海角大神

Choose love.

These two simple words have been on my mind since they popped out at me from a friend鈥檚 Facebook post a few weeks ago. She was recapping her past year and she ended her reflection with 鈥淲hen in doubt, choose love.鈥澨齌hese words could mean many things to many people, and I鈥檝e been thinking about what it means for me to 鈥渃hoose love.鈥�

2012 was a challenging year personally and love was often in short supply. Not that听I听wasn鈥檛 loved, but rather that I wasn鈥檛 a very loving person. I felt so drained I had no love to give.听I had to get used to the fact that my husband was 6,720 miles away and 12 and-a-half hours ahead for an entire 12 months. And I worried (and still do) about his safety, every single day. Plus, I had to adjust to solo-parenting a toddler.

After a three-year hiatus, I worked very hard to develop a book proposal (one that I thought was very sellable and timely) that was quickly shot down. I have yet worked up the nerve to submit it elsewhere.听And I鈥檓 sure anyone who lives close to their parents can relate to the stress of having them live a stone鈥檚 throw away.

Did I mention I鈥檓 solo-parenting a toddler? I definitely have a newfound awe and admiration for single parents everywhere!听While I admit 2012 wasn鈥檛 all that bad 鈥� there was a trip to Vietnam to meet my husband, a paperback book launch 鈥� it was filled with plenty of angst and stress.听I realize now that many of these events and circumstances were beyond my control. Yet I was riddled with听unnecessary听anxiety and/or reacted negatively to them.

In hindsight, I can come up with any number of, 鈥淲hat if?鈥� scenarios.

What if I kept calm and didn鈥檛 raise my voice at Isaac when he wasn鈥檛 behaving the way I wanted him to? Then maybe I wouldn鈥檛 be wracked with guilt in the thereafter believing I was traumatizing my son and ruining him for life.

What if I listened patiently every time my dad complained about a new ache or pain, or expressed concern that his memory wasn鈥檛 as sharp as it used to be (aging has nothing to do with it, of course!). Instead, these could have been happy dad-and-daughter moments spent over a cup of coffee, especially if the topic at hand could be diverted.

If I had chosen love in these circumstances, perhaps I wouldn鈥檛 have expended superfluous time and energy getting worked up, upset, frustrated, etc., etc., you know what I mean. Thankfully, it鈥檚 never too late.听We are just a few steps in the new year but I鈥檝e already savored the power of choosing love.

The other day, the cashier at Target had a face so sullen it rivaled Posh Spice鈥檚 鈥� aka Victoria Beckham鈥檚 鈥� perpetual pout (am I dating myself with this analogy?). Instead of condemning her off-putting attitude silently in my mind, I complimented her on her gorgeous red top out loud. That coaxed a smile out of both her and me.

When my toddler asks for one more book, yet another sip of water, anything he can think of, to put off going to bed, I take a deep breath, tuck his blanket under his chin and hold him till he falls fast asleep. This phase won鈥檛 last forever (I hope, gulp 鈥�).听I鈥檓 off to a good start, don鈥檛 you think?

Starting with this new year 2013, whatever the season, whatever the mood,听always听choose love.

Vietnamese fresh spring rolls (G峄廼 Cu峄憂)
Time: 45 minutes prep
Makes: 4 servings听

I鈥檓 going to start a new column about trying dishes I didn鈥檛 think I could or would make at home. I鈥檝e been told many times how easy it is to make these fresh rolls but I鈥檝e always been intimidated by the听rice paper听wrappers. Most sources say to dip the dry rice paper rounds in water until soft but it seems impossible to get just right.

While traveling in Vietnam, I learned two other methods of softening the rice paper: one is to wipe it with a wet, non-terry towel until pliable, and the second, use a spray bottle. The rest is easy. Well, the rolling does takes some practice but you鈥檒l eventually get the hang of it. The following recipe/how-to is based on what I learned at a cooking class I took at the听Morning Glory Cooking School听in the beautiful town of听Hoi An听in central Vietnam.

8 sheets rice paper wrappers, plus more in case some break (8 to10 inches across is best)

Red leaf, romaine, or butter lettuce

3 cups fresh herbs: mint, cilantro, Thai (or regular) basil, red perilla,听Vietnamese mint,听rice paddy herb, bean sprouts (any combination of these is fine)

Carrot and daikon pickles

8 ounces small round rice noodles, cooked according to package directions (look for noodles labeled 鈥榖un,鈥� not the super thin vermicelli or听bean thread听noodles. If you have my听cookbook, they are pictured as #1 on pg. 15)

8 small slices pork shoulder, cooked as desired (I like to use听char siu, store-bought or home made)

12 large cooked shrimp, peeled and halved

12 (3-inch-length) pieces garlic chives

Dipping sauce听(recipe below)*

Lay all the ingredients out on the table and let everyone make their own rolls.

Soften the rice paper using your method of choice:
听

1. Dip in a bowl of warm water for about 3-5 seconds (depending on its thickness).

2. Lay on a flat surface and wipe with a wet non-terry towel several times until pliable.

3. Fill a spray bottle with water and spray until pliable.

You want the rice paper to be just soft enough that you can fold it. You will lessen the risk of over-soaking your rice paper wrapper if you use the latter two methods but it is up to you.

Place the wrapper on a work service (a flat plate works fine) and lay a piece of lettuce on the edge closest to you. Grab a handful of herbs and place them on top of the lettuce. Place a handful of noodles on top of the greens. Add some pickles. Arrange two slices of pork above the noodles, followed by 3 slices of shrimp, pink-side down.

Fold the edge closest to you over the ingredients and start rolling, ensuring the roll is snug as you go. When you are about half-way, fold both sides in and arrange three pieces of garlic chives on the right so that they jut out like palm leaves swaying in the wind. Continue rolling until you have a nice tight roll.

If you tear the rice paper, don鈥檛 fret, just start over again. And even if your roll isn鈥檛 perfect, so what, it鈥檒l still taste good!

Serve with dipping sauce.

*Dipping sauce (N瓢峄沜 m岷痬 ch岷�m)
Makes: 4 servings

2 large cloves garlic, minced

1 to 2 Thai red chilies, or to taste, sliced

3 tablespoons sugar

3 tablespoons lime juice (from about 1 large lime)

2 tablespoons warm water

Combine all the ingredients in a small bowl and stir until all the sugar has dissolved.