鈥楾hank you鈥� matters: Why a stronger society starts with your bus driver
| London
It鈥檚 tough to ask people for money.
As a London bus driver, Maurice must shepherd passengers who try to dodge the card reader. His requests have drawn expletives and aggression.聽
鈥淢ore people want to fight lately because they don鈥檛 have money [to pay the fare],鈥� says Maurice, who declined to give his last name for privacy reasons. 鈥淭here鈥檚 a cost-of-living crisis. ... It鈥檚 gotten worse.鈥�
Why We Wrote This
A story focused onSaying hello can go a long way in building social connections, and researchers in London found a simple way to encourage such behavior. But their study raises questions about the barriers modern humans face in creating community.
So when a group of academics and transport officials tried to improve driver-passenger relations, Maurice was skeptical. The research group chose 150 London buses and placed stickers on the windows prompting passengers to say 鈥渉i鈥� and 鈥渢hank you.鈥� For several months, it stationed observers to watch for changes.聽聽
After the signs went up, more people acknowledged Graham Nelson, who steers the No. 211 between Hammersmith and Waterloo. Some even said thank you.
鈥淚t鈥檚 not life-changing, but it does make you feel better,鈥� says Mr. Nelson, who鈥檚 been a bus driver for about a decade. 鈥淚t鈥檚 normally pretty grim.鈥�
More people did say hello overall after the signs went up, bumping interactions between drivers and passengers about 30%. That鈥檚 significant enough that researchers believe these methods could be deployed elsewhere to promote stronger social connection.
Essential workers come across so many people on a day-to-day basis, and they present huge, untapped potential for connection, says Grainne O鈥橠wyer, senior program manager of Neighbourly Lab, a research nonprofit that partnered on the study.
鈥淪mall interactions matter, and they are a bedrock on which you can build,鈥� says Ms. O鈥橠wyer. 鈥淐ommunities can support themselves if they鈥檙e more resilient and work together, and feel they have someone to rely on. ... There鈥檚 lots of value in social connection.鈥�
Pat Engele has taught her children to acknowledge their bus driver since they were practically in diapers.
鈥淭hey鈥檙e everyday people like the rest of us, and it just makes the job a lot easier if someone greets you in the morning,鈥� says Ms. Engele. 鈥淲hen we get off, we say thank you.鈥�
Over the years, her boys have gotten to know the drivers on the route between home and school. 鈥淲e have a rapport with them,鈥� she says. 鈥淲e鈥檝e built that relationship over the years聽鈥� my eldest is 16.鈥�
Imagine if people developed similar rapport elsewhere in their community, says Ms. O鈥橠wyer of Neighbourly Lab.
A shopkeeper might see 100 or 200 people come through their door every day. A street sweeper might walk past 300 people. A grocery store worker will see even more. These are all networks of untapped potential, she says.
鈥淭here鈥檚 growing evidence that social connection has value,鈥� says Ms. O鈥橠wyer. 鈥淚t鈥檚 also just a very basic human need to say, 鈥業 feel respected. I feel seen.鈥� And very simple nudges that you can put in context that can have a big, big impact.鈥�
Like the sign on the bus, for example. In that study, the stickers were installed on driver entry and exit doors on buses across London. Just reminding passengers to greet the drivers prompted 140 million more interactions between drivers and passengers, says Ms. O鈥橠wyer, whose study was jointly undertaken by Transport for London and the University of Sussex.
What鈥檚 next for behavioral scientists is to figure out what makes such interactions so rare. The 鈥渞eward circuitry鈥� of the brain encourages connection, says Nicholas Epley, a behavioral scientist and psychologist at the University of Chicago.
鈥淚f you feel better saying hi to your bus driver, why don鈥檛 people do it more?鈥� asks Dr. Epley.
Society shapes how one is expected to interact in public. But there鈥檚 also the fear of the unknown, says Dr. Epley.
鈥淩eaching out聽鈥� it鈥檚 a little like going into the ocean when there could be sharks. Our brains aren鈥檛 very good at handling uncertainty. Even a small dose of it can cause us to be reluctant to do things,鈥� he says.
Dr. Epley calls this disconnect a 鈥渇undamental paradox at the core of human life.鈥�
鈥淲e鈥檙e happier and healthier when we reach out and engage with other people. And yet in so many parts of daily life, we seem reluctant,鈥� he says. 鈥淎nd that鈥檚 a real puzzle.鈥�
Ultimately, to be successful in life聽鈥� as a person, a government, an economy, or a society聽鈥� one must be constantly cooperating. And that relies on trust, says Dr. Epley.
Driving a car without crashing into another depends on everyone following the rules, for example. Feelings such as guilt or remorse that prompt a morality toward others also help prompt cooperation among nonkin, he explains.
鈥淭hat is so important for our success and our survival on this planet, that it鈥檚 built into us as an evolutionary mechanism,鈥� says Dr. Epley.
As for Maurice back at the Hammersmith bus station, as he takes a break between shifts, he doesn鈥檛 mind the hellos. But what he鈥檇 really like? 鈥淲ages. More money.鈥�
