For some in military, a heartbreak Trump can't comprehend
| Washington
Ryan McGill still grieves the loss of one of his best friends, a fellow pilot who was shot down during the Iraq war.
鈥淚鈥檓 still heartbroken,鈥� says the chief warrant officer in the United States Army Reserve, who flew Black Hawk helicopters in Iraq. 鈥淚 talk to his family all the time just to check in, because it never goes away.鈥�
It is with this friend in mind that Officer McGill says he will not consider voting for Donald Trump. For McGill, Mr. Trump鈥檚 response to a Muslim-American family who lost a son serving in Iraq was unprofessional enough to disqualify him.
鈥淗e wants to be the commander in chief, but to say that the sacrifices he鈥檚 made are on par with these families, or even greater than theirs 鈥� it鈥檚 horrible,鈥� he says.
While troops potentially sacrifice their lives, families sacrifice even more, he adds. 鈥淭hey鈥檙e the ones who are left worrying and wondering every day whether we鈥檙e going to return,鈥� he says. 鈥淲hen someone doesn鈥檛, like Captain Khan, it鈥檚 heartbreaking.鈥�
Prominent veterans from Sen. John McCain to the head of the Veterans of Foreign Wars have condemned Trump鈥檚 behavior toward Khan鈥檚 mother and father, who have spoken against Trump during and after the Democratic National Convention (DNC). Trump has since equated his sacrifices as a businessman with the Khans鈥� in losing their son, and he has also lashed out at the Khans for criticizing him.
But McGill鈥檚 comments suggest that the anger extends into at least some of the military鈥檚 rank and file, too. 聽
'Outright unprofessional'
鈥淵ou should never, ever argue with a Gold Star family,鈥� the name the military has given to those who have lost loved ones at war, says Army Reserve Capt. Asha Castleberry, who has served a total of 30 months on deployments to Iraq and Kuwait.
鈥淥ut of all of the speakers, he reacts to that family,鈥� she says. 鈥淚t makes you question his judgment and his sensitivity toward the families of fallen soldiers. To me, it鈥檚 just outright unprofessional.鈥�
In his speech at the Democratic convention, Mr. Khan had said that Trump was asking Americans to trust him with their future. 鈥淟et me ask you, have you ever read the US Constitution?鈥� he said. 鈥淗ave you been to Arlington cemetery?鈥� Khan concluded, 鈥淵ou have sacrificed nothing and no one.鈥�
Trump hit back, saying he has 鈥渕ade a lot of sacrifices.鈥� He also wondered aloud why Khan鈥檚 wife stood by silently during her husband鈥檚 speech. Her answer, which she explained on MSNBC: Her son鈥檚 photo appearing as they spoke made her want to cry, and she was trying to keep her emotions in check. At home, she said, 鈥淚 cannot even come into the room where his pictures are.鈥�
Mr. Khan, for his part, said he couldn鈥檛 have gotten through his DNC speech without his wife by his side.
In a statement, Republican vice presidential nominee Mike Pence praised the Khans. "Donald Trump and I believe that Captain Humayun Khan is an American hero and his family, like all Gold Star families, should be cherished by every American," the statement says.
The VFW's reaction
But many prominent Republicans have continued to speak聽about Trump's comments.
鈥淚n recent days, Donald Trump disparaged a fallen soldier鈥檚 parents,鈥� wrote Senator McCain, a decorated veteran and chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, in a statement released Monday. 鈥淗e has suggested that the likes of their son should not be allowed in the United States 鈥� to say nothing of entering its service. I cannot emphasize enough how deeply I disagree with Mr. Trump鈥檚 statement.鈥�
House Armed Services Committee Chairman Mac Thornberry said he was 鈥渄ismayed鈥� by the attacks the Khans 鈥渉ave endured after they spoke about their son鈥檚 service and sacrifice. There is never enough honor we can show the families of those whose loved ones have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.鈥�
Meanwhile, Brian Duffy, head of the Veterans of Foreign Wars, said Trump鈥檚 statements about a Gold Star family were 鈥渦nacceptable鈥� and perhaps irreparable.
鈥淓lection year or not, the VFW will not tolerate anyone berating a Gold Star family member for exercising his or her right of speech or expression,鈥� he said in a statement. 鈥淭here are certain sacrosanct subjects that no amount of word-smithing can repair once crossed.鈥�
'A lot like my own parents'
For Army Maj. Kamal Kalsi, who met the Khan family at the Democratic National Convention, Trump鈥檚 comments to the Khans strike deeper.
鈥淭hey in many ways are a lot like my own parents,鈥� says Major Kalsi, an Army doctor 鈥淭hey immigrated to this country, and their son also served in the military, like I do.鈥�
Kalsi was just off-stage when Khizr Khan, the father, delivered his speech.
鈥淚t brought tears to my eyes,鈥� he says.
It reminded him of his deployment to Afghanistan, serving at a field hospital in violent Helmand Province. 鈥淲e were seeing lots and lots of casualties.鈥� In a rare free moment, he was able to sit down and phone his family. At one point, he recalls his then two-year-old son said, 鈥� 鈥楧a Da, I miss you. Do you still remember me?鈥� It breaks your heart,鈥� Kalsi says.
鈥淒onald Trump has time and again shown not just that he鈥檚 never sacrificed anything 鈥� that he鈥檚 a person who鈥檚 only taken 鈥� but that he doesn鈥檛 even understand sacrifice,鈥� he adds. 鈥淎nybody who can鈥檛 appreciate the depth of grief of a military family, or that finds a way to twist a mother鈥檚 grief into some sort of cultural incompetency 鈥� really has a callous disregard not just for a soldier鈥檚 life, but for humanity.鈥�
