海角大神

Since the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, the United States has been locked in a tense standoff over race. The surge of social justice protests聽this summer have created a public platform for Black Americans to share their experiences with racism and discrimination, prompting many white Americans to consider implicit bias and privilege in new ways. Phillip and Nancy Hunt, like many interracial couples, have been grappling with these issues for years. This is their story, as told to Tianna Faulkner.

Mr. and Ms. Hunt grew up in vastly different worlds; he on Chicago鈥檚 South Side, she in the conservative Midwest in Missouri. But their hearts found each other. They have been together for 22 years, married for seven.

鈥淲e came from different environments, but we were raised the exact same way and were both heavily influenced by our grandparents,鈥� says Mr. Hunt. 鈥淲e have the same values. I didn鈥檛 see color. We just really connected.鈥�

They don鈥檛 have children together, but have children from previous relationships. Mr. Hunt鈥檚 ex-wife is African American and Mrs. Hunt was previously in another interracial relationship.聽

Growing up, both Mr. and Mrs. Hunt were both taught not to hate people who didn鈥檛 look like them. In raising their own children, discussions are more nuanced. They talk more overtly about race and Black history. The children, a black daughter and a bi-racial son, are encouraged to explore their racial identities but also to define themselves in other ways, apart from race. The children鈥檚 schools are also very diverse and have enabled them to get to know people like themselves, as well as other cultures.聽

Learning about each other鈥檚 families and cultures is one of the things that Mrs. Hunt has most enjoyed about being in an interracial relationship.聽

Outside the home, the couple is always alert to the possibility that others may not be welcoming of their family. They pick where they go carefully and try to surround themselves with like-minded people as much as possible. Fortunately, their community has been welcoming.

鈥淒e Moines, Iowa, is pretty friendly to interracial couples,鈥� says Mrs. Hunt. 鈥淚t鈥檚 a liberal city. It鈥檚 accepted here.鈥�

But being an interracial couple also comes with its challenges, particularly when traveling.

鈥淥ne time we stopped in a restaurant in a suburb of Chicago,鈥� says Mr. Hunt. 鈥淭he stares, the looks, that vibe, it was a little uncomfortable.鈥�

When the couple was visiting Atlanta a few years ago, a baggage claim worker at the airport felt the need to point out that he didn鈥檛 see many interracial couples in the area.聽

Once on a trip to visit Mrs. Hunt鈥檚 parents, the couple was stopped by police in Jackson, Arkansas. The encounter made her a 鈥渓ittle nervous.鈥� But for her husband, the incident felt more ominous.

鈥淏eing with Phillip made me understand what privileges I had that I hadn鈥檛 even recognized in the past. I know I鈥檓 treated differently because I am white,鈥� said Mrs. Hunt. 鈥淭here are experiences that Black people have that white people don鈥檛, even with a basic traffic stop for example. I fear for my son, husband, and daughter.鈥澛�

Growing up in a small rural area, Ms Hunt didn鈥檛 know anyone Black until after she left home as a young adult. Mr. Hunt鈥檚 childhood experience was the exact opposite.

鈥淕rowing up in Chicago, everything I saw was Black,鈥� says Mr. Hunt. 鈥淚 moved to Iowa. I didn鈥檛 have any radical thinking. I didn鈥檛 set out to only date black women. I wasn鈥檛 raised to hate.鈥�

But society hasn鈥檛 embraced the idea of their union quite as readily and the stereotypes that people have about interracial couples take a toll.聽

鈥淎 stereotype I can鈥檛 stand is the one where people say a Black man is with a white woman for money,鈥� says Mr. Hunt.

鈥淎 stereotype I don鈥檛 like is that I鈥檓 considered being weak for being with a Black man,鈥� says Mrs. Hunt.

Such stereotypes and biases can be particularly difficult to deal with when they come from family. Mr. Hunt has had to explicitly tell some of his family members, 鈥淚f you are going to be a part of my life, accept it or keep it moving. Accept me and accept my wife.鈥�

Mrs. Hunt has dealt with family members posting hurtful messages on social media. 鈥淲e got into a big argument,鈥� she says. 鈥淚t was very hurtful to me, my son, and his other black cousins.鈥�

Despite these differences, the families have been able to gather together with minimal conflict. 鈥淲e don鈥檛 allow it to be a problem,鈥� says Mr. Hunt. 鈥淚鈥檓 just not going to allow it.鈥�

Mrs. Hunt has sent a similar message to her family.

鈥淚 tell my family to respect my husband and to keep their feelings to themselves,鈥� she says. 鈥淥ur extended family doesn鈥檛 get together too much, but our parents get along fine.鈥�

When searching for hope, they look no further than each other. Their love is a testament to the possibility for the future. Mrs. Hunt hopes that more people can learn to see value in diversity and accept cultural differences as positives rather than negatives.聽

鈥淲e need to listen to each other,鈥� says Ms. Hunt. 鈥淢y hope is that we can accept and believe people when they say they experience something different.鈥�

She hopes that others will feel as free to love whomever they want as she and her husband have.

鈥淲e鈥檙e not advocates for interracial relationships,鈥� said Ms. Hunt. 鈥淲e鈥檙e just two people who love each other.鈥�