know, when you鈥檙e looking for a fence guy, make sure they use three-quarter-inch boards and not the half-inch boards. And be sure they don鈥檛 use a nail gun. You want hand-hammered galvanized nails, or you鈥檒l get rot and staining. And make sure they ...鈥�

He went on for about 20 minutes. As he wound down, he realized he simply couldn鈥檛 bear the thought of my getting a poor-quality fence 鈥� it wouldn鈥檛 be right. He wouldn鈥檛 hear of it. Could I wait until he had his surgery and then he鈥檇 make me a nice fence?

I could. He showed up soon after. The surgery had been canceled due to the pandemic. Over the course of the next few weeks I began to suspect the procedure may have had more to do with the surgeon鈥檚 boat payment than any infirmity on Grant鈥檚 part. He pulled out the existing fence and a rotten trellis and hauled them away. He busted up a thick old concrete pad and hauled it away. He tore out shrubs and hauled them away. He yarded in lumber. He dug postholes.聽

And the whole time, he was a fountain of cheer. He hummed, he whistled. The man is well past retirement age and has the constitution of a good-natured bison. A splendid new fence with three-quarter-inch boards began to emerge, nail by hand-hammered nail.

The gate, he swore, would never go out of square. It was a massive thing with two sides sandwiching a diagonal brace and might have tipped a scale with a rhino in the other pan. And once he鈥檇 hoisted it into place and installed the hardware, it whispered open and shut like a butterfly testing its wings in the sunshine.

It didn鈥檛 look cheap, and it wasn鈥檛. But a few months later, the mighty gate showed signs of petulance. It was reluctant to latch. Ultimately, it wouldn鈥檛 close at all.

I called Grant.

Of course he鈥檇 be right over! He鈥檇 see me right. And he did. The gate was so heavy, it tended to pull the post on the hinge side off plumb. He sturdied it up. And we were good 鈥� for a few more months.

I called Grant. He was living at the coast now but he鈥檇 get around to it as soon as he could. Maybe put in a diagonal brace for the fence section nearest the gate.

I wasn鈥檛 in any hurry. The gate isn鈥檛 to keep people out. It goes straight into the neighbor鈥檚 yard. She always has the best parsley. Also a rosemary bush.

鈥淭his is the first gate that鈥檚 ever given me a problem,鈥� Grant said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 all these rocks. I鈥檝e never pulled out so many rocks digging a posthole in my life. It makes the post unstable.鈥�

Oh, I knew all about those rocks. All the gardeners on our little rise complain about them. It鈥檚 because we鈥檙e living on a gigantic gravel bar of cobble scoured off a petite volcano to the east and deposited here during the great ice age floods, when glacial Lake Missoula repeatedly emptied out across Idaho and Washington and past our future house and into the ocean.

Grant strategized. He put in a second post perpendicular to the fence to fortify it. It will probably work.聽

But if not, 鈥渉ow many times are you going to let me call you about this?鈥� I queried. 鈥淚鈥檓 good for life,鈥� he said, with a smile for the ages, and I believe him.聽

We鈥檝e got a relationship now. It鈥檚 all part of the majesty of time. The mighty floods destined to bedevil a carpenter came 15,000 years ago. This good man doesn鈥檛 have that kind of time, but he鈥檚 a man of his word, immune to discouragement, and just a little stouter than a fence post.

This might be the final fix. But just in case, I鈥檝e got a drawer in the guest room all cleaned out for him. The rest of my life is not a geologically significant stretch of time, but it鈥檚 plenty long enough to enjoy a good fence. And a new friendship.