海角大神

One of the greatest ironies of our time: Today鈥檚 women have inherited from their mothers the freedom to claim authority in the military, corporations, churches, the professions, politics, and higher education, but have been persuaded, largely by their own gender, to all but completely abdicate their authority over their children.

Sixty years ago this month, I entered first grade in Charleston, S.C. The class picture shows 50 children. There are no names under the picture save the teacher鈥檚, so I only know that 50 kids showed up the day the photo was taken. I am certain that my first grade teacher had fewer problems out of us during the entire school year than today鈥檚 first grade teacher, with half the number of students and an aide, is having during the first week or two of any given school year. Oh, and by the way, most of us early baby boomers came to grade one not knowing our ABCs, yet by the end of that first school year we were outperforming today鈥檚 kids (most of whom learn their ABCs at age 3 and have started reading by the time they enter first grade) in every subject. And we continued to do so through college. And our聽parents聽did not give us regular help with our homework!

The reason we learned so effectively within such 鈥渙vercrowded鈥� (and 鈥渦nderfunded鈥�) conditions is simple: We came to school having already learned that women possess a natural authority. We had already learned that when a woman said, 鈥淭his is the way it鈥檚 going to be,鈥� that was the way it was going to be. Period. Today鈥檚 kids do not come to school with these same understandings, and that, not IQ, is what defines a successful student.

Sixty years ago, the American child was afraid of his mother. Oh, and by the way, all the statistics clearly indicate that child mental health was a whole lot better back then than it is now. Being afraid of one鈥檚 mother (while at the same time secure in her unconditional love) is a good thing for both parties, but especially the child.

Being afraid of one鈥檚 mother has nothing to do with spanking, by the way. My mother (a single聽parent聽during most of my early years) never spanked. I don鈥檛 even remember her yelling. And yet, I was afraid of her. All she needed to do was look at me a certain way and my spine began tingling.

All too many of today鈥檚 mothers are afraid of their children. They are intimidated by their children鈥檚 tantrums, disrespect, disobedience, petulance, and so on. I submit that this, not any other 鈥渓iberation鈥� issue, is the biggest problem facing women today.

Women once wore their authority over their children like it was the most natural of habits. They no longer do. When they talk to their kids, they squat down and look like they鈥檙e petitioning the king for a favor. And they sound like it, too!

鈥淏illy, how about helping Mommy pick up these toys before the real estate agent gets over here, okay? Do you think you can help me with that like a big boy? How about if we do it together, and while we pick them up we can sing the 鈥業鈥檓 Helping Mommy鈥� song!鈥�

And then this same mother complains that her son doesn鈥檛 obey her. Fancy that!

It鈥檚 high time America鈥檚 mothers reclaimed the authority their grandmothers had over their children. They can start by giving instructions in ten words or less, as in 鈥淚t鈥檚 time for you to pick up these toys, now.鈥� And then, to the inevitable question, saying 鈥淏ecause I said so, that鈥檚 why.鈥�