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For politicians who have a change of heart about gay marriage 鈥� see Obama, Barack 鈥� figuring out how and when to 鈥渃ome out鈥� is a delicate task. 聽

But for the gay teenage child of a prominent Republican politician with national ambitions 鈥� and a record of opposing any expansion of gay rights 鈥� coming out may seem so risky, so emotionally fraught, as to be not worth it.

That latter scenario is where Will Portman found himself, the son of Sen. Rob Portman (R) of Ohio, just two years ago as a freshman at Yale University. , young Mr. Portman 鈥� now a junior 鈥� describes the difficult process of coming out to his parents, his keen awareness of the political implications for his father, and the hope that his family鈥檚 story can be a positive example for anyone who is 鈥渃loseted and afraid.鈥�

The gay relative of another prominent conservative 鈥� Chief Justice John Roberts 鈥� made news Sunday when the Los Angeles Times reported that Justice Roberts鈥檚 lesbian cousin would be attending this week鈥檚 US Supreme Court arguments on gay marriage as his guest. That tells us exactly nothing about how Roberts might ultimately rule on gay marriage, but it does point to a simple fact: that many people have relatives and/or friends who are gay, a fact that can affect one鈥檚 views of this fast-evolving social issue.

Which brings us back to the Portman family. Senator Portman made headlines earlier this month by announcing that he now supports gay marriage 鈥� an unusual step for a top Republican, who was on GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney鈥檚 short list for running mate. In his recent gay-marriage announcement, Portman also told the world that his son was gay 鈥� a fact already known to family and friends, but until then, not a part of the senator鈥檚 public profile.

鈥淪ome people have criticized my dad for waiting for two years after I came out to him before he endorsed marriage for gay couples,鈥� writes Will Portman. 鈥淧art of the reason for that is that it took time for him to think through the issue more deeply after the impetus of my coming out. But another factor was my reluctance to make my personal life public.鈥�

The younger Portman also writes that when his dad was under consideration as Mr. Romney鈥檚 running mate last summer, he told the Romney campaign that his son was gay, that he and his wife, Will鈥檚 mother, were 鈥渟upportive and proud of their son,鈥� and that they鈥檇 be open about his orientation on the campaign trail.

The senator wasn鈥檛 selected, but he told CNN it wasn鈥檛 because his son was gay. The Romney campaign told him that, Senator Portman said.

Still, though Will Portman had supported his dad鈥檚 interest in aiming for higher office, he writes that he was 鈥減retty relieved to have avoided the spotlight of a presidential campaign.鈥�

But now, in writing Monday鈥檚 column, Portman has cast himself in a slightly different role 鈥� as an advocate in his own right for young gay people coming to terms with their identity and for the right of same-sex couples to get married.

He writes of how, as a college freshman, the prospect of coming out was 鈥減retty terrifying.鈥� He intended to tell his parents during winter break but didn鈥檛. Back at school, he went the library, wrote a letter to his parents, put it in overnight mail, and awaited a response.

鈥淭hey called as soon as they got the letter,鈥� Portman writes. 鈥淭hey were surprised to learn I was gay, and full of questions, but absolutely rock-solid supportive. That was the beginning of the end of feeling ashamed about who I was.鈥�

Portman also shows an understanding of the two worlds he inhabits 鈥� his conservative hometown, Cincinnati, and the liberal environs of Yale, which he calls the 鈥淕ay Ivy.鈥� And, unlike some advocates of gay marriage, he does not judge those who have a problem with legalized unions for same-sex couples.

鈥淲e鈥檙e all the products of our backgrounds and environments, and the issue of marriage for same-sex couples is a complicated nexus of love, identity, politics, ideology, and religious beliefs,鈥� Portman writes. 鈥淲e should think twice before using terms like 鈥榖igoted鈥� to describe the position of those opposed to same-sex marriage or 鈥榠mmoral鈥� to describe the position of those in favor, and always strive to cultivate humility in ourselves as we listen to others鈥� perspectives and share our own.鈥�

鈥淚 hope that my dad鈥檚 announcement and our family鈥檚 story will have a positive impact on anyone who is closeted and afraid, and questioning whether there鈥檚 something wrong with them,鈥� he concludes. 鈥淚鈥檝e been there. If you鈥檙e there now, please know that things really do get better, and they will for you too.鈥澛�