海角大神

It鈥檚 the countdown to Mother鈥檚 Day 2012. And as a relatively new mom (this is only my second Mother鈥檚 Day, and during the first one I was too sleep deprived to notice anything) I鈥檓 wondering what one actually does on this holiday. From Position Mommy.

鈥淲ell what do you want to do?鈥� asked my sweet husband.

I looked at him blankly and shrugged.聽 Sleep?聽 Actually read the newspaper in dead tree form?聽 Go outside and hang out with my fam?

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I didn鈥檛 feel particularly inspired.

But luckily, even if I don鈥檛 know what I want for Mother鈥檚 Day, there have been plenty of email advertisements flooding my inbox this week with some suggestions.

Amazon.com might be the winner.聽 Its e-mail came early in the morning 鈥� one of the first things I saw pre-latte 鈥� and its title caught my eye.

鈥淪tephanie: What Moms Really Want,鈥� it beckoned.

Excellent.

So I clicked.聽

And the answer...聽

I swear I am not making this up, but the answer is apparently a聽vacuum cleaner. Really. That鈥檚 the main thing advertised on the site; the top item that Moms Really Want this Mother鈥檚 Day.聽

But don鈥檛 worry, there are other items on the 鈥渦ltimate gift guide: what Moms really want for Mother鈥檚 Day.鈥�

There鈥檚 a laptop ... that鈥檚 pink. There鈥檚 some CorningWare, Pyrex dishes, a sewing machine, and a 鈥渃ake decorating鈥� category that is illustrated by a pretty pastel pile of cupcakes.聽 (I am guessing that the point of this latter image is not that Moms Really Want cupcakes for Mother鈥檚 Day, although that actually sounds like a great idea.)

Anyhow ...聽 what鈥檚 up with this?聽 I mean, I admit, I鈥檓 all for a good cooking and cleaning product now and then. Photograph it Real Simple style and I鈥檓 sold. But really? What year is it?

The list continued.聽

Diamond stud earrings are what Moms Really Want, too.聽 Well, sure.

And then there鈥檚 the pi猫ce de r茅sistance.

On the Amazon 鈥渨hat Moms really want鈥� Mother鈥檚 Day list is ...聽 a breast pump.聽

Seriously.

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OK. A little piece of advice to the dads out there. Do not get your wife a breast pump for Mother鈥檚 Day. Trust me.

Worst. Idea. Ever.

So I am back to Square 1. And honestly, that鈥檚 OK. Because even if I'm still trying to decide what Mother's Day will mean for me, I know what I do want this year: my beautiful baby girl and her daddy.

And you can鈥檛 get that online.