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A former helicopter pilot in Vietnam, Mark Nestor had for a decade spearheaded a ceremony during a Memorial Day parade in Gloucester, Mass., for his fellow veterans of the infamous war.

This year, however, the city decided to skip the stop along its parade route at the modest Vietnam memorial nestled in a corner of the campus of a local high school that saw 11 of its graduates die in the war. 鈥淭he argument is based on 鈥榃e are one country that has fought many wars,鈥� 鈥� Gloucester Mayor Carolyn Kirk told the hometown newspaper. 鈥淲ith veterans returned and returning from Desert Storm, Iraq, Afghanistan, etc., the concern was that every war would end up with its own Memorial Day service.鈥�

As the nation commemorates the 50th anniversary of the beginning of the Vietnam war this year, the choice of this particular Memorial Day to cut the Vietnam war memorial from the parade route hit particularly hard, says Mr. Nestor.聽

But what happened next was a poignant and surprising show of community support, he adds: The city鈥檚 office, Facebook, and Twitter pages were inundated with calls to keep the Vietnam memorial stop along route. 鈥淭he outpouring was absolutely astonishing.鈥�

In Washington on Monday, President Obama and Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta will take part in a ceremony at the wall to remember the start of the unpopular war, and to pay tribute to the more than 58,000 Americans who died fighting it.聽

Indeed, as the half-century commemoration of the war approaches, advocates say that Vietnam veterans across the country are increasingly 鈥� though still gradually and cautiously 鈥� stepping out to accept tributes of gratitude for their service.

鈥淭hey were so damaged and they were so upset--for years, they didn鈥檛 want to remember a very bad experience that we as a country made worse,鈥� Nestor says. 鈥淲e鈥檙e still trying to bring them back out of obscurity, and in an imperfect way, to say belatedly that we appreciate what you do.鈥�

In the Chicago suburb of Arlington Heights, Ill., where he is organizing a parade for Vietnam veterans, Greg Padovani says that despite outreach, some remain reluctant to come forward. 鈥淭hey say, 鈥楲isten, I really appreciate what you鈥檙e doing, but I don鈥檛 need to march. I prefer not to march,鈥� 鈥� he says. 鈥淪ome of their experiences were so tough, so horrible that they can鈥檛 bring themselves to march, because it brings back memories.鈥�

Others find the experience cathartic. What鈥檚 more, the growing willingness of some Vietnam vets to step forward comes in part from the warm welcome they have seen Iraq and Afghan war veterans receive, says Mr. Padovani, a veteran of the Vietnam war.

鈥淭hey鈥檙e seeing that the country may be upset at the war, but they鈥檙e not taking it out on the veterans themselves, but on the politicians,鈥� he adds. 鈥淭hat鈥檚 a big difference from the Vietnam era. It鈥檚 made a lot of the Vietnam guys realize that the country is very supportive of its vets 鈥� and that things have changed in that respect.鈥澛�

In many instances, Vietnam veterans 鈥� protective of their fellow Iraq and Afghan war vets 鈥� have helped to drive that change.聽

A pivotal force behind the creation of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial wall in Washington 30 years ago, Jan Scruggs says that it is often the Vietnam vets who are arranging airport welcomes and other events for vets returning home from America鈥檚 current wars. 鈥淲e just don鈥檛 want anything to happen to them that happened to us,鈥� he says.

The Memorial Day ceremony at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial 鈥渋s really a magnificent, incredible event for us,鈥� Mr. Scruggs adds, citing the participation of the President of the United States in the ceremony. 鈥淸President Obama] knows that we do a lot for these guys coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan.鈥澛�

In past years, 鈥淲e always invited President Bush, but he couldn鈥檛 come because it was just a big public relations land-mine for him,鈥� Scruggs adds. 鈥淣ow you鈥檝e got somebody who is almost saluting his elders. President Obama鈥檚 a generation removed from Vietnam, and he really wants to salute the Vietnam vets.鈥�

In Arlington Heights, the ceremony will include a choir comprised of Vietnam vets and local school children, as well as veterans of Iraq, Afghanistan, the Korean War, and World War II. 鈥淚raq and Afghan war vets are wonderful kids 鈥� wonderful people 鈥� and we have nothing but admiration for them,鈥� Padovani says.

Back in Gloucester, the annual Memorial Day parade stop at the unassuming Vietnam veterans memorial will continue, and Nestor expects many Iraq and Afghan war vets to stop by. 鈥淔ighting in Afghanistan is probably just as bad as fighting in the jungles of Vietnam,鈥� he says. In any case, he adds, 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 do it because you want to do it. You do it because you鈥檙e asked to do it by your country 鈥� and that should be recognized.鈥澛�