How Apple Geniuses get inside our heads
Step into an Apple Store with a computer question, and you'll notice that the Geniuses have a peculiar way of empathizing with your situation before selling you new products. A leaked Apple training manual, uncovered by Gizmodo on Tuesday, shows the company's idiosyncratic approach to sales.
Step into an Apple Store with a computer question, and you'll notice that the Geniuses have a peculiar way of empathizing with your situation before selling you new products. A leaked Apple training manual, uncovered by Gizmodo on Tuesday, shows the company's idiosyncratic approach to sales.
Veteran Apple-watchers have often heard the phrase 鈥淩eality Distortion Field鈥� applied to the company and its products. It鈥檚 a tongue-in-cheek way of referring to the apparently magical sway that iPads and Macs hold over customers, and it鈥檚 never more apparent than when you walk into a gleaming Apple store. If you鈥檝e ever wondered how those blue-shirted Geniuses are so good at empathizing with you, then convincing you that you need a 17-inch Macbook Pro, you might be interested to learn that the Reality Distortion Field comes in book form.
On Tuesday Gizmodo revealed that it has a leaked copy of the Genius Student Training Workbook, Apple鈥檚 secret 14-day boot camp that mixes technical skills with self-help-style psychological tips designed to allow one to cheer up customers and solve Genius Bar confrontations.
It apparently leans pretty heavily toward the latter -- Gizmodo writer Sam Biddle says 鈥渁lmost the entire volume鈥� is dedicated to the psychology of sales. The manual, and the accompanying course, is designed to get trainees to embody the 鈥淕enius Actions and Characteristics,鈥� which include graceful education and persuasive recommendation. A happy customer is one who will buy more products, after all.
The most interesting part of the manual is the list of words that Apple employees shouldn鈥檛 say. Your computer didn鈥檛 鈥渂omb,鈥� 鈥渃rash,鈥� or 鈥渉ang,鈥� for example -- it 鈥渦nexpectedly quit鈥� or 鈥渟topped responding.鈥� And Geniuses aren鈥檛 in the business of fixing 鈥渂ugs鈥� -- they鈥檙e responding to 鈥渃onditions鈥� or even to 鈥渟ituations.鈥� The manual also adds that an Apple product is never hot -- at most, it鈥檚 鈥渨arm.鈥� (Remember back in 2006, when Apple recalled all those batteries after two users got burned by their laptops? Those must have been pretty "warm.")
The Genius Workbook also gives black-belt level instructions in setting mistaken customers straight, without actually telling them they鈥檙e mistaken. It all revolves around the phrase 鈥渢urns out,鈥� which makes it seem as though the customer and the Genius are stumbling upon the truth together. For example, if a customer mistakenly says, 鈥淭his OS isn't supported,鈥� the manual recommends that the Genius respond with, 鈥淵ou'd think not, wouldn't you. Turns out it is supported in this version.鈥�
If the volume has a dark side, it鈥檚 the prohibition on sympathy. Geniuses aren鈥檛 allowed to apologize directly to customers, even when Apple technology is at fault. At best, Gizmodo tells us, they can use phrases like 鈥淚鈥檓 sorry you鈥檙e feeling upset鈥� or 鈥渟orry about your soda-spill accident鈥� -- which seems like it would be cold comfort to someone who just lost a bunch of data to a hard drive crash (or, to put it in Genius terms, whose hard drive has 鈥渟topped responding鈥�). But as VentureBeat points out, Apple retail stores made $4.1 billion last quarter -- and people wouldn鈥檛 keep shopping there if they didn鈥檛 feel respected by the staff.
Readers, what do you think about the manual? Does it strike you as an effective way to build rapport with customers? Does it creep you out? Let us know in the comments section below.
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