海角大神

Lambing season at the farm lasts about a month. I鈥檇 be in the barn a lot. Not that the ewes needed me: Birth was not an extreme experience for them. There were no carefully orchestrated birth plans, no ice chips, no plush keepsake to use as a focal point. But I liked to hang out with them, just in case. The seven of us listened to Joni Mitchell on my phone. I鈥檇 sit quietly in the corner, watching as my beloved girls brought babies into the world without exclamations.聽

Easter Sunday morning, I went out to check. I got there in time to see Dolores deliver her twin lambs, one after another. Up each popped, after all of two minutes, still wet and dazed. I rubbed them down with a towel and put them under Dolores鈥� teats. Good lambs indeed, they knew just what to do.聽

Marjorie was over in the corner, distressed. Standing up, lying down, she could not seem to find a comfortable position. Her low moans were not a sound I had heard before. She was in trouble. I called my oldest son on my phone and told him he had to come out.

鈥淲hich boots?鈥� he asked.聽

鈥淣ot your new Timbs. It could get messy, and they were expensive.鈥�

Will was not born to farm. He found most of the smells repulsive. Splitting and stacking wood was 鈥渄isgusting,鈥� and the squealing of the pigs totally freaked him out. 鈥淚t鈥檚 all pretty stressful, Mom,鈥� he concluded one day.聽

I鈥檇 gotten the sheep for him and his brother so they could join 4-H and show the animals at the county fair. They were beyond excited at the prospect and promised they would help with the chores.聽

I dropped Will at the fair one morning as his friends were showing sheep, and he was keen to see what it was all about so he鈥檇 be prepared for next year.聽

Two hours later, he called. 鈥淐an you come pick me up?鈥澛�

鈥淩eally?鈥� I asked. 鈥淚s something wrong?鈥澛�

鈥淚鈥檒l tell you in the car.鈥�

I鈥檒l tell you in the car was big. It usually meant a 73 on a science project he鈥檇 worked really hard on, or a spiteful coach who hadn鈥檛 moved him up to varsity.聽

鈥淥h, thanks, honey,鈥� I said, taking the candy apple from him when he sat down in the passenger seat. 鈥淪o?鈥� I asked.聽

鈥淚鈥檓 not going to join 4-H or show sheep. It is waaay too much work,鈥� he said. 鈥淪orry, Mom, I know we already have sheep. I promise I鈥檒l help. Just not the mucking-out-the-barn part. I dry-heave.鈥�

Remember that scene in 鈥淭he Godfather,鈥� when Don Corleone says to Amerigo Bonasera, 鈥淪omeday 鈥� and that day may never come 鈥� I will call upon you to do a service for me鈥�? That someday had come to Knot Hollow. It was time for my son to pay up.聽

I said, 鈥淪on, I need you to stand at her head, and hold her still. I鈥檓 going to go in and see what鈥檚 going on.鈥澛�

鈥淵ou鈥檙e going to stick your hands inside? Do you even know what you are doing? Have you done this before?鈥�

鈥淣o honey,鈥� I said, 鈥渂ut if I don鈥檛 do anything, we鈥檒l lose Marjorie and however many babies she鈥檚 carrying.鈥澛�

I prepared myself and put my hands inside. I felt hoofs but no face. Her baby was breech. I was up to my elbows when I felt the head. I cradled the lamb and gently turned it clockwise. It was remarkably roomy in there. And warm. Nothing at all scary about it. Once I got the lamb鈥檚 head in position, I pulled it out.聽

I have done many things in my life, but this was both the hardest and the most magical. A Buddhist nun, Pema Ch枚dr枚n, calls it 鈥渢he wisdom of no escape.鈥� I know exactly what she means.

I wiped off the lamb, put him under Marjorie鈥檚 nose, and watched her nudge and lick him until he could stand up on his own.聽

We named him Hay-Zeus. It was Easter Sunday, after all.聽

鈥淢om,鈥� said Will, staring at me, 鈥渢hat was the coolest thing I鈥檝e ever done.鈥澛�

I started to cry.聽

Mr. Fletcher, our gruff neighbor, came into the barn just then. I guess he was coming to get a round bale for his cows.聽

鈥淲hat鈥檚 going on?鈥� he said, noticing the lamb. 鈥淚s it dead?鈥澛�

鈥淣o, no, it鈥檚 alive!鈥� said Will, full of pride. 鈥淢om pulled it out of her.鈥�

鈥淪o why are you crying?鈥� Mr. Fletcher said, looking at me.

鈥淏ecause I鈥檓 a girl, you idiot. Because I鈥檓 a girl.鈥澛�