Husband-hunting advice from Princeton alum triggers outrage, humor
| Washington
When a Princeton alum Friday advising Princeton women to 鈥渇ind a husband on campus before you graduate,鈥� she triggered a deluge of replies 鈥� a few supportive, many critical, at least one humorous.
Reaction was so strong that The Daily Princetonian鈥檚 website crashed after getting 2,000 views, according to . The Princetonian鈥檚 editor-in-chief, Luc Cohen, says the paper will publish later this week dedicated to responses to the letter.
The writer who stirred up this storm, Susan A. Patton, was president of the Princeton class of 1977. One of her sons is a Princeton graduate and the other attends the school now. Ms. Patton told Maureen O鈥機onnor of that she runs her own business as a human resources consultant and executive coach. 鈥淚鈥檓 astounded by the extreme reaction鈥�. I just thought this was some good advice from a Jewish mother,鈥� Patton said.聽
The proud Princeton alum says she wrote her letter 鈥� subtitled 鈥淎dvice for the young women of Princeton鈥� after attending a presentation at the university on the issue of work-life balance. The gathering featured a conversation between university President Shirley Tilghman and Wilson School professor Anne-Marie Slaughter, whose article in the Atlantic, 鈥淲hy Women Can鈥檛 Have it All,鈥� attracted wide attention.
Patton, just divorced after 27 years of marriage, wrote that, 鈥淚t鈥檚 amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman鈥檚 lack of erudition, if she is exceptionally pretty. Smart women can鈥檛 (shouldn鈥檛) marry men who aren鈥檛 at least their intellectual equal. As Princeton women, we have almost priced ourselves out of the market. Simply put, there is a very limited population of men who are as smart or smarter than we are. And I say again 鈥� you will never again be surrounded by this concentration of men who are worthy of you.鈥�
In a followup interview with New York magazine, Patton said her former husband 鈥渨ent to a school of almost no name recognition鈥� and that put a strain on their marriage.
Most reaction to the letter was critical, although one person who commented on the Princetonian website said, 鈥淧atton is not only intelligent, she is a true friend of women. Don鈥檛 be cynical, understand what she is trying to say.鈥�
Princeton President Tilghman was less approving. 鈥淧rinceton is an educational institution. It鈥檚 not a marriage bureau,鈥� she told the Princetonian. 鈥淭he purpose of a Princeton education is not to find a spouse; the purpose is to prepare yourself for a meaningful life.鈥�
The Princetonian quoted Professor Slaughter as saying Patton鈥檚 letter 鈥渢akes us firmly backward.鈥�
Alyssa Rosenberg, writing on the , said she thought the Princetonian published the letter because it would bring heavy web traffic. 鈥淭he decision to publish Patton鈥檚 letter was a demonstration that college newspapers aren鈥檛 just a place to learn the basics of reporting and opinion writing: they鈥檙e glomming on to the business realities of online publishing as well. Patton鈥檚 letter is exactly the kind of thing that is tremendously clicky, to the extent that it was probably worth it financially to the Daily Princetonian to publish it even if the site ended up offline because of the massive influx of readers.鈥�
On a lighter note, Jane Reynolds, writing on the , offered an observation that will resonate with both children and parents. 鈥淥ne positive thing I got from her piece was the realization that I officially don't have the most embarrassing mother on the planet," she said.聽
