海角大神

When Anna was 11 years old, she asked if I would read 鈥淭he Adventures of Huckleberry Finn鈥� to her. Not one to want to miss out, Adam asked if he could also listen to the story.

I was hesitant to read the book to my young children. How would I explain its apparent racism? Were they too young to understand the difference between cultural norms and malicious prejudice? Had I worked out the context in which 鈥淗uckleberry Finn鈥� existed in my own heart and mind?

I plunged ahead and read the book to my children. As a result, we had deep conversations about the language of racism. We concluded that words hurt as much as punches. It turns out that 鈥淗uckleberry Finn鈥� is on Adam鈥檚 English syllabus this year. I feel good that I prepared him for the tough issues the book brings to the foreground.

I told that story recently to ML Nichols, author of the very helpful book 鈥淭he Parent Backpack for Kindergarten through Grade 5: How to Support Your Child鈥檚 Education, End Homework Meltdowns, and Build Parent-Teacher Connections.鈥� In addition to having that important conversation about difficult subjects, she confirmed what I have intuited all these years: that 鈥渞eading with your kids even for 15 minutes a day makes a profound difference in a child鈥檚 education. Teachers know which families are reading to their children. And if your kids will let you, read to them through middle school.鈥�

Middle school? Isn鈥檛 that the time when kids are first testing out their independence? Nichols noted that in between those attempts at separation from parents, some middle schoolers secretly like to be read to: 鈥淭hey won鈥檛 tell their friends but from a very young age, kids like the bonding, the rhythm, the expression in your voice. All that makes reading a pleasurable experience. Reading with your kids is also a great way to help them build vocabulary.鈥�

According to Nichols, the best way to support a child鈥檚 education is to model read for that child. 鈥淩eading is a pillar of the elementary school years,鈥� she noted. 鈥淚f a child doesn鈥檛 develop those core reading skills, he or she can struggle through the rest of school.鈥� Nichols asserts that the best way to inspire a child to read is to model it for children: 鈥淲hether you鈥檙e reading a book, a newspaper or a tablet 鈥� let your kids see you reading.鈥�

Nichols鈥� wisdom on all things connected to elementary school education is hard-won. The idea for her book came about 12 years ago when her oldest child, now a senior in high school, was entering kindergarten. She looked around for a book that might guide her through her children鈥檚 early school years and came up empty. It was also a time when she had stopped working outside the home and got a bird鈥檚-eye view of the elementary school classroom by volunteering.

鈥淚 learned a lot as a parent volunteer in schools and on district committees,鈥� she noted. 鈥淏ut it wasn鈥檛 until I helped a parent write an email to a teacher that a light bulb went off for me that I could put everything I鈥檇 learned in a guide for parents on the elementary school years.鈥�

To that end, Nichols emphasizes that establishing a good relationship with a child鈥檚 teacher is another cornerstone of his education. 鈥淚 see our children鈥檚 elementary journey like a winding river,鈥� she said. 鈥淲e鈥檙e on one side of the bank and on the other side is the teacher with whom we鈥檙e partners. Each of us does our part.鈥� Nichols makes her metaphor concrete with basic suggestions: 鈥淒o your part,鈥� she asserts. 鈥淢ake sure your child has had breakfast and gets to school on time. Teachers notice those things. Don鈥檛 be the parent who gets in permission slips late. I鈥檓 also hearing of more and more teachers getting notes from parents that a child couldn鈥檛 do the homework because of a dance recital or lacrosse practice. Such conflicting expectations confuse kids in elementary school because they want to please both their parents and their teachers.鈥�

I鈥檝e always had ambivalent feelings about homework, which is ironic given how much of it my own children have done over the years. Nichols does not debate the value of homework for young children. Instead, she offers helpful suggestions for painlessly getting it done. Like everything suggested in the book, the key is organization and consistency. Establish a time and a place to do homework with your child. According to Nichols, 鈥� That place should be a happy one. Make it a fun destination with colorful pencils, cool puzzles or creative glue sticks. Our role as parents is to coach and guide, not to do or correct homework, which provides valuable feedback for a teacher.鈥�

Adam is a junior in high school. I鈥檓 grateful that I no longer supervise his homework, but I miss reading to him and his sister. Although Nichols focuses on younger children in her book, I can still write a thank-you note to his longtime academic advisor for helping my boy to self-advocate and step out of his comfort zone.

鈥淭eachers,鈥� says Nichols, 鈥渁ppreciate a genuine expression of thanks from parents or students more than anything.鈥�

海角大神 has assembled a diverse group of the best family and parenting bloggers out there. Our contributing and guest bloggers are not employed or directed by the Monitor, and the views expressed are the bloggers' own, as is responsibility for the content of their blogs. Judy Bolton-Fasman blogs at聽TheJudyChronicles.com.