The role of 鈥榶ou鈥檙e welcome鈥� in polite society
What 鈥測ou鈥檙e welcome鈥� means is less important than what it does.聽Even small favors can create a feeling of obligation on the part of the recipient.
What 鈥測ou鈥檙e welcome鈥� means is less important than what it does.聽Even small favors can create a feeling of obligation on the part of the recipient.
What do you say in response to 鈥淭hank you鈥�? For many Americans, the default is 鈥淵ou鈥檙e welcome.鈥� I had never thought much about this common exchange until a reader wrote suggesting the reply was worth investigating.
On a literal level, it is hard to pinpoint exactly what it means. What is going on when one person says 鈥淭hank you for driving me home鈥� and her friend replies 鈥淵ou鈥檙e welcome鈥�? Welcome to what? 聽
Welcome derives from the Old English wilcuma, a noun meaning 鈥渁 desired guest.鈥� It acquired some of its more familiar senses in the Middle Ages, when it was used as an adjective meaning 鈥渁greeable, pleasing鈥� (鈥淗is gift was welcome,鈥� circa 1300) or 鈥渃ordially invited to do something鈥� (鈥淵ou should be welcome to go home with me,鈥� circa 1400). 聽
In the 15th century, 鈥渁nd welcome鈥� began to be tacked onto the end of invitations to suggest that a person was freely permitted or warmly invited to do or have something: 鈥淗ere are some cakes; ... take 鈥檈m, and welcome.鈥� In these cases, the phrase seems almost to be a preempting of thanks, an answer to the recipient鈥檚 gratitude before he or she has even had a chance to express it.聽
The first citation of 鈥測ou鈥檙e welcome鈥� in the Oxford English Dictionary dates from 1907, but others have argued that it can be found as far back as 1603, in 鈥淥thello.鈥� These citations are few and far between, however, because this familiar phrase is an example of what linguists call phatic speech, language used for social purposes rather than to convey information. It is a stock phrase that greases the social wheels, and as such is frequently used in conversation but rarely recorded in printed material.聽
When we say things like 鈥減lease,鈥� 鈥渢hank you,鈥� and 鈥測ou鈥檙e welcome,鈥� we are communicating that we know and are abiding by the rules of politeness in English-speaking American society. What 鈥測ou鈥檙e welcome鈥� means is less important than what it does 鈥� it is a 鈥渕inimizer.鈥� Even small favors can create a feeling of obligation on the part of the recipient, as English recognizes by having 鈥渕uch obliged鈥� as another way to say 鈥渢hank you.鈥� Our stock responses to such expressions of gratitude minimize this sense of indebtedness: 鈥渘o problem,鈥� 鈥渕y pleasure,鈥� and 鈥測ou鈥檙e welcome.鈥�
Now, though, 鈥測ou鈥檙e welcome鈥� seems to be losing its minimizing role. A 2015 New York Times article calls the phrase 鈥渁 gloat,鈥� and many online commentators agree that it sounds arrogant, implying that the thanks is deserved. For these speakers, instead of playing down the recipient鈥檚 obligation, 鈥測ou鈥檙e welcome鈥� emphasizes it. Unless, that is, it is used jokingly 鈥� for example, when you post a picture of your cat doing something cute and tag it 鈥淵ou鈥檙e welcome!鈥�