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From a young age, I knew what a burden credit card debt could be. For a time, while my dad was in grad school, my parents supported our family on scholarship money and a carousel of low-interest and balance transfer credit cards. It took them years to pay off the card balances.

But as stressful as I knew the debt was for them, my parents never seemed ashamed of it. They didn鈥檛 avoid talking about their credit card balances, and they didn鈥檛 shy away from reading their monthly statements. Instead, they looked for the best terms available and focused on paying down the debt quickly. And in doing so, they taught me one of the most valuable financial lessons I鈥檝e ever learned: The best way to get rid of debt is to face it head-on.

But the shame we feel about our debt can make that a difficult task. About 39% of U.S. consumers with credit card debt said they strongly agreed or somewhat agreed with the statement that they felt ashamed of their credit card debt, according to a recent聽NerdWallet study聽conducted by Harris Poll. For some, that shame might stop them from negotiating with their lenders or building a debt-payoff plan, options they can鈥檛 afford to ignore; the average indebted household carries about $15,355 in credit card debt, according to NerdWallet.

Own the situation

Debt has long been stigmatized, but credit card debt, it seems, is even more so. About 70% of people think that credit card debt carries more of a stigma than other types of debt, the NerdWallet study found.

But shame won鈥檛 help you get out of debt faster, says Dr. Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist who studies how people interact with money. In his research, Klontz found that shame was related to a behavior called 鈥渕oney avoidance.鈥� When people feel ashamed of their financial decisions, they might start to ignore their finances, instead of taking steps to turn things around. This isn鈥檛 the same as feeling guilty about debt, Klontz notes.

鈥淕uilt is actually really good for you,鈥� says Klontz. 鈥淚t tells you that you made a mistake and need to fix it. Shame tells you, 鈥業 am a mistake.鈥欌��

That鈥檚 where people can get stuck, he adds. Instead of spurring you to action, shame makes you shut down. Relationships can suffer; debts continue to grow.

Take action

Because my parents weren鈥檛 ashamed of their debt, they were able to pay it off much more quickly. They were always looking for new ways to save on interest, transferring balances when it saved them money.

Twenty or so years later, when I was paying off $12,000 of my own credit card debt, I realized what an extraordinary thing that was. It can sometimes be challenging to look for the best terms when you鈥檙e weighed down by a five-figure debt.

Feeling ashamed about debt can come at a high price, says Jonathan DeYoe, a financial advisor and a blogger at聽Happiness Dividend. In his experience, clients who feel ashamed about their debt are less likely to negotiate with their lenders. Sometimes, they鈥檙e hesitant to mention the debt even to him. As a result, they sometimes end up overpaying in interest.

鈥淲hen you feel shame, you shut down. It鈥檚 a closing-in feeling, not a reaching-out,鈥� DeYoe says. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e not looking for a way to negotiate, or a way to get help.鈥�

The good news is, getting help may be easier than it seems.

Banks are generally willing to work with you if you鈥檙e facing extreme financial pressure and consolidating your debt isn鈥檛 an option, DeYoe says. If you call your bank and explain your situation, you may be able to put a temporary hold on payments, late fees and penalties. Agreements like these usually require a lot of paperwork and reporting, and could hurt your credit in some cases. But if it saves you from bankruptcy, it could be worth the trouble.

And you don鈥檛 necessarily need to haggle with your creditors to get better terms. If you have a good or excellent credit score, for instance, you could apply for a聽0% APR balance transfer credit card聽online, and move your high-interest balances onto that card without even picking up the phone. Some cards offer 21 months of 0% balance transfer APR, potentially saving you thousands of dollars. Alternatively, you could apply for a low-interest聽debt consolidation loan, if you鈥檙e trying to pay down a larger balance or you want more structured payments. The better your credit score, the lower your interest rate on these loans will be.

Let go of shame

If you want to let go of your shame about debt, you first have to accept that your financial decisions probably made sense to you at the time, given your beliefs about money, Klontz says. That doesn鈥檛 mean that you had the right information, or that you made the right decision, he adds, but it certainly means that you can learn from your mistakes.

In a聽2008 study, Klontz and a team of psychologists found that people could reduce their sense of shame about debt by figuring out where their beliefs about money came from, and questioning those beliefs.

鈥淎 big part of it was cognitive behavioral therapy, where you鈥檙e looking at your own beliefs about money like a scientist and asking yourself what鈥檚 working and what isn鈥檛,鈥� Klontz says. At the end of the study, patients who went through this type of treatment reported signs of reduced anxiety, including 鈥渄iminished feelings of inadequacy鈥� and 鈥渋ncreased hope.鈥�

If you鈥檙e trying to change the way you think about money, you don鈥檛 necessarily need to see a therapist. You can start by reflecting on your attitudes toward money and how your financial decisions affect your life. This way, you can separate your self-worth from your credit card balances.

Letting go of shame is difficult. It takes practice. But once you leave the shame behind, you鈥檒l be able to focus on the next step: paying off your credit card debt.

鈥淚t鈥檚 a matter of pragmatism,鈥� DeYoe says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 saying, 鈥業 have this debt. I have to deal with this debt. This shame won鈥檛 help me deal with this debt.鈥欌��

This article first appeared at NerdWallet.