Prayer calls and pet therapy: How seniors stay connected in a pandemic
| Pasadena, Calif., New York, and Chicago
Julia Adams looked forward to two family outings a week: Thursday dinner and Sunday lunch. That changed last month when the 80-year-old鈥檚 assisted living home in New Middletown, Ohio, closed to visitors as a COVID-19 precaution.
鈥淢om had kept asking about going out to dinner,鈥� says her son Charley Adams. 鈥淚 just had to keep telling her: 鈥楳om, you can鈥檛 leave, and I can鈥檛 come in.鈥� 鈥�
Editor鈥檚 note: As a public service,听all our coronavirus coverage听is free. No paywall.
Why We Wrote This
The elderly are vulnerable to the coronavirus, but also to the isolation that social distancing brings. This story looks at how families and communities are coping with this challenge.
He could hear her disappointment on the phone. The facility has听arranged听Skype听sessions to help families connect, he says, but he听doesn't听know how to use it. So one Sunday he took matters into his own hands.
Mr. Adams, who owns a tree service business, went home to get his bucket truck. It extends 55 feet into the air, more than enough to reach his mom鈥檚 3rd floor window.
鈥淚 called her on her phone 鈥� she had her blinds closed 鈥撎齛nd I said, Look out your window, Mom.鈥�
鈥淥h, it was wonderful,鈥� says Ms. Adams on a call from her room. She says her son鈥檚 surprise appearance was a big hit with the other residents, too.听
Senior care organizations are scrambling to stave off the novel coronavirus as related deaths at these facilities mount 鈥� more than 3,600 according to the听听from the Associated Press. Residents in nursing and retirement homes are considered particularly vulnerable because of their age, and many have underlying health conditions.听
Staff, too, are affected. Last week, a nursing home in Riverside, California, had to be evacuated because staff were too frightened to work. Dozens of residents, including employees, had tested positive for COVID-19.
Yet as these facilities bar visitors, group activities, and communal dining, staff and families are finding creative ways to ease the isolation of elderly residents, from听听迟辞听. Ideally, that stream of love and dedication should continue even after the pandemic, say experts, who point out that seniors in an aging nation already struggle with isolation and loneliness.
鈥淢any, many people across the nation are [leaning] into our shared humanity and working hard to be creative about how they remain connected,鈥� says Lisa Marsh Ryerson, president of the AARP Foundation, the charitable arm of the AARP, which has nearly 40 million members. 鈥淎s long as those circles of connection are inclusive of older adults, we鈥檒l all benefit.鈥�
Even before the pandemic, 1 in 4 older adults surveyed said they struggled with social isolation and 1 in 3 with loneliness, says Ms. Ryerson. Now that many seniors have become cut off from personal contact or lost work, isolation is a growing risk. It can bring on loneliness, and prolonged isolation has negative health effects 鈥� the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day,听.
鈥淰ulnerable older people tend to be invisible in communities, or can be. At a time of social distancing, we need to be very wary they don鈥檛 become more invisible.鈥�
Morale booster
In California, Gov. Gavin Newsom,听the first governor to direct people over 65 to stay home,听is asking individuals to call or text five seniors or knock on a door 鈥� even while keeping a safe distance. He鈥檚 urging folks who want to help to call a hotline, 833-544-2374, to ask about ways to reach out to seniors. The state is also partnering with AARP and a听nonprofit phone line that connects people with social services, including meals.
AARP recommends听听your loved one鈥檚 morale, including letter writing and video calling, care packages with puzzles picturing the family, and virtual meals together.听
Roy Bateman, a retiree who lives alone in San Francisco, says he is not the type to ask for help. He was never very social before the virus, though he valued the couple of outings a week to meet friends for lunch or go to a Japanese conversation class. He used to walk a lot 鈥� up to 10 hours a week.
Now he鈥檚 mostly on his computer, watching news and short videos because he can鈥檛 concentrate, or writing emails, while doing a little remote volunteer work. The former federal grants administrator is anxious about infection, and ventures out only very late at night. He lets his newspaper sit for a day, and without punctuating events in the week, Mr. Bateman is losing track of time 鈥� loosely measuring it by how many cans of vegetables are left in his kitchen.
His last grocery shopping trip was to Costco on March 13 and he needs to go soon. But if some unknown good Samaritan called him 鈥� as the governor suggests 鈥� he probably would say he doesn鈥檛 need anything, because that's "pretty much the case." And he鈥檇 rather pick out his own food. 鈥淚鈥檓 not interested in getting homemade muffins,鈥� he says.听
Still, he appreciates the weekly call he gets from Openhouse, which serves LGBTQ seniors. 鈥淚t鈥檚 really nice.鈥�
Prayer lines and funeral services听
Pastor D. Darrell Griffin, of Oakdale Covenant Church, an African American听church on Chicago鈥檚 South Side,听spends a lot of time calling seniors 鈥� phoning about 35 on a recent day. 鈥淭hey were just so elated to hear my voice, elated that the church was thinking of them,鈥� he says.
The church also hosts a 6 a.m. telephone prayer line, which has been extended from five to six days a week because of the COVID-19 crisis. It鈥檚 designed to accommodate the lowest-tech parishioner. The connections are not good and the leader has to remind people to mute their phones. But it works, and more people are joining in.
Glenna Ousley is one of the regulars. She said the pandemic has made her feel cut off, but not isolated. The prayer line has helped. 鈥淚t鈥檚 comforting,鈥� she said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 uplifting. It鈥檚 God affirming. It鈥檚 life affirming.鈥� She adds: 鈥淲e kind of feed off each other. We take comfort in knowing we鈥檙e not alone.鈥�
At the Oakdale church, seniors help each other. Richard Dobbey is 71 and head of the ushers, most of them elderly. He鈥檚 also involved in the church鈥檚 men鈥檚 group, and they鈥檙e checking in on the older seniors.
He is starting to look beyond the present crisis. 鈥淪ome of these things you鈥檙e doing now, these are things we should do all the time.鈥�
Mr. Dobbey听recently听helped organize a funeral dinner for a family. Parishioners cooked or picked up spaghetti, potato salad, green beans, three kinds of chicken, and 鈥渇our or five鈥� cakes, he said. They couldn鈥檛 go to the funeral, so they dropped the food off at the family鈥檚 house.
The head usher says he isn鈥檛 in good health and doesn鈥檛 go out much. But a few days ago, when the weather in Chicago turned warm, he walked to his driveway, sat in his car and rolled down the windows.
鈥淚 just wanted some air. I did that, and listened to music. My wife said, 鈥榃hat are you doing?鈥� It was good for me. I鈥檓 doing something for myself,鈥� he says.
Dancing and movie nights
Helping themselves, and helping each other 鈥� that鈥檚 true for many seniors during this isolation.
In Los Angeles, Hugo and Elba Corzo used to love going out to see dancers from their native Guatemala, and to dance themselves. Now the couple, in their 60s, dip and sway at their three-bedroom, two-bath home in the now trendy Highland Park neighborhood.
While Mr. Corzo continues to work as a handyman 鈥� his car is loaded with hand sanitizer, masks, and wipes 鈥� his wife, who cleans houses, is at home, tidying and sorting drawers, video-calling with her extended family, cooking, and working out to Jane Fonda.
She鈥檚 scared and lonely, but not depressed. He鈥檚 fine, he says, in an interview in a client鈥檚 back yard. In the evenings, they watch movies together. 鈥淪he wants to be with me,鈥� he smiles.
Like the Corzos, Bob and Janet Pendoley watch movies after dinner. Retired and in their 70s, they live in San Rafael, just north of San Francisco in Marin County 鈥� among the first counties in the nation to get the 鈥渟helter in place鈥� order, which took effect March 17.
鈥淚鈥檓 very comfortable, but I definitely feel isolated,鈥� says the former city planner.
Like many baby boomers, the Pendoleys have become 鈥淏aby Zoomers,鈥� learning to use Zoom, the popular video-conference service. Their first virtual reunion with their two sons and their families was 鈥渉umiliating,鈥� recalls Bob, because he could not get it to work. 鈥淚 kept hearing, 鈥極K boomer!鈥欌�� from the kids.
Now the Pendoleys are experienced Zoomers, holding a story hour with their granddaughter a couple times a week.
Yes, says Janet, it鈥檚 鈥渁ggravating鈥� not to be able to go where you want, or to visit in person. But, she concludes, this is temporary. They do have connections with people. Even as a 10-year-old, she had to find things to do so as not to get bored.
鈥淏ottom line, this makes me much more cognizant and appreciative of the things we do have.鈥�
Staff writers Francine Kiefer and Sarah Matusek reported from Pasadena and New York. Correspondent Richard Mertens reported from Chicago.听
