海角大神

Maybe you yawned when you听听that the e-mail addresses and passwords of more than 100 million LinkedIn users were put up for sale on the Dark Web.听After all, security breaches like these are becoming so common that they鈥檙e barely newsworthy.

But this time, at least some folks at LinkedIn really听should听hang their heads in shame.听If LinkedIn is such a powerful, effective sales channel, why is the hacker known as Peace 鈥� who's reportedly听selling the LinkedIn trove 鈥� trying to pull off this sale for听

The only possible explanation is that Peace hasn鈥檛 yet read any of LinkedIn鈥檚 many blog posts, articles, and ebooks on the awesome, revenue-generating power of LinkedIn鈥檚 "social selling."

So, we're offering Peace some advice based on听:

'Create an effective executive profile'

Listing your most epic hacks may cut it on the Dark Web, but as the corporate marketing gurus warn, "don鈥檛 let your LinkedIn profile read like a resume."

Skip LinkedIn鈥檚 advice to upload a professional photo (hello, law enforcement!) and just follow their guidance to tell "the story of you."

Your听experience pwning websites is really going to pay off when you get to writing your profile, because the typical LinkedIn page (鈥淟eading sales enablement officer and brand influencer, Smithville 7/11鈥�) looks a lot like a classic website defacement (鈥淭his site dominated by the world鈥檚 greatest hacking crew鈥�).

Taking a cue from typical LinkedIn profiles, you might try describing yourself as "Global leader in enterprise-scale data sales 鈥� F1000 username specialist."

'Efficiently connect with the people that matter'

The marketing hordes follow this advice by logging into LinkedIn after every conference or meet-up, and sending a connection request to every sucker who dared to hand over a business card. If you think听that听counts as efficient, see how many people you can connect with when you鈥檝e got direct access to millions of user accounts!

Forgot waiting and waiting for an answer to each connection request; just write a script to send requests to all the users you鈥檝e hacked, and then write a second script that uses your database to log into each account and accept the requests.听

'Follow your customers' activity in real time'

LinkedIn recommends that you "[k]eep tabs on your contacts鈥� interests and updates so you can remain top of mind."

Welcome to the nightmare of visiting LinkedIn three times a day, just so you can comment on the latest random link shared by somebody who somewhere, someday听might听consider taking a sales call.

Well lucky you: You鈥檙e not听limited to updates as a source of customer insight! Try running each听username and password through Gmail, Amazon, and Facebook to get the real-time insights you need.

You don鈥檛 really know your customers until you鈥檝e read the secret Facebook chat they鈥檙e having with their high school girlfriend. And to stay top-of-mind, consider snagging an e-mail or incriminating photo that you can post on the Internet: nothing will do more to make your customers receptive to your message than the realization that you have full access to their darkest secrets.

'Reach people directly and more credibly with InMail'

LinkedIn wants salespeople to use its built-in听messaging system as a way of reaching out to sales prospects. LinkedIn users are all too familiar with getting messages from people desperate to set up calls to 鈥渄iscuss how we can work together to unleash your next growth opportunity," so nobody will be surprised to hear that you鈥檝e got something special to sell them.

That鈥檚 why you need to use your special talents to stand out from the crowd 鈥� and thanks to the direct access you have to your prospects' online accounts, you're in an听unusually good position to follow their advice to "[i]dentify something personal about the person that you can reference in the message.鈥�

Here鈥檚 what your InMail message to prospects might say:

Dear [insert first name],听

Thanks so much for accepting my connection request. [Pause while听First Name听scratches his head and thinks听that鈥檚 weird, I don鈥檛 remember accepting a connection request.]听

I wanted to reach out to you with an exciting business opportunity. Based on your relationships with [insert 3 names scraped from their contact list], I know how much you care about engaging with your customers and growing your market听鈥� and how much you care about [insert incriminating interest gleaned from听First Name鈥檚听email or Facebook history].

That鈥檚 why I want to give you the chance to get exclusive access to a untapped wealth of potential customers 鈥� customers you can reach directly from听inside their own inboxes!听For just $2,200, we鈥檒l provide you with the usernames and passwords of more than 100 million people who are just waiting to buy your product. Now, they won鈥檛 have to wait, because you can use those usernames and passwords to log onto Amazon, Walmart, Ebay or wherever else you鈥檇 like them to start buying.

This unique opportunity won鈥檛 last long: to ensure a quality experience, we鈥檒l only accept the first 100,000 orders we receive.

Sincerely, Peace

P.S. For a small additional fee, we can also teach you how to protect yourself from these opportunities in the future.

P.P.S. Follow me on Twitter! @LinkedInHackerz听

Of course, the sales tips that LinkedIn provides aren鈥檛 intended for hackers.听They鈥檙e intended for the millions of sales people who use LinkedIn to build their prospect lists and close deals.

But perhaps this hack can serve as a reminder to everyone using LinkedIn, and anyone thinking about signing up for the network.听Yes, you can and听should听secure your online accounts by using unique passwords and two-factor authentication. But here鈥檚 an听even more radical way to protect your online security: Think twice before joining every single听social听network that comes calling.听听

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