Obama鈥檚 tattoo plan: Tattoos for Dad, too. Will that gambit work?
Have you heard about the Obama family plan to keep daughters Sasha and Malia from getting tattoos? President Obama talked about it yesterday on the 鈥淭oday鈥� show. It鈥檚 sort of based on assured mutual deterrence. Or preemption 鈥� you could call it that, too.
鈥淢ichelle and I have used the strategy when it comes to things like tattoos 鈥� what we鈥檝e said to the girls, 鈥業f you guys ever decide you鈥檙e going to get a tattoo, then mommy and me will get the same exact tattoo in the same place,鈥� Mr. Obama told 鈥淭oday鈥� journalist Savannah Guthrie. 鈥淎nd we鈥檒l go on YouTube and show it off as a family tattoo. And our thinking is that might dissuade them from thinking that somehow that鈥檚 a good way to rebel.鈥�
Wow, that鈥檚 interesting, in the sense that it鈥檚 a fairly coherent and intellectualized way to approach this common parental problem. But here鈥檚 our question: Will that really work?
No, as a parent of two teenagers, Decoder does not think it is a successful long-run strategy, either.
Oh sure, it鈥檚 worked for now. They鈥檙e still kind of young. Malia is 14 and Sasha is 11. They鈥檙e not marching into any tattoo parlor near Sidwell Friends School in upper northwest DC. First, there aren鈥檛 any 鈥� they can鈥檛 afford the rents there. Second, you鈥檝e got to be 18 to get a tat in the city, we believe. The City Council .
So they鈥檇 get thrown out, for being under age and because few tattoo parlors care to have Secret Service watchdogs at their door.
But the real reason the preemption strategy probably appeals to the Obamas right now is that their daughters still listen to them. They can process cause and parental reaction and weigh options. They haven鈥檛 entered that period where common sense gets suspended, and they focus mostly on their own needs and wants, because that鈥檚 what teenagers do.
Oh, were we projecting there?
Once they are 18, they will be away from daily parental authority and tattoos might seem like a better idea. At that age, they don鈥檛 really think about long-term consequences, so they might get body art just to spite their parents. Or because they forgot their parents鈥� we-will-do-it-too vow. Or because they don鈥檛 care. Or just because.
As Connor Simpson notes on the Atlantic Wire, 鈥渢hese are young women who take cellphone photos and, yes, go on spring break. You don鈥檛 stop them. You can only hope to contain them.鈥�
And then what happens? The president of the United States will probably feel obligated to get a tattoo of a butterfly at the base of his neck, because he vowed he would; and if he does not follow through, opponents will doubt his strength of will, or something like that.
has imagined this future, and it isn鈥檛 pretty. How will Obama negotiate with House Republicans on the budget with a Mike Tyson-like web of ink encircling his eye?
No, once they get old enough to be out of your daily control, the best way to keep them from getting tattoos might be bribes. Tell them as long as they remain tat-free, they can use Camp David for parties, say.
Or Obama might convince some senator to slip a rider in an appropriations bill that simply makes it illegal to give the children of any current or former US chief executive a tattoo. As LBJ once said in another context when someone told him a bill was a bad idea, 鈥淲ell then what the [expletive] is the presidency for?鈥�
