A father-daughter bond forged by meals and memories
Bonny Reichert鈥檚 鈥滺ow To Share an Egg鈥 celebrates the survival of her Jewish family, measured in joyous family dinners.
Bonny Reichert鈥檚 鈥滺ow To Share an Egg鈥 celebrates the survival of her Jewish family, measured in joyous family dinners.
Two starving boys, fleeing the Nazis in 1945, sharing a single raw egg.
This poignant image serves as a symbol of a Jewish family鈥檚 survival and resilience in 鈥淗ow To Share an Egg: A True Story of Hunger, Love, and Plenty鈥 by Bonny Reichert.
In the memoir, she attempts to reconcile the聽privileges of her middle-class 1970s upbringing with the wartime deprivations faced by her father and his cousin.聽
Reichert鈥檚 father emigrated to Edmonton, Alberta, in 1947 as a war orphan. He took up his new life with gusto: In his 20s, he started restaurants, married, and eventually had a family.
Reichert was the fourth and youngest child and the closest to her father. While she knew that he had been born in Poland, had lived in a prison camp, and had lost most of his family in the war, she didn鈥檛 know the full story. He preferred to celebrate the comforts that their family enjoyed 鈥 with food at the center.聽
As Reichert writes about her childhood memory of the family at mealtime:聽
Was there a dark edge of trauma in Dad鈥檚 hunger? If I was told I couldn鈥檛 get up from the table until I finished what was on my plate, it didn鈥檛 upset me much. ... He didn鈥檛 say the kinds of things he could have: Don鈥檛 you know how lucky you are? I would鈥檝e killed for this food during the war. But somehow, my sisters and I knew. We just knew. We understood food was connected to the meaning of life itself; an understanding woven into our very being.聽
So deep is Reichert鈥檚 sense of food being a key to the meaning of her life and her Jewish identity that she enters culinary school to become a chef. The culinary training becomes part of an elaborate, if not always conscious, life plan to deepen her understanding of her identity as well as that of her father.
For all the food imagery infusing聽Reichert鈥檚 book, there is an underlying sense that within this book is layered another and different book. She initially fantasizes about, but doesn鈥檛 create, 鈥渁 book about the way food made me see the world.鈥 Instead, her memoir delves into the nourishing love she and her father unconditionally offer each other, despite the lingering trauma of the Holocaust. Reichert, whose family often chided her for being 鈥渢he sensitive one鈥 of the four daughters, feels her father鈥檚 boyhood struggles on a visceral level. Watching movies about the Holocaust makes her ill. She becomes nauseous when her father eventually begins to tell his stories about the war.聽
But their bond helps Reichert catalyze her own hard-won self-love. And their regard for each other enables her to repeatedly visit the Polish locales where her father鈥檚 life was irrevocably changed. By reentering the geography of her father鈥檚 youth, she comes to understand and appreciate both his minority identity and hers as Jews. It also enables her to appreciate the roots of his overprotectiveness.聽
Portions of Reichert鈥檚 memoir are focused on her own story without her father or the Holocaust taking center stage. She writes about her marriages (the first unsuccessful, the second fulfilling), motherhood, and career changes. Yet the book circles back to the intense and complex bond between daughter and father, both food mavens, and in a certain sense, survivors whose love of life proves ultimately to be intact.聽
When her father was 84 years old, they took a family trip to Poland. It was a trip that Reichert had initially tried to talk herself out of doing, while her father kept encouraging her to go. In a moving description of the impact of the visit, she writes:聽
Dad is sitting at the window, looking down at Warsaw. He stands up and smiles at me when I come over, and I鈥檓 struck by those dimples and the ... crease above his right eye. 鈥淭hank you,鈥 I say, wrapping my hands around his generous middle. He smells of comfort and stability. 鈥淭his was really something.鈥
That could well be a reader鈥檚 assessment of this richly layered memoir. From a single egg eaten in haste to opulent meals shared freely, Reichert charts her family鈥檚 passage through brutality and聽antisemitism toward a greater understanding of the past. For Reichert, it鈥檚 a continuing journey of discovery.