海角大神

Forrest Galante of Santa Barbara, California听just learned what many parents already know about lobster dinners 鈥� that it鈥檚 almost impossible to eat something you or your child has named.听

Parents know that before you have kids it鈥檚 just a lobster, and after kids it鈥檚 a new friend to whom you might sing Little Mermaid songs.

However, Mr. Galante is not a father or known for being a Little Mermaid movie, singing lobster kinda guy, but rather is best recognized for having appeared on Discovery Channel鈥檚 survival reality show 鈥淣aked and Afraid.鈥澨�

Still, Galante recently showed his papa-potential by sparing one fortunate lobster.

He caught the massive 12-pound Pacific Spiny lobster near Anacapa Island off the coast of California听in the middle of the night, according to an interview with KEYT TV, promptly named it Albert Gerther.听

Asked why he picked that particular name, Galante replied in Facebook chat today that he, 鈥渏ust named him something that I thought was hilarious and had the word 鈥榞irth' in it due to his tremendous size.鈥�

So began anthropomorphization of the crustacean I now prefer to think of as Big Al, who went home to Galante鈥檚 place for what was meant to be a once-in-a-lifetime lobster dinner.

During an interview with Galante about his catch, the news show rolled footage from the night fishing expedition of the enormous crustacean spreading it鈥檚 many legs in what looked like an attempted embrace of his captor.

鈥淛ust didn't want to kill something that special that is 3x my age for a 1 time meal,鈥� Galante wrote in a Facebook chat session Friday. 鈥淚'm a biologist and understand the importance large genetics in the gene pool, was much happier to see him go back.鈥�

Galante also told his television interviewer about the change of heart which occurred after the lobster was home and dry.听

鈥淎nything that can bear hug a man like that is pretty big, man,鈥� he told the television interviewer. 鈥淭here was just no way I could kill it for a one-time meal. I rushed him down to the Sea Center and they got him into a tank.鈥�听

The sea center that Galante was referring to is the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History Sea Center.

He added in our Facebook chat, when asked about returning him to the sea center, 鈥淗a, yeah I suppose after making the decision not to eat him I did feel quite bonded to him and was most interested in his well being!鈥�

The moment when I knew Galante鈥檚 daddy potential was clear was when he told the TV interviewer, 鈥淚t was interesting to see how all the smaller lobsters flocked to him so he could protect them.鈥�

I have made the mistake myself, as have my own parents, of looking a living lobster in the beady eye, naming it as part of the family dinner, only to have it backfire and end up eating cereal that night with our expensive new 鈥減et.鈥�

My mom tells the tale of how she and my father once brought home a live lobster to our New York City apartment when I was a toddler. Apparently the crusty critter wriggled free of the tongs my father held instead of being dropped into the pot of boiling water, and hit the floor before skittering away.

鈥淚t got behind the refrigerator and your father had to move the fridge and use a broom to get it out,鈥� my mom, now 84, recalls. 鈥淵ou were crying. I was up on a chair. That鈥檚 why we never cooked lobster again at our house. Too traumatic.鈥�

My husband and I had cooked lobsters B.C. (Before Children) without incident.听

However, any time we attempted to cook one after that, one of our four boys was quick to name every single one and thereby force a release to the nearest ocean.

Recently, my son Zoltan, now in college, asked me in a chiding tone, 鈥淗ow come we never cooked lobster? I love it.鈥�

After a few moments of looking like a chagrinned Daffy Duck, I told him that he loves it 鈥渘ow,鈥� but not when it was named 鈥淟azlo鈥� or 鈥淐lawson.鈥澨�

Zoltan is responsible for turning our home vegetarian for a year after his second grade class went to visit a dairy farm when we lived in New Jersey.听

鈥淭hey鈥檙e so soft and they have names,鈥� little Zoli wailed at McDonalds. 鈥淲e can never eat any animal again!鈥澨�

鈥淣ever鈥� lasted a year until he discovered how good burgers smell on a grill during a friend鈥檚 birthday party.

So when my son chided me for our lack of lobster on the family table over the years, I invoked the parental words of doom saying, 鈥淪omeday, I hope your kids name their lobsters! Come back and see me then!鈥�