Can an unlikely love story overcome divisions in Colombia?
| Bogot谩, Colombia
In an office overlooking the high-rise buildings of downtown Bogot谩, on a recent afternoon, a married couple sit holding hands and laughing playfully. They make an unusual match.
He is the son of V铆ctor Julio Su谩rez Rojas, better known as 鈥淢ono Jojoy,鈥� one of the most feared commanders of the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC), a now-defunct Marxist guerrilla group. He fought alongside his father in the jungle, but laid down his arms in 2016 as part of the contentious peace agreement between the FARC and the Colombian government. He remains a leftist at heart.
She is a right-wing influencer and a staunch ally of former President 脕lvaro Uribe, a conservative who waged a brutal crackdown on the guerrillas. Her family lost its fortune during the decadeslong conflict, living in constant fear of bombings and kidnappings. This is partly why she voted no in the 2016 referendum, against a peace deal with the FARC.
Why We Wrote This
Colombia is mired in decades of civil conflict and a culture of pessimism and distrust. Could an unlikely romance between a former guerrilla and a right-wing influencer change that?
Politically, they could not be more different. Yet, despite ideological divides, Jorge and Catalina Su谩rez are united by love. After more than six decades of conflict and deeply ingrained stereotypes about 鈥渢he other鈥� in countries in the world, this couple鈥檚 ability to find common ground is no small feat. It鈥檚 something they hope their compatriots can learn to emulate.
鈥淢arrying Catalina changed my life. Not my ideas,鈥� Mr. Su谩rez says. 鈥淲e feel our differences enrich each of us.鈥� The duo say they constantly talk politics, but part of the success of their relationship is that they don鈥檛 try to conclude who is right or wrong.
Love versus 鈥渄eep pain鈥�
Colombia celebrated eight years since the peace deal with the FARC late last year. A handful of armed groups and dozens of criminal gangs continue to kill, kidnap, and extort nationwide, however, and although Gustavo Petro, Colombia鈥檚 first leftist president, has promised 鈥渢otal peace,鈥� divisions are still front and center more than halfway into his presidency.
Ms. Su谩rez recalls growing up amid constant threats to her safety. Her family was extorted by guerrilla fighters, and she says she bears the deep scars of bombings, kidnappings, and killings in her country, many of which she blames on the FARC. 鈥淓veryone speaks from their own experiences; in mine, there were security difficulties. I have seen my family being extorted,鈥� Ms. Su谩rez says.
鈥淢ore than distrust, there was a deep pain from the damage that so many Colombians, including myself, lived through because of who the FARC were,鈥� she says.
Mr. Su谩rez is scarred, too. He vividly recalls the day in 2010 when he learned his father had been killed in a military bombing in his bunker in the jungle, just 500 feet from where Mr. Su谩rez had been sleeping.
Since Mr. Su谩rez signed on to the peace deal and demobilized from the FARC, he has forgiven those who killed his father. He says peace requires second chances. He believes his father would be proud of the decisions he has made since his death, including his marriage to Ms. Su谩rez.
Ms. Su谩rez鈥檚 upbringing made her a devout supporter of Mr. Uribe, the country鈥檚 right-wing president from 2002 to 2010. She was in high school when Mr. Uribe came to power, and she remembers feeling that 鈥渃ompanies started to rise again; investor confidence returned. ... People no longer feared traveling on the roads; kidnappings were no longer happening on every corner.鈥�
Mr. Uribe鈥檚 foil is in many ways the current president, Mr. Petro, who used to be a guerrilla himself in the M-16, a Marxist group. Mr. Petro is the leader whom Mr. Su谩rez admires most.
鈥淲e have learned that neither of us married to convince the other,鈥� Ms. Su谩rez says.
A pessimistic culture
The Su谩rezes鈥� love story stands out as something of an exception in Colombia, where few have been able to overcome the sizable ideological hurdles and traumas of the past 60 years. They met at a karaoke night in 2020, and Mr. Su谩rez told her about his guerrilla roots on their third date. 鈥淟ove is for the brave,鈥� read a sign at their wedding in 2021.
鈥淭he story of Jorge and Catalina is inconceivable,鈥� says Miguel Su谩rez, director of peace building at the Ideas for Peace Foundation, a Colombian think tank, who is not related to the couple.
Colombia is not only a polarized nation, but also a pessimistic one. Apart from an eight-year period under Mr. Uribe, a majority of Colombians consistently believe that things are getting worse, according to a 2024 poll by Colombian pollster Invamer.
Colombians 鈥渢hink things are going badly even when they are actually going well,鈥� says Sergio Guzm谩n, director of Colombia Risk Analysis, a consultancy. Analysts point to the civil conflict, which killed hundreds of thousands of people and forced nearly 8 million from their homes, for what has become a culture of pessimism and distrust.
鈥淚t is a conflict entirely created by economic situations, political dynamics, and perpetual exclusions,鈥� says Mr. Guzm谩n. And it has defined how Colombians relate to each other, he says, with people failing 鈥渢o recognize that 鈥榯he other鈥� is a compatriot, that 鈥榯he other鈥� is a neighbor, and that 鈥榯he other鈥� matters in the same way.鈥�
Almost a decade after the peace agreement was signed, some 83% of Colombians in conflict-affected areas say they would not want an ex-combatant as a neighbor. About half of all business owners express reluctance to hire victims of the conflict, defined as collective or individual damage from the armed conflict, and 78% would not employ former combatants.
The vote on the peace deal in the fall of 2016 also led to a decline in trust in government institutions: About 5% of the population says it trusts Congress, and only 32% has a favorable view of the Supreme Court. The vast majority 鈥� 90% 鈥� say the only institution they trust is their own family.
There鈥檚 little space for open, public debate, says the civil society worker Mr. Su谩rez.
鈥淭here is no middle ground,鈥� he says.
鈥淚n a country that has always been at war, it is not easy to understand a relationship that is born out of a peace agreement,鈥� says Ms. Su谩rez. 鈥淥ur culture has always taught us that you cannot sit down and have a conversation with someone who thinks differently.鈥�
Unity as a path ahead
But bridging divides often starts with personal connections, says Mr. Su谩rez from the Ideas for Peace Foundation. He ticks off the ingredients for reconciliation: honesty, kindness, cooperation, good faith, and the ability to find commonalities.
His foundation conducts surveys and focus groups to better understand expectations and relationships among citizens. It also organizes workshops to bring Colombians together around common needs like fixing local infrastructure, forming civil society associations, or organizing educational workshops and festivals.
These types of projects offer a space for Colombians to get to know one another on a personal level, and gain trust in the idea that it is possible to work together despite their differences. But small-scale projects aren鈥檛 enough to heal Colombia鈥檚 larger divisions, Mr. Su谩rez says. What Colombia urgently needs are targeted public conversations and well-funded public policies that can foster long-term reconciliation.
Mr. and Ms. Su谩rez have set a powerful example for fellow citizens, he says. 鈥淭hey show that it鈥檚 possible鈥� to set political differences aside.
They have dedicated their lives to their love story in many ways, today working together to teach Colombians through a project called Respect Amid Differences that friendly disagreement is not only possible, but also important for family and community relationships.
鈥淚 think love can overcome anything,鈥� Ms. Su谩rez says. 鈥淚t鈥檚 also about learning to build some rules together, some life, and relationship norms.鈥�
Mr. Su谩rez from the Ideas for Peace Foundation puts it this way: Change and understanding will come when Colombians spend more time with people who think differently from how they do.
