海角大神

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Jessica Mendoza: This is Leslie Stevenson, a social studies teacher at Clifford J. Lawrence Junior High. It鈥檚 in the Clark County, Nevada, school district.

Laine Perfas: Leslie adores teaching, and truly enjoys working with her students. But for a while now she鈥檚 been struggling with the job as well. Call it a 鈥渓ove-stress鈥� relationship.听

Mendoza: When we met her in the spring of 2021 鈥� after more than a year of working in crisis mode 鈥� she was wondering: Had she finally reached her breaking point?聽

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Mendoza: I鈥檓 Jessica Mendoza.

Laine Perfas: And I鈥檓 Samantha Laine Perfas.

Mendoza: This is 鈥淪tronger.鈥澛�

Laine Perfas: We hear from six women about what they鈥檝e lost to this pandemic 鈥� and how they鈥檙e winning it back.

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Mendoza: In this episode: The Teacher.听

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Laine Perfas: For many educators across the U.S., the pandemic was a challenge like no other. By the time we started talking to Leslie in late spring of this year, she and her boyfriend Jeff were having conversations about leaving her teaching job 鈥撀爋r maybe the field altogether.

Mendoza: We know that teaching is hard work, pandemic or not. For Leslie, her school was often understaffed, the teachers overworked and underpaid. She and her coworkers often had to deal with demands that weren鈥檛 really what people sign up for when they decide to teach 鈥� like constantly having to work after-hours and navigating blurred boundaries. And those things left her feeling disillusioned, and spent.听

Laine Perfas: At one point, Leslie was teaching at Canyon Springs High School. She said a lot of the students there struggled with behavioral issues. And they needed significant support. She reached out to her principal 鈥�

Mendoza: in the fall of 2018. The . He was 18.

Laine Perfas: This kind of experience would be devastating for anyone. For Leslie, there was also the added trauma of being the mother of a Black son.听

Laine Perfas: It would be a pretty big understatement to say it was difficult for Leslie to go back and teach after that. Her adult son encourages her to keep showing up for her students. She also feels very strongly about making a difference for her kids聽鈥� that鈥檚 her term of endearment for the students in her classes. It鈥檚 what keeps her coming back to the classroom despite all the challenges that have been thrown her way. And it鈥檚 also what got her into teaching in the first place.听

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Mendoza: Because Leslie had actually resisted it for a long time. She didn鈥檛 become an educator until she was in her 40s.

Mendoza: But she got pregnant at 20, and she wound up putting law school on hold. Instead 鈥�

Laine Perfas: She especially loved seeing how she could change lives, just by being there for her students.

Laine Perfas: And so, she stuck it out. Leslie has now been teaching for about 7 years.听

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Mendoza: Leslie鈥檚 not unique, having this 鈥� earlier we called it a 鈥渓ove-stress鈥� relationship with teaching. On the one hand, like most people who go into education, she wants to make a difference in kids鈥� lives.

Laine Perfas: This is especially true for Black educators like Leslie, who work mostly with students from communities of color.听

Mendoza: This is Tonya Walls. She studies racial equity in teacher education, focusing specifically on Southern Nevada.听

Mendoza: There鈥檚 also a long history of parents and administrators showing in Black educators. In some cases, that really came out in remote learning during the pandemic.听聽

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Laine Perfas: In other words, like with so much else, the pandemic has made teaching even more fraught. Especially for the Leslies of the world, who already had so much to deal with even outside of the classroom.听

Mendoza: In the months leading up to the pandemic, Leslie鈥檚 father had been sick. One night in March 2020, she was spending some time with him at the hospital 鈥撀�

Mendoza: On March 17th, Gov. Steve Sisolak lockdown restrictions for the whole state. Leslie stayed with her dad while trying to manage remote learning for the first time.听

Laine Perfas: 鈥� and it was chaos. Nobody knew what to expect or what remote school would look like 鈥� or how long it would go on for. Some kids and families adjusted relatively easily, but others had no interest in making it work 鈥� or at least, that鈥檚 how it felt to Leslie. She had one student 鈥�

Mendoza: This was the start of what would turn out to be a new level of hard for Leslie.听

Laine Perfas: There was new tech to learn on the fly 鈥�

Mendoza: And then of course boundaries started to blur 鈥�

Laine Perfas: All this has taken its toll on Leslie, physically, emotionally, mentally.

Mendoza: And she鈥檚 come to realize, it鈥檚 not sustainable 鈥撀爊ot for her, not for any teacher.

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Laine Perfas: The tension in Leslie鈥檚 voice is just 鈥撀燼h. So hard to hear. I mean, we鈥檇 hoped things would be looking up for her when we went to see her in Vegas. And in some ways they were. Except鈥� well, stick around to hear about it, after the break.

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Mendoza: So the last we heard from Leslie, she didn鈥檛 know what she was going to do. Would she stay at her school, stay in education? Was the pandemic really the last straw for her? She was clearly struggling with the decision.听

Laine Perfas: But the place she shares with Jeff, in southwest Vegas 鈥� it shows us the person she actually is, when she鈥檚 not buckling under the pressure of her job. Their home is set up to host gatherings, with lounge areas for watching sports and a big backyard pool. And the d茅cor is a blend of Afrocentric art 鈥�

Mendoza: 鈥� a nod to Jeff鈥檚 Afro-Cubano heritage 鈥�

Laine Perfas: 鈥� and what Leslie describes as a modern farmhouse twist 鈥�

Mendoza: 鈥� a callout to her mom鈥檚 southern Illinois roots.

Laine Perfas: Sooo, for our dear listeners who also don鈥檛 get to see us, we鈥檙e both 5-foot-3. And though we look very professional and grown up with all of our gear 鈥�

Mendoza: 鈥� we often get mistaken for children. Anyway, Leslie ushered us into her home and straight to the kitchen.

Laine Perfas: There were pets! Leslie has three dogs: Rebel, Roxy, and Raider. She kind of had to either lock them up or send them off to keep them away from us in their excitement.听

Mendoza: Love dogs. But also food. And there was Jeff, who we鈥檇 been told was a whiz in the kitchen.听

Mendoza: That spread though!聽Besides the mac and cheese 鈥�

Laine Perfas: 鈥� which was very tasty 鈥撀�

Mendoza: 鈥� there was deviled egg potato salad, spicy bratwursts, baked beans. And then Leslie brought out this huge box of cookies 鈥� or maybe more accurate to say a box of huge cookies.听

Laine Perfas: Yeah, each one was like, literally the size of my face.听

Mendoza: But we were not to be distracted! We were there for Leslie, after all.听

Mendoza: Leslie, for the record, was 49, about to turn 50, when we met her. We have no doubts she鈥檇 crush law school.

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Laine Perfas: Hold up. We were like鈥�. Leslie!! That鈥檚 great news, way to bury the lede! This woman, I tell you what. She did say, law school isn鈥檛 totally off the table. But at least for one more year, she鈥檒l stick with teaching.

Mendoza: Which is so great! The new school, Sierra Vista High School, seemed like a great gig: The administration there seemed to really value its teachers鈥� independence; and Leslie鈥檚 wanted to go back into high school for awhile (she鈥檚 been teaching junior high). Plus, the new school would be closer to her home. And like she said way at the start of this episode, something had to give.听

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Laine Perfas: It鈥檚 a feeling so many of us have had throughout the pandemic. Hoping that things can and will get better, and working towards that, but not quite trusting it鈥檒l happen until it does. And in Leslie鈥檚 case, it turned out she was right to be skeptical.

Mendoza: After we left Vegas, we learned that she and the administration at Sierra Vista, the new school, had gone back and forth on what classes she would teach. The discussion had gone on for weeks. There were a couple classes they wanted to assign her that Leslie really didn鈥檛 to want to do. Eventually they reached a compromise. And in the fall, she鈥檒l be teaching seniors both U.S. Government and the African American Experience. Leslie鈥檚 pretty happy about that, but the whole exchange left her exhausted.听

Laine Perfas: Still 鈥� the last we spoke, she鈥檇 transitioned to Sierra Vista and was helping out with summer school. So far, so good. At least for now. In so many ways, this past year has proved to her what she鈥檚 believed all along: that the system needs to change. And yet here she is, giving it at least another year, hoping to make an impact on one more cohort of students. We had to ask her:聽why do you keep doing this even though you are so obviously exhausted?

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Mendoza: Later, Leslie showed us a picture of her mom 鈥� she鈥檚 a beautiful woman, and Leslie looks a lot like her. And after hearing Leslie鈥檚 story, we thought that maybe they鈥檙e not so different on the inside, either.听

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Laine Perfas: Boundaries are hard, Jess, I think we鈥檝e all learned during this last year of Zoom, remote work, trying to manage life at home.听

Mendoza: Totally.

Laine Perfas: So good on Leslie for starting the process of setting those boundaries, and trying to stick to them. But it鈥檚 tough, right? When you care so deeply about your job and want to make an impact, it can be hard to say no, or speak up when you鈥檙e not being supported.听

Mendoza: Yeah, especially for women. In other episodes, Sam, you and I talk a lot about how the pandemic is this huge reminder that there is a long road ahead before we can get to a place where our society is working equitably. And to me, Leslie鈥檚 story shows us where some of those holes are that we need to fix. Like, what are we doing for the people at the front lines, you know? People like teachers, who are showing up every day even when they鈥檙e burnt out? It feels like something we should be thinking about as we recover.听 聽聽

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Laine Perfas: Before we left, we asked Leslie if she had any parting thoughts. Of all the things we鈥檇 talked about for months 鈥� her exhaustion, frustration, hopes for change 鈥� what kept her going? What gave her the motivation to keep making it work?

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Laine Perfas: Thanks for joining us! Next time on 鈥淪tronger鈥�: Two young sisters struggle to balance family responsibility and their own goals and dreams.听

Mendoza: It鈥檒l be our last episode, so please join us! And if you like this series, please rate and review us. You can find all our episodes by searching for 鈥淪tronger鈥� on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, and Stitcher. Or visit csmonitor.com/stronger.听聽

Laine Perfas: This episode was reported and produced by me, Samantha Laine Perfas.听

Mendoza: And me, Jessica Mendoza.

Laine Perfas: Edited by Clay Collins and Trudy Palmer. Sound design by Morgan Anderson and Noel Flatt.听

Mendoza: Additional audio elements from , , .

Laine Perfas: Brought to you by 海角大神, copyright 2021.

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